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Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.



by Melissa McMahan


Joxer flexed his neck as he raised both of his eyebrows. He had never seen Gabrielle with such a look of shock and fear on her face. She was looking as if these feeling were because of him and he didn't understand why. He was aroused and was pondering what she was thinking as she gawked at him this way.

JOXER: Ok I give up, what's with this look? (Silence) Gabby?!

Before Gabrielle could bring herself around to talk she was interrupted by the inn servant. The woman unceremoniously sat a basket of bread on the table with a large bottle of clear alcohol. Joxer tries to hand it back to her.

JOXER: I'm sorry we didn't order this. Did we Gabby?

GABBY: Ah?! Um, no.

SERVANT: The man that sat with you just before he came over here did. (Pauses) He said to tell you enjoy it, but you owe him?

JOXER: Yeah, that's Autolycus aright.

SERVANT: All I know was he was a hunk.

GABBY: Well thanks for sharing that with us. (Servant walks away) Joxer?

JOXER: I know what you're gonna say and it's true.

GABBY: By the gods! (Gasps) It is?!

JOXER: Yeah! (Chuckles) Auto is a nice guy.

GABBY: Oh forget about him, we need to talk about us... I mean you and me.

JOXER: Huh?!

GABBY: Wait I mean how you... Um, the way you... Oh gods! (Sighs)

JOXER: Just spit it out. (Gabrielle looks away) Ah, come on? Come on?

Joxer starts to take a drink as Gabrielle faces him quickly.

GABBY: Joxer, you want me bad don't you?!

Joxer chokes on his drink as the question Gabrielle asked him made his whole body shake. She pats his back and he catches his breath.

GABBY: Well I guess I know the answer now. Mmm?

JOXER: What gave me... (Coughs) How did you...

GABBY: It just hit me that you did. (Sighs) I didn't see it until moments after I kissed you. (Pauses) Am I wrong or is it more than just a se... Um, a physical attraction? (Grits her teeth and sucks in air) Hum?!

JOXER: Much more than that, but...

GABBY: I see.

JOXER: So you're not gonna laugh at me?! (Sighs) Like you did after Cupid's arrow spell was broken? I was upset and Xena tried to comfort me, but...

GABBY: Xena?! My gods, she's known all this time?! (Joxer nods) Who else?!

JOXER: Autolycus, Aphrodite, Minya, Meg...

GABBY: Wait! (Rolls her eyes) I take it I'm the only one who did not know if even Meg knows, right?!

JOXER: Yeah. (Scoffs) You wouldn't be a slight bit... (Pauses and looks around) Well a tiny bit... Ah, jealous would you?

GABBY: Jeal... Jealous?! (Scoffs) Of that two bit tramp?!

Joxer opens his mouth to say something, but Gabrielle breaks off a chunk of bread and puts in his mouth. Joxer takes it back out and laughs. Gabrielle gives Joxer the look, the the servant places their food before them. Gabrielle takes a few bites from the chicken leg, as the servant leaves.

JOXER: I thought you acted like it when you found out about Meg and me, but I shrugged it off. (Sighs) Now I see right through you, admit it? (Chuckles) You are so jealous you can taste it. (Pauses) Right?

GABBY: Joxer! (Growls) The only thing I taste besides this chicken is the bile coming from your mouth. (Sighs) I am not, nor have I ever been the least bit jealous of Meg! (Saying her name like a dirty word)

JOXER: Um, hum? (Rolls eyes) Sure.

GABBY: Joxer! (Narrows her eyes) Watch it.

JOXER: You are. (Moves closer to Gabrielle) Are you going to still deny it?

Gabrielle lets out a frustrated, angry animal groan. As Joxer puts his hand on her arm and smiles at her. Gabrielle's face turn red as fire as she looks at Joxer with a wild glint in her eyes. Joxer slowly moves his hand up her arm.

GABBY: Get your hand off of me... Now!

Joxer moves back and picks at his food. He takes a few bites and drinks alot. Gabrielle eats thinking her chicken bones on the plate. She looks over at Joxer after she's done, he's only had half the food. However he's pretty drunk and looks at her before drinking more right from the bottle.

JOXER: What are you looking at?! (Hiccups) If you want the rest of my food take it. You already took everything else from me. My heart, my soul, my reason for living and now you want my chicken too. (Yells) Well take it!

GABBY: Thanks. (Starts eating) I'm really hungry.

JOXER: Well I'm not. It must be because of all the crow you had me eating.

GABBY: Joxer I'm sorry, this is something we need to talk about later and...

JOXER: You know what Gabrielle I've taken alot of your crap since I've known you and why? Because I'm in love with you. With every fiber of my being I love you, that's why. (Sobs) You just don't want to care about me, do you? You hate me, don't you? I'm just a big dork to you and Xena aren't I?!

Joxer starts to take another drink, but Gabrielle takes the bottle way from him. She sits it on the table, he reaches towards it and ends up leaning on her. She grabs under his chin and looks right into his eyes.

JOXER: Gabrielle? (Demanding) Give me that bottle back!

GABBY: I'm gonna drink the rest of this just so I know you don't. (Sniffs it) Whoa! (Sips some) This this strong. (Coughs) I hope I can down this half.

JOXER: Go on and take that too I have enough dinars to drink myself under the table. You and Xena can forget about me, you two hate me anyway.

GABBY: All right! That's not true! (Sighs) You know better than that, me and Xena care a great deal about you. Sure Xena says she doesn't, but she would of killed you long ago if that was true. Xena...

JOXER: Xena, Xena, Xena! I'm love Xena, but I'm not in love with Xena. I'm talking about you, Gabrielle. I love you.

GABBY: Shut up Joxer. (Sighs) Why do you think I would of stayed with you and worried about you when you were beaten nearly to death by those casino thugs? (Sighs) And all the other times you have been hurt?

JOXER: Because you like to heal people who are hurting.

GABBY: Well yes, but in case you didn't notice you and Xena get a little more care than others have from me. That's because I do care alot about you two. Do I have to draw it out on a scroll for you, don't be such a dork.

JOXER: You also abuse me alot more than you do other people

Gabrielle pushes Joxer's lips into a pucker, as Joxer moans in pain from it.

GABBY: That's because nobody else makes me as angry as you do.

Joxer shuts his eyes and expects a bash on the head that never comes. He slowly opens one eye and finds Gabrielle shaking her head at him. He opened both eyes and she hits his chest as she let go of his chin. Then she sat drinking the alcohol, as Joxer watched her down it faster and faster. He took the bottle and gulps down the last bit of it. At this point they both are very drunk and Gabrielle starts to giggle wildly.


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