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Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

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ACT SIX: HAY FEVER

Joxer and Gabrielle get to the her folks farm house they find nobody.

GABBY: The festival! (Pauses) I forgot about it.

JOXER: Festival? (Smiles) That sounds like fun, lets go.

GABBY: No. (Sighs) I don't wanna be around a crowd of people.

JOXER: Oh?! (Scuffing his feet, as he whines) What are we gonna do then?

GABBY: I have a much better idea. (In a sexy voice) We'll be all alone the rest of the day, so... Um, follow me. (Walking out side) Come on.

Joxer walks outside and sees Gabrielle going into the barn, he follows her. He enters the barn and sees her leaning over the hay. She beckons him with her index finger. Joxer hits himself in the head, then looks at Gabrielle again and smiles. He takes two steps and falls over a rock. He lands face down in the hay.

JOXER: We're getting hay all over ourselfs.

GABBY: Uh, huh. (Speaking soft and low) Wanna come pick it all off me?

Joxer moves towards Gabrielle and starts picking hay strands out of her hair. She takes his helmet off and kisses him.

GABBY: You better take off your gear too, otherwise it's gonna get mighty loud in here. (Joxer does what he's told) Come here?

JOXER: Yes ma'am. (Kissing Gabrielle she straddles him, as he pants)

GABBY: So tell me Joxer? (Running her hands down his chest to his tummy) Just how bad do you want me?

JOXER: More than anything else in the world. (Gulps) Believe me.

GABBY: Good. (An evil little look comes over her face) Kiss me.

Joxer starts kissing Gabrielle again, they stop and she pulls at the laces on her top. His eyes grow bigger, she bites her bottom lip and bares her shoulders.

JOXER: Uh...Ah...Mmm. (Gulps, turns red and almost passes out) Mommy.

GABBY: I do make you nervous don' t I? (Laughs) You're turning so red.

JOXER: Hum, yeah. (Gabrielle poses sexually and parts her lips) Yeah.

GABBY: What's the matter, Joxer? (Smiles) Too much for you to handle?

JOXER: Um... (Falls down in the hay) Ow! (Sits up) From you, yes.

GABBY: Mmm, you better get use to it. (Kisses Joxer back deep into the hay)

JOXER: What if someone finds us here?

GABBY: Relax Joxer. (Smiles) They won't. This is my family and I know them.

JOXER: What about someone else or Xena?

GABBY: Xena won't be back all day, trust me I know her when she's on a mission.

JOXER: I think we should shut the place up just to be on the safe side.

GABBY: Fine.

Gabrielle sighs and after getting up she shuts all the doors, as Joxer watches her. She latches the last door, turns and looks back at him.

GABBY: Ok? (Walking towards Joxer) One of the doors doesn't lock anymore.

Gabrielle jumps Joxer and pins him down in hay.

JOXER: Hey?! (Gabrielle kisses him) Gabby?

GABBY: Shut up, Joxer.

Joxer felt Gabrielle's hands pulling at his clothes, as she kissed him longer than ever before. Gabrielle pulled so much she tore his shirt a bit, soon he was topless and about to pass out again.

GABBY: Stay with me, Joxer.

JOXER: Do you have any idea what you do to me, Gabrielle?

GABBY: I do now. (Kisses on Joxer's neck and shoulder) Mmm.

JOXER: Oh Gabby! (Gabrielle moves down to his chest) Oh gods - damn!

Joxer lets out a moan, as she goes back up to his neck. Gabrielle hears something at one of the doors, her and Joxer hide as best as they can. Lila walks in and looks around, she sees Joxer's dark hair in the hay. Grabs a pitch fork and pokes the hay.

LILA: Who's there?! (Pauses) I'll run you through!

JOXER: Ow! (Stands up) Stop it.

Lila gasps then is thrilled to see Joxer.

LILA: Joxer?! (A lilt in her voice) Hi! What are you doing here and shirtless?

JOXER: Um, waiting for Xena to come back from her mission.

Gabrielle pulls herself together and stands up.

LILA: Gabrielle? (Pauses) What's going on here?

GABBY: Waiting for Xena. (Smiles) Joxer had a rip in his shirt, so I'm gonna fix it.

LILA: Oh? Well give it to me and I'll fix it. Mom and dad are still at the festival, you know talking to all the people they know. It was a big bore for me.

GABBY: We'll be coming in a few minutes there's a few things I need to talk to Joxer about. (Smiles) Ok?

LILA: All right. (Clears her throat) I'll be starting dinner soon, leek soup and chicken. (Looks at Joxer) Anything else I can get for you?

GABBY: That will be enough, sister dear.

JOXER: That sounds... (Moving his arms out forward) Just fine, Lila.

Lila walks out, as Joxer and Gabrielle both sigh.

JOXER: That was close.

GABBY: Yes, but I should be able to talk my mom and dad into having us for the night. (Smiles) Now if we can talk Xena into it. (Joxer is confused) Joxer?!

JOXER: Why?

GABBY: Because Xena will sleep in my old bed and I'll say I want to sleep by the fire place. You'll be out here resting in the hay, that is until I come out here to join you. (Giggles) Get it?

JOXER: Ah, you're so smart. (Hugs Gabrielle) Then we'll be all alone?

GABBY: By the gods I sure hope so! (Sighs) I wanna be alone with you.

JOXER: I'll ask Xena. (Crosses his arms) I'll just make her feel guilty about you.

GABBY: That'll work. (Kisses Joxer) I have plans for you mister. (Giggles) Mmm.

JOXER: We better go in now. (Walking out with Gabrielle)

GABBY: We gotta get this hay off ourselves.

Lila has everything cooking, as Joxer and Gabrielle come in the door. They sit right next each other, Lila comes and sits right next to Joxer on the other side of him.

LILA: It'll be a while, so we can all talk I guess. (Sighs) Catch up with each other.

GABBY: Yeah, we can do that. (Joxer leans on the table) How is everything.

LILA: The same as always and you? How's things with you, tell me everything.

Lila grabs Joxer's knee, but he thinks it's Gabrielle so he turns and smiles at her.

JOXER: Gabby, that might not be a real good idea right now. (Sighs) You know.

Joxer moves his eyes around, as Gabrielle wonders what he's even getting at. As he feels the hand on his knee going up more and more. Joxer's mouth dropped open.

GABBY: What in the name of Tartarus is wrong with you, Joxer?

JOXER: Oh yeah like you don't know. (Blushes and chuckles) You're getting very close to the fork in the road, Gabby. (Whispers) Not while your sister is here.

GABBY: What? (Lifts one of her arms to her head) Excuse us Lila, me and Joxer need to talk in the other room.

LILA: Not a problem. (Sighs) I'll just be here cooking.

Lila puts both her hand on top of the table, just as Gabrielle stands up. Joxer gets up and follows her to the bedroom.

JOXER: You just can't wait can you? (Kisses Gabrielle) You naughty little Bard.

GABBY: Keep acting like this and I can, forever. (Sits on the bed) Don't be such a...

JOXER: Oh so we are back to that again? (Scoffs) You're the one putting your hand on my knee and almost all of the above. (Chuckles) Not that I mind, but your sister was sitting right there with us and...

GABBY: And my sister was the one who did that to you. (Paces) I just sat there the whole time, holding my hand in my lap... not yours. She's gonna be a problem.

JOXER: I know. (Sits next to Gabrielle) She was starting to give me one.

GABBY: Ew, Joxer! (Hits Joxer) She's my sister!

JOXER: Well I didn't know it was her. (Sighs) I thought it was you, that's why I...

GABBY: Ok, ok, just don't say it again. Please?

JOXER: Just calm down.

GABBY: I think you better do the same thing, Joxer.

Joxer stands up and helps Gabrielle to her feet, they then walk out and sit at the table. With the two sister sitting together and Joxer by Gabrielle. Lila patched the tear in joxer's shirt, he put it on. They all sat there and talked small talk for awhile, then ate.

GABBY: This sure beats my cooking.

LILA: How about you Joxer? (Suggestively) Do you like the way I cook?

JOXER: You're both very good at cooking. (Eats) Mmm, mmm!

LILA: Well feel free to come by anytime you want any.

GABBY: I think he's had enough, gods knows I have. (Pauses) Joxer?

JOXER: Yeah, save some for others and all that.

Soon the women's mother and father came home.

MOM: Sweetheart?! (Gasps and hugs Gabrielle) Joxer, nice to see you again. So where is your friend Xena?

DAD: Gabrielle? (Nods at Joxer) Joxer.

JOXER: Sir. (They shake hands, as he stands up) Oh ma'am, you know Xena save this person and go on that mission.

DAD: Hum. (Walks to the hallway) Well you young people carry on I'm going to bed. (Walks out of sight)

MOM: Why don't you and your friends stay the night?

LILA: Oh please say yes, Gabby?! Joxer I can make you a place in the barn.

GABBY: Ok, Xena can sleep in Lila's and my room. I can sleep out here by this wonderfull fire. (Laughs) I'll help Joxer with his place in the barn, Lila and when Xena gets here you can help her out.

Joxer and Gabrielle go outside and walk to the dimly lighted barn. Once there they kissed like crazy, then Gabrielle rans to the door.

GABBY: I'll see you later tonight then, so you better get some rest.

JOXER: Uh, oh... Should I be worried? (Puts his hands on his hips) Gabby?

Gabrielle raises an eyebrow as she leaves without a word, she heads towards the house fast. Joxer smiles and then lays down in the hay, he sits back with a sigh.

ACT SEVEN: HAY YOU

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