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Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.
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~ XENA AND GABRIELLE SOLD TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER ~
by Melissa McMahan
ACT TWO: ROUGH TRADE
Joxer dismounts Argo as he sees Xena and Gabrielle being lead into the remains of an old town. Which was an obvious bordello now. He watches as the owner pays for the women and them being drug out on the ground.
JOXER: Oh gods!
Joxer moves closer so he can hear what's going on. The owner Ambrose looks over the women, then talks to a thug.
AMBR: The new man in your ranks, when is he due here?
THUG 1: Well you can't miss him. (Laughs) He's a runt, but don't let his size fool ya' he's eager.
THUG 2: He'll teach the new ones their place.
THUG 3: I saw 'em poke another mans eyes out!
THUG 1: You gotta place for us tonight or all the women too busy?
AMBR: I got one cabin left, you'll hafta share. (Coughs) Your little friend and the new one I'll put up in the stables, no horses in there anyway. (Scoffs)
Joxer watches as the men walk off and he catches Xena's eye. Gabrielle looks up and sees him too. He goes into the woods and waits. Soon a short man walks by him and Joxer knocks the man out with ease. Drags him out of sight, ties him to a tree and gags him.
JOXER: Now to save the woman I love and Xena too.
Joxer strolls into the bordello and Ambrose shakes his hand. They talk for a moment before they walk into the stables, he has fooled the owner into thinking he's the one the thugs told him about.
AMBR: You gotta name, sonny?
JOXER: Yes I do.
AMBR: Oh?! (Chuckles) That's funny! I like you, look here's the keys. (Hands them to Joxer) All I ask is that you don't leave any marks on 'em. We clear?
JOXER: I have many skills.
AMBR: That's what I hear, sonny.
Ambrose leaves, then to Joxer's delight he brings back Xena and Gabrielle chained together as his love slaves.
JOXER: Well, well, well what do we have here?! (Grins) Lemme see! (Walks over to Xena) Leather? (Sighs) You're a wild little mink aren't you? (Scoffs) Yeah, you are.
Xena rolls her eyes up, as Joxer smiles at her. Then pats her on top of her head, as he walks around her and Gabrielle. Then stops just behind the Amazon Bard. Joxer looks down and slaps Gabrielle on her butt. As he walks around to face her she growls at him.
JOXER: Oh she looks sweet, but with that growl I bet she is one feisty little blonde. (Chuckles) What's hot besides your temper, hum? (Gabrielle struggles to hit him) Ah, don't worry there's enough time for your sweet affections later. (Bounces his eyebrows) Bet you can't wait can you? (Chuckles) Uh, huh?!
Gabrielle tries in vain to hit Joxer but ends up jumping into him and knocking him down to the ground.
AMBR: Watch it girl or I'll break you in other ways!
JOXER: No don't worry I'll tame the saucy blonde. (Scoffs) She'll like it, she'll love it... She'll beg for more of it. (Sighs) These two won't be able to keep their lips off me, I can tell.
AMBR: Well I am gonna hafta ask ya' for ten dinars for each woman you understand? (Coughs) That is until you hail some more in here yourself, then they'll be on the house. (Laughs) As many as you can handle, sonny! I'll leave you with these two tonight and bring the other three in about... Noonish?
Joxer pays Ambrose, Joxer then moves closer to Gabrielle. He rubs his hands on her hips for a beat, then backs up so he can see Xena as well.
JOXER: Is that gonna be enough time for both of you? (Winks) You two ladies can have a contest to see which one of you does what to me the best. (Chuckles) You like games don't you? (Sighs) I'm game if you are?
AMBR: Sonny, you have fun. (Walking out) I have things I need to do.
Ambrose leaves, then Joxer unchains Xena.
JOXER: Along the woods just outside of town tied along with the guy I knocked out. I'll explain later.
Xena takes off and leaves Joxer alone with a very angry Gabrielle. He takes off her gag first.
GABBY: Joxer, when I get my hands on you I'm gonna...
Joxer holds the keys up to Gabrielle's face then tosses them back and forth in his hands. She gives him the look and he starts to whistles his theme song.
GABBY: Stop it! (Sighs) Get these off of me or you'll regret it, Joxer!
JOXER: You were saying? (Scoffs) I don't think I heard a please or a thank you?
GABBY: Why you... You! Free me, you dork!
JOXER: Ah, that's big talk coming from a woman I just paid ten dinars for. (Scoffs) I didn't get what I paid for either. (Sighs) So until you're nicer to me...
GABBY: I know ten dinars! (Sighs) I feel so cheap.
JOXER: I would of paid more for you, Gabby.
JOXER: Um?! (Truns red) Well you know what I mean?
GABBY: No?! (Clears her throat) I'm not sure I do! You pay for Meg don't you?
JOXER: Look I didn't have to save you and Xena you know?! I risk my neck and what do I get for it?! (Sighs) Abused that's what! You could be grateful that I saved you from being nothing more than a number that someone calls when they want to... Um, well you know?
GABBY: Yes I know. (Sighs) But you got carried away with what you said and even more so with what you did!
JOXER: It was all just part of my plan.
GABBY: Well tell you what if you free me, we'll call it even alright? (Sighs)
Joxer unchains Gabrielle's legs and arms.
Gabrielle kisses Joxer on the chin, before she runs out of the stable. Joxer rubs her kiss into his skin.
ACT THREE: CHAIN REACTIONS
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