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Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.



by Melissa McMahan


Xena grabs Lila and goes back inside the barn where Gabrielle and Joxer are. Argo runs inside too, she starts to eat the hay.

XENA: Argo?! (Sighs) Look I don't know what's going on here, but Joxer go to sleep. Lila and Gabrielle come back in the house with me. Good night Joxer.

JOXER: Good night ladies. (The door shuts and Joxer's alone again) Sh... !

Aphrodite showers in with golden light. Argo shakes her head at the goddess.

APHR: Hey watch your tougue, puddin' it's a vital part of you anatomy after all. I'm sure Gab's wouldn't like it very much if I rip it out of your mouth. (Giggles) Oh come on, it was just a little joke.

JOXER: Very little is right. (Scoffs) Stick with the love thing it suits you just fine.

APHR: Hum, yes. (Pauses) Well anyway, I think it may not be such a good idea to have this happen so close to her mom and dad.

JOXER: I hope it's before things on both of us trun gray and it just stops working.

APHR: Ew! (Sighs) Look babe, you're still going about this thing all wrong. Chill.

JOXER: Easy for you to say, Dite. You can go where ever you like whith whoever you wanna be with, without Xena or somone else interrrupting you.

APHR: True, but I tell you what. I'll do you one small favor studmuffin, since it seems Xena might be doing one for me. I'll find a distraction for Xena, so you and Gabrielle can have some time alone.

JOXER: What the distraction that's gonna keep Xena that busy?

APHR: Not what honey, try who. (Giggles) I have to go find him, that shouldn't be too hard. I just have to think like him and... Oh duty calls! Bye, sweetie.

Aphrodite showers out in her gold light. Joxer lays back and shuts his eyes. Gabrielle lays down by the fire and waits. She can hear her sister and Xena talking.

GABBY: Oh come on, go to sleep you two.

Gabrielle starts thinking back...


JOXER: Hey! I know what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna find a bell to ring, so I can get out of these chains, aren’t you?

GABBY: Hah. No, no, no. No-- you’re becoming a super-sexy warrior is what got us into this mess.

JOXER: I’m disappointed in you, Gabrielle.

GABBY: What?

JOXER: I think you’re jealous.


Joxer dips Gabrielle and kisses her like crazy, then she swoons in his arms. Then she slaps herself.

GABBY: Ahhh! That was scary.

Gabrielle still hears Xena and Lila talking. Xena laughs over something. She tosses on her back and looks a small wood box in a small nich next to the fireplace.

GABBY: Uh, it's... it's beautiful. But why?

JOXER: Cause I wanted to get you something. You know just to, uh, say sorry for the three naked yous and... and everything. (Gabrielle chuckles) I... Um, I had to trade my father's scabbard for it.

GABBY: What?

JOXER: I had to trade my father's scabbard for it.

GABBY: Joxer, you said that you would never, ever part with that scabbard.

JOXER: Well you know, Gabrielle... Some things in life are worth more than what they seem.

GABBY: The scroll, Joxer.

JOXER: Yeah?

GABBY: I hid the scroll in the scabbard.

JOXER: You did?


GABBY: Can you imagine to two of us in love?

JOXER: Ridiculous.

GABBY: I know it kinda makes you laugh just thinking about it. (Giggles)


LEAH: Well, the chaste life's not so bad. Once you get used to it. You simply have to follow the Hestian rules. Rule 1-Know thyself. Rule 2- Whatever... (Gabrielle laughs interupting Leah head priestess of the temple of Hestia and Xena look alike)

GABBY: Believe me. If I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem.

Gabrielle suddenly hears only nothing but the fire and the sound of her own crying. Then she hears thunder off in the distance, but moving towards her town. She gets up and rolls up the covers away from the fireplace. She sneeks out the door without a sound and runs to the barn. She finds Joxer sleeping on his side in the hay, she wakes him up by blowing in his ear. Thunder crashes and it starts to rain.

JOXER: Gabby?! (Argo comes closer to them) No Argo, go to sleep.

GABBY: Joxer the Mighty. (Kisses Joxer for a while) Or should I say, Joxer the Magnificent?! (Growls) The rain is kinda romantic isn't it?

JOXER: So have you changed your mind about dancing naked in the rain with me?

GABBY: Joxer! (Gets mad then laughs) Someone would see us for sure.

JOXER: I settle for dancing naked in the hay. (Kisses Gabrielle) Mmm?!

GABBY: Ok, but I lead.

Joxer and Gabrielle start making out, as the rain, thunder and lightning grow loader as they really get into their embrace. Joxer slides his hands up from Gabrielle's knees to her hips, but then the rain falls in from the roof and hits him. They both scream, get up and start shaking the water off their bodies. Argo moves out of their way and then looks at them.

GABBY: Come no, we'll go in.

Joxer follows Gabrielle into the farm house they sit by the fire to dry off, then everyone comes in on them.

XENA: What happened?!

GABBY: I saw that the storm was getting really bad, so I went out to bring Joxer in.

JOXER: This rain water just came through the roof, bash!

XENA: Oh? (Chuckles) Well you two need to get out of those wet clothes.

LILA: I'll go get your bags. (Walks out of the room)

MOM: Well you poor things, you just stay in here and I'll make up some more of that leek soup. I think we have just enough leeks for you Gabrielle and Joxer.

XENA: Well I think I'll get a few more hours of sleep.

DAD: Me too, not much to do when in a storm like this.

Outside the storm clould move away in the darkness of the night, as the sun starts to rise lighting up the sky above. A rainbow comes down from the blue sky. Xena brings Argo out of the barn, as Gabrielle brings Joxer out in almost the same way. Lila waves with her mom and dad, as her sister with her friends walk out of sight.

XENA: Come on girl. (Gets up on Argo) It was nice to sleep in a real bed.

GABBY: Yeah. (Looks at Joxer and smiles) I bet you wouldn't mind a bed soon.

JOXER: I'll take that bet. (Smiles)

GABBY: So how about the rest of this mission? What could Aphrodite have to do with it?

XENA: I can tell you one thing it has to do with a boat trip.

JOXER: A boat?!

XENA: I know how you hate to be stuck on a boat with Joxer, but you'll have to be.

Gabrielle raises an eyebrow and smiles at Joxer. Xena looks at Joxer too.

XENA: Joxer I need you to tell Aphrodite, she likes you best of the three of us.

GABBY: I know she doesn't like me too much. (Scoffs)

XENA: This is where I part company with you two again. You need to go to the port two miles that way. (Points) Look for a boat called Titanus, get on it. When it lands on the Carthage shore I'll be there. Just keep you eyes peeled for anything strange. You'll know it when you see it, trust me.

Xena tosses a small bag of dinars at Joxer and then takes off. Joxer and Gabrielle look for the boat, they pay and get on it. It's a huge ship that the upper class sail on.

GABBY: Oh! (Sighs) It's very nice isn't it?

JOXER: This is the biggest boat I've ever been on.

Gabrielle looks around, she sees the back of a mans head and gasps.

GABBY: Autolycus?! (Walks up to Autolycus) It is you!

AUTO: Hello blondie and were is Xena?

GABBY: She'll met up with us in Carthage. (Sighs) What are you doing here?

AUTO: Doing what I do best, well one of the things I do best anyway.

Joxer turns and looks around seeing Gabrielle with Autolycus, he runs up to them.

JOXER: Hi, Auto. (Puts his hands on Gabrielle's shoulders) I'm with her.

AUTO: So Xena put you two on this tub to keep you outta her hair right?

GABBY: No Autolycus, she told us to keep you eyes peeled for anything strange and here you are. (Giggles then Joxer burst out with his laughter too)

AUTO: Funny, how would you two like to go for a little swim? (Chuckles) I think there are sharks in these waters.

JOXER: Could you two stop this now, maybe if we ask him in a nice way. Auto can help us out, how about it? (Smiles) Huh, Gabby?

GABBY: Oh alright, but me a Joxer need some time alone... To talk about the mission we're on. (Smiles) Ok, Autolycus?

AUTO: Hum, this might be worth my time after all. (Thinking) So you wanna be lone with Joxer, huh?

JOXER: Well lets start by doing what Xena asked us to do.

AUTO: Joxer can I talk to you alone for a moment?

GABBY: I'll go look around by myself then. (Marches off)

JOXER: What is it?

AUTO: She's got the hots for 'ya. That's what it is, you moron.

JOXER: I know. (Chuckles) Um, but how did you know?

AUTO: Please?! (Scoffs) If there is one thing I know is when a woman is...

JOXER: Shh! (Sighs) She's coming back.

GABBY: I found one thing strange on this ship.

JOXER: What's that?

GABBY: It's docking, we gotta get off and stay in this small town for an hour?

AUTO: So what lets have some fun.

Gabrielle takes both Joxer and Autolycus by the arms and they head off the ship. Gabrielle lets go and runs towards a shop. Joxer points and yells at her.

JOXER: Watch her Auto, I'm gonna go buy her something.

AUTO: A gift? (Joxer nods) That's eazy, a lead for her gimps neck?

Joxer starts to say something, but just walks off. Autolycus chuckles as he goes into the shop Gabrielle is in. She has on a red dress and is looking in a mirror.



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