Where You Go, I Go

Disclaimers:

The characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Janice and Mel are owned by MCA/Universal and no copyright infringement is intended by this work.

This piece is essentially an "alt" adventure with some hurt/comfort. The depiction of the physical intimacy between the heroines is left mostly to the reader's imagination. As in most X:WP fanfiction there is some violence and peril to the main characters, but I'm not one to go in for reading too much gore much less writing it so it's kept to a minimum.

I have to give special thanks to my editor, Benet, an absolute gem I discovered through Lunacy's beta reader registry, whose extraordinary patience and editing prowess has resulted in dramatic improvement to this piece. (Thanks, Benet, for all your help!!!)

Where You Go, I Go

by Yellowjacket
sarahd@dimacs.rutgers.edu

Part 4 of 5

It took Janice almost an hour to locate a fresh water spring. The small stream, trickling almost invisibly through the vegetation, would have escaped her notice if it hadn't been for the wild pigs who were themselves imbibing in a small puddle when Janice thrashed out of some bushes. They squealed indignantly at the intruder then ran into the foliage but not before having brought Janice's attention to the life saving liquid.

Janice followed the trickle back to its source and fell to her knees at the generously-flowing font gurgling out of the ground. Waves of relief passed over her as she collected the water then ran it through the filter and into the canteens. For the first time that day she drank, feeling the cool liquid revitalizing her body and her spirit as she thirstily chugged the cool water. Hastily, she topped off the canteen she'd been drinking from and gathered up her things and ran back to Mel with three precious canteens dangling from her shoulder.

It was mid afternoon when Janice got back to Mel. She was sleeping deeply and reluctantly Janice woke her lover, needing to get them moving again.

With intense effort and Janice's help, Mel struggled to her feet. "Oh my," she exclaimed as she weaved unsteadily where she stood. "Janice, I don't know how much further I can go."

Janice wrapped an arm around Mel's waist to steady her. "We'll go as far as you can. Any distance we cover today is that much less we have to cover tomorrow."

Mel caught her lover in an open steady gaze. "And if we don't make it to the river tomorrow there's not much hope for me left," she replied honestly.

"We'll make it tomorrow. If I have to carry you out of this accursed jungle, we'll make it tomorrow," Janice vowed as they staggered along.

It was late afternoon when they happened upon an area of trampled vegetation. "This is where we camped the first night," Janice declared. "We're only half-a-day's walk from the river."

"Half a day if you didn't have to drag me with you," Mel corrected glumly.

"But Mel, even with your impaired condition we should be able to make it there tomorrow," Janice tried hopefully.

Mel sagged to the ground, shaking her head sadly. "I don't know, Janice. I haven't got much left....and it seems like such a long way to go." Tears were streaming down her face.

Janice fell to the ground beside her companion and wrapped her arms around her. "It'll be ok. I know you can make it," she encouraged. "Just hold on Mel, one more day. I promise we'll reach the river. Don't give up, not after we've come this far."

Mel melted into a sobbing wreck in Janice's arms. Exhaustion, pain and fear had taken their physical and mental toll. Janice held the sobbing woman in her arms, rocking her gently and stroking her back. "It'll be ok, Mel. Everything'll be ok," she whispered soothingly.

After several minutes, Mel quieted and Janice eased her hold. "I think we should camp here. It's getting late and we won't get much further today anyhow."

With swift precision Janice worked at setting up the camp. Mel was issued another pain pill and ensconced in the tent to rest until dinner was ready.

By the time dinner was served Mel could hardly sit up on her own due to fatigue and the strong drug she had taken. Janice sat behind her, supporting her with her body while she ate. She could feel the heated fever in Mel's body and the uncontrollable trembling. Janice's heart was in her throat as she held her lover and agonized to herself that there was nothing she could do.

Mel put down her tin dinner plate and fork. "I can't eat anymore."

Janice glanced at the plate. "Mel, you hardly ate a thing."

"I know. But it's making me nauseous. I just can't eat it."

"Hey, I understand. We both know I'm a rotten cook."

Mel sighed deeply. "No, it's not that..."

"I know, Mel. I was only kidding." Janice helped Mel to lie down. She whisked the offending food away and returned with a canteen and another morphine pill.

"Not yet, Janice." Mel refused the pill. "I just want to talk with you a little while, without the drug fogging me up." She patted the bedroll beside her and Janice laid down as directed, pulling her body close to Mel's and laying on her side with her head resting on one hand so she could look down at Mel who was lying on her back.

"In the event that I don't make it there's some things I want you to know..." Mel began bravely.

"Mel..." Janice started to protest but was silenced when Mel's fingers touched her lips.

"Please, Janice, let me speak. I need to do this."

Seeing the intensity in Mel's blue eyes, Janice melted. "All right."

"The last two years have been the best part of my life. There's not a thing I'd change about them... except maybe I'd have ducked when Santos shot that gun," she grinned a little sorrowfully. "From the moment I saw you in Macedonia I knew you were the one for me... I knew that I loved you. I couldn't believe at first that you could love me like I loved you. I was so weak and prissy and scared all the time. I thought it wasn't really me you were attracted to but the side of me that had been Xena for those few hours."

Janice was stunned. "No, Mel!" A deep ache started in her heart. "It wasn't like that at all! I loved you for the warmth and tenderness and decency you brought to me, for the way you looked beyond a gruff, distant facade and saved me from my own misery. I couldn't understand why you stayed, why you put up with someone so harsh and critical... I couldn't believe that you could love me and I lived in fear that one day you'd leave."

Mel lifted a hand to Janice's face and stroked her cheek with her finger. "I remember living with the same fear... that you'd tire of me and send me away. But there was one day when all my doubts were vanquished and I knew how much you loved me..."

"Bengal," Janice whispered, knowing the exact time and place her own such fears had been vanquished.

"Yeah, Bengal... you jumped in and fought that tiger with your bare hands, and I saw you put my life ahead of your own. How could I have any doubt after that?"

"I knew by the look on your face and the trembling of your hand in mine as the doctor sewed up my injuries. I knew then that I could give you my heart because you had given me yours. I never once questioned your love again."

"So I suppose that tiger kind of did us a favor, attacking me like that. It made us both put aside our fears and ultimately trust in each other."

Janice snorted. "Yeah, some favor -- he almost killed me."

They quieted for a moment, each lost in reverie.

Mel caught Janice's hand in hers and locked a steady gaze on her lover's green eyes. "I want you to promise me something."

"Anything, my love," Janice whispered.

"If I don't make it, I want you to move on... to find someone else. I don't want you spending the rest of your life alone."

Janice's expression changed to sharp anger. "Stop it, Mel. You're going to make it. I won't even consider that you won't."

"Janice, I just need to know that you'll be ok..." Mel spluttered.

"There's only one way I'll be ok, and that's if you are with me. So just drop that notion right now and focus on living because tomorrow we're going to be out of this jungle. That is something I will promise you. Now I want a promise from you... promise me you won't give up, no matter what it takes tomorrow you won't give up."

Mel could see the fierce determination in her lover's eyes. "I promise, I won't give up," she vowed with every last fiber of her being.

Janice smiled broadly. "That's my girl." She leaned in for a tender kiss to seal their pact.

After savoring several gentle kisses, Janice pulled back. "You'd better get some rest, you'll need all the strength you can muster tomorrow."

Without further protest Mel downed another pain pill then lay quietly in Janice's arms until she drifted off to sleep. When Janice was sure Mel was out she moved to her post beside the campfire and sat exhaustedly on a rock beside the fire.

Janice considered the promises they had exchanged. She had promised to get Mel out of the jungle the next day. After two straight nights of minimal sleep her own stamina was severely impaired. A third night of sleep deprivation would surely weaken her more, just when Mel needed her most.

She mentally kicked herself at her self pity when she considered Mel's condition. Her partner had a bullet in her shoulder which was causing her significant pain, and still she marched on. A fever that sapped her strength and the clarity of her mind and still... What right did she have to complain because she was a little tired?

It was clear that Mel had little strength left. And Janice knew as fatigued and exhausted as she felt she didn't have much energy left to offer her partner in support. A wave of despair hit her hard as she realized her own inadequacies and the egotistical folly of her promise. Tears started streaming down her face as she emotionally crumbled and she fell to her knees and spread her arms in helpless supplication to the sky. "Please," she begged. "If there is a god out there, help us...help her. Don't let her die...please...don't let her die." Janice crumbled to the ground, sobbing in uncontrollable agony.

"It'll be ok," a warm voice spoke as a gentle hand touched her shoulder.

Janice started at the voice and touch, snapping her eyes to the face that hovered over her. Now she knew she was in trouble. She was losing her mind, for the face that she saw looked exactly like her own.

"It'll be ok," the voice soothed again. "Sit up," it urged with a gentle tugging on Janice's arm.

The archaeologist responded to the direction but was unable to speak. In the corner of her eye another figure registered and she cast her glance on the figure and found her sanity take yet another forceful hit. "Mel?"

The figure shook her head and smiled warmly. "No, Janice. I'm..."

"Xena!" Janice finished and whipped her head back to the woman that looked like her. "Gabrielle!"

The bard wiped the remnants of tears from her descendants face and smiled. "Hi, Janice, it's good to finally meet you."

The archaeologist blinked, her mind reeling off in a hundred directions at once.

"We're here to help." Xena moved to Janice's side and helped Gabrielle lift the befuddled archaeologist to her seat on the rock.

"You're dead... How?..."

Gabrielle tried to explain. "We'd been watching over you two since this whole thing started and we managed to talk Hades into letting us out of the underworld for a little while."

Janice shook her head in disbelief. She was hallucinating. She had to be..."Hades let you out?"

"At first he wasn't going to, but we promised to do him some favors, so he cut us a deal."

"You're doing favors for the god of the underworld," Janice echoed, trying to keep up with the incredible story her mind was weaving.

"Yeah. With this war on in the mortal realm there's this backlog of souls who have to be processed and judged and sent to the Elysian Fields or Tartarus. Honestly, the line stretches on for eternity. Hades is swamped with work. So I'm going to help him with the paperwork... prepare case briefings on the good and bad people have done, record their judgment and reward or punishment. And there's just constant reports that have to be submitted to the other gods. Weekly and monthly status reports to Zeus, quarterly and annual reports to the pantheon of gods. Hades snapped it up when I told him I'd help out."

Janice's dazed look landed on Xena. "And what favor are you doing for Hades?"

"They're expecting the warlord who's causing all the trouble to show up soon..."

"Hitler?"

"Yeah, that's the one," Xena said with disgust. "Him and some of his top men are expected and that's going to create pandemonium. I'm helping out by taking over security... crowd control so to speak. Also, I'm going to try to come up with some suggestions on punishments for that lot. Hades is too distracted by the workload to give it the attention its due."

"I see." Janice nodded and smiled, amused by the rational sounding explanations offered by her delusions.

"We can't stay for long, just tonight. We thought we could guard the camp and tend the fire so you can rest," Xena proposed.

"So you just crawl in beside Mel and get yourself a good night's sleep. You're gonna need all your strength to get through tomorrow," Gabrielle encouraged.

Janice frowned at her hallucinations. "I don't think so. This is my responsibility to take care of Mel. I won't let her down. I won't abandon my post. It's all my fault that things are like they are. I got her into this and I'll get her out of it."

"Now Janice, you can't be this stubborn. You need your rest because Mel's going to need your help tomorrow," Gabrielle persisted.

Janice shook her head. "No hallucination is getting me to budge from this spot."

Gabrielle and Xena exchanged frustrated looks. Xena approached the archaeologist and sat beside her on the rock. Idly she plucked the machete from where it dangled off Janice's belt, studying the odd blade and making a few test swipes through the air. "Funny design for a sword... awfully short and wide. What are its advantages in a fight?"

"Xena, do you always have to talk shop?" Gabrielle chastised her lover with a disapproving look.

"That's ok," Janice assured her. "It's not a sword. It's called a machete and it's not really a weapon. It's a tool for cutting through thick vegetation," she explained.

Xena examined the blade. "Be a heck of a lot better if you sharpened it," she advised.

"Yeah, well, we haven't had much time to take care of things like that in the last couple of days."

Xena held the machete out to Janice who leaned closer to take the blade. In a blur of motion Xena's fingers jabbed expertly at Janice's throat. The archaeologist slumped forward to be caught and held by Xena's strong arms. "Time to visit Morpheus," Xena said laconically.

"Xena! Ya didn't have to pinch her!"

"Hey, she wasn't going to give in easily. She thinks we're just hallucinations from her exhaustion. Best to just put her to sleep and avoid the argument altogether. Now give me a hand and let's get her to someplace more comfortable."

Together they carried the unconscious form to the tent and laid her gently beside Mel, pulling a sleeping bag over her for warmth. Gabrielle studied the tent with interest. "Sure would have been nice to have one of these tent things back when we traveled," she remarked.

"Yeah, pretty good idea. Why didn't we think of it?"

They exited the tent and Xena moved to add fuel to the fire, sending the flames bursting high and throwing a soft light in a ring around the campsite.

Gabrielle sat on the ground by the rock, using the rock as a back rest. She pulled a parchment, quill and ink from her shoulder bag and settled down in a familiar pattern from long ago.

Xena picked up the machete that had fallen to the ground. She sat on the rock behind her lover. "Sure wish I had a sharpening stone," she grumbled as she examined the dull blade.

Gabrielle fished around in her bag and produced a small coarse stone and handed it to her partner.

"Gabrielle, you saved a rock," Xena asked incredulously.

The bard shrugged. "What can I say? I'm hopelessly sentimental. I saw you use that stone a thousand times... when I saw you throw it out I retrieved it... I don't know why, it just seemed a part of you that I wanted as a keepsake."

Xena grinned then leaned down and kissed the top of her partner's head. "You're too much."

Gabrielle smiled warmly at her partner then turned to her parchment, savoring the familiarity of a campfire, the night sky above them, the sharp tang of stone on metal, and the company of the woman she loved.

Just after dawn Janice woke with a start and bolted upright, her hand rubbing at a sore spot on her neck. "Damn it, how could I have let myself fall asleep like that?" She headed outside to see a healthy blaze in the campfire. "Guess I wasn't out very long," she sighed in relief.

Janice headed back into the tent to wake her partner. "Mel," she called softly, "time to get up. Come on we have to get moving."

Mel's eyes fluttered open and Janice could see a dull look of pain and a residual stupor from the drugs in the gentle blue eyes. "I'm awake," Mel responded, trying to focus her foggy brain on her partner. Her body felt like lead, every joint felt stiff and achy. "How about helping me get started?"

Janice slipped an arm under Mel's shoulder then helped her to sit up, waiting a few seconds till Mel was ready to try standing before guiding her to her feet. "I'll be better once I get moving. Just need to get the muscles warmed up."

"I know, love, take your time. I just want to get you up so you can shake off the sleep while I make breakfast."

Mel patted her partner's hand appreciatively, then headed out of the tent and stepped into the woods to relieve herself. When she emerged from the woods she found Janice's eyes appraising her stiff, unsteady movements. The deep concern in her partner's eyes told her she looked as awful as she felt.

Mel settled herself on the rock near the campfire and watched Janice prepare a breakfast of powdered eggs and campfire biscuits. Her gaze took in the taut lines of worry etched on her partner's face, yet somehow Janice looked surprisingly refreshed, as if she'd finally gotten some rest. 'Thank goodness, she's gonna need to be strong enough for us both,' she thought.

Janice glanced towards Mel as she cooked. "I had a heck of a dream last night," she started conversationally. "I dreamt that Xena and Gabrielle showed up here."

Mel smiled at the pleasant thought.

"We talked for a while. They said they were here to help. Then Xena hit me with some kind of jab to the neck that put me out." Janice's hand moved to her throat. "Funny, it kind of hurts where she jabbed me in my dream."

"It sure would be nice if they really could come and help us," Mel replied wistfully, her hands occupied with the machete she'd picked up when she sat down on the rock. "But it's just the two of us."

Janice's gaze landed on the machete and she noticed the clean scoring of the blade. She pulled the blade from Mel's hands and examined the edge more closely. It was razor sharp.

Mel noticed an odd look on Janice's face as she flipped the blade around in her hands. "What's the matter?"

Janice shook her head in consternation. "In my dream...Xena remarked how dull the blade was... all the nicks and stains are gone and it's razor sharp, as if it'd just been honed."

"What are you saying, Janice?"

"Maybe it wasn't just a dream," Janice said, incredulous at her own words. "That would explain why I feel so rested, I slept the whole night... and they tended the fire... and sharpened the machete..."

Mel regarded her usually skeptical partner with surprise. "Well, if that's the case we owe them our thanks," she said in placid acceptance of the explanation.

At Janice's insistence Mel managed to eat the tasteless eggs and biscuits put before her. She felt a little better with food in her stomach and though her head pounded from the fever and her shoulder throbbed constantly, she was determined to proceed on her own two feet without assistance from her lover.

In a familiar ritual, Janice changed the bandage over Mel's wound. She did not comment this time over the rampaging infection. Janice cleaned the wound as gently as possible, then layered the last of the fresh gauze on, taping it in place before rebuttoning Mel's shirt and helping her into her sling. She finished the procedure with a kiss and patted Mel's knee. "Ready to go," Janice asked.

Mel blinked in surprise. "But the tent and camp stuff aren't packed."

"We're leaving it," Janice responded. "It'll only slow us down if I have to carry it and help you too."

"But what if we don't make it out of the jungle today?"

"We will, Mel. We have to." The serious expression on Janice's face conveyed Janice's thoughts about the wound... they were running out of time, they may not have another day.

"I'm ready," Mel said, standing with only the slightest of wavers.

Janice picked up two canteens and her rifle and slung them over her neck. She picked up her machete and turned to face her enemy -- the jungle that lay between them and safety.

The weather was merciful for once. At eighty degrees and a lower humidity, it was far less debilitating then the last three days of their ordeal. Mel grittily walked for half-hour shifts between their rest stops. Their progress was slow, but each step seemed like a small victory as they made their way through the jungle that had seemed so exotic on their journey in... yet so nightmarish on their journey home.

As morning gave way to afternoon Mel began to totter unsteadily. She tripped over a tree root and went down hard, gasping in agony at the pain shooting through her shoulder. Tears streaked down her cheeks and pinpricks of light exploded behind her tightly shut eyes. Janice cradled Mel in her arms, powerless to do anything to help.

When Mel finally was able to breathe normally she opened her eyes to see the panicked expression on Janice's face. "That was a bad one," she wheezed in understatement, her brow furrowed in pain.

Janice wiped the beads of sweat from Mel's brow with a bandana. "I know, love. Maybe you'd better take a pain pill."

"Let's wait a few minutes, see if it eases up. I'd rather not take the pill, it'll make me dizzier and fog up my brain."

Janice moved to make them both more comfortable, sitting quietly with Mel's head resting in her lap. Her heart ached at the torment her soulmate bore and the fear that the tides had just turned against them again just when things had been looking in their favor for once. She closed her eyes and fought for control as a single tear threaded its way down her cheek.

Mel opened her eyes and looked up at her lover, sensing the anguish behind the tear. She reached up with her good hand, brushing it away." Don't give up yet, love," she whispered. Her partner's eyes flicked open and locked painfully with her own. "I promised you, Janice. I said I wouldn't give up... I expect the same from you."

"Mel, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault... all my fault. I got you into this and I swear I'll get you out of it and then I'm never going to let anything happen to you again. I don't know right now how I can do that, but I know you'll never be hurt because of me again," she vowed as a steady stream of tears flowed.

Mel could feel the trembling emotions in her partners body. "Janice, please don't fall apart now. I know how tired you are, but blaming yourself isn't going to help us." She grabbed Janice's hand and held it tight. "I need you to be strong. We can do this... together we can do anything."

Janice struggled to regain control, ashamed to have let her despair get the better of her. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself. "I'm ready when you are."

Mel smiled reassuringly. "Let's see if we can get going again. Help me up."

As soon as Mel was on her feet she nearly collapsed from the pain in her shoulder. Janice helped her to a fallen tree to sit. The grimace on her face and short gasps for breath testified to the worsening of her condition. "Pain pill," Mel requested through clenched teeth, succumbing to the fiery jolts in her shoulder.

Twenty minutes later, Mel's breathing had eased, her body relaxed against Janice's. Her head was swimming and her vision was all fuzzy again but the powerful narcotic had greatly diminished the pain. "Mel, we gotta get moving," Janice coaxed regrettably.

Mel focused on the muffled sound of Janice's voice. "I promised I wouldn't give up, and I won't. Let's try it again." Mel struggled to her feet. She took a few tentative steps then looked blearily at Janice. "This is gonna suck." She teetered backwards and Janice was instantly at her side to steady her.

"How's the pain," Janice asked anxiously.

Mel thought for a foggy moment. "It's there, but kind of distant," she tried to explain. "I can deal with it."

Despite her exhaustion and pain and the effect of the drugs, Mel's mind focused on one thought which kept driving her along... 'I won't give up, I promised Janice that I won't give up.' "Let's go."

Their progress was now slower than before. Mel could not walk unsupported and Janice now struggled with one hand wrapped firmly around Mel's waist and the other working to push back leaves and branches so they could get through. They pushed forward in fifteen-minute intervals.... walk... rest... walk... After several hours the drug began to wear off and Mel reluctantly took another. Now it took more than a steadying hand to keep her moving, and she leaned heavily on Janice as they staggered through the thick brush.

By late afternoon Janice was feeling another knot of helpless despair which she refused to let her lover see. Her mind focused miserably on one thought drumming louder and louder in her brain... 'It's all my fault. She's gonna die and it's all my fault.'

The shadows lengthened as early evening approached. Janice felt Mel stumble and found herself practically holding the woman up. She eased her gently to the ground where Mel lay heaving and trembling. Her eyes were dilated and unfocused and Janice's anxieties hit an all time high.

"I can't go on," Mel moaned. "Leave me here. I'm begging you, just leave me here."

Janice slid to the ground beside her partner, her arm wrapped gently over her waist. "I can't leave you, love. Remember that policy of yours? 'Where you go, I go?'... it works both ways. You give up now and I'll stay here with you until I perish too. I can't go on without you."

"If only we knew... how much further," Mel gasped.

"We're so close, Mel, I'm sure of it, so damn close. Remember your promise, you said you wouldn't give up."

"Janice, go on ahead, find the raft, come back and tell me how far. If it's really close I'll try, somehow I'll try."

Janice was truly torn. Mel's suggestion seemed to make sense. If she knew for sure how close it was it might be enough to call up one last burst of energy . Then again, it might seem too far in which case she would give up hope. She shuddered at the thought of leaving Mel alone for even a minute but she knew it was something she had to do. The light was fading fast and she needed the light to follow the trail markings that would lead her to the raft.

"All right. You rest up." She leaned in to plant a kiss on Mel's cheek then rose. "I'll be back soon."

Mel's eyes focused for a moment on her partner's face. "I love you," she managed to wheeze.

"And I love you too."

Janice turned and jogged into the brush, moving as fast as her exhausted legs could take her.

Mel lay back and closed her eyes, letting out a deep sigh of release. Her head throbbed and her body ached but she struggled to resist the urge to give into her exhaustion. "I won't give up, Janice. I promise."

Janice nearly stumbled over the very crate she was looking for. She'd been running for about ten minutes when, through an opening in the trees, she spotted a wide river off to her left. With her attention distracted she broke through some bushes and pulled up short, staring wide eyed at the coveted crate and its identical twin sitting next to it.

"Yaaahhhooooo!" Jubilantly, she touched the crate to confirm it was real.

She reversed direction and ran shouting through the jungle. "I found it! Mel! I found it!"

Her lungs felt like they were about to explode but her body thrummed with revitalized energy as she ran. She burst through the foliage to the spot where she'd left Mel and dropped to her knees at her lover's side. "Come on, love, I found it. Ten minutes from here! I found it!" .

Mel wrested her eyes open to focus on Janice's excited face. 'You really found it," she asked in disbelief

"Yeah, Mel. I even touched it just to convince myself that it was real," Janice beamed.

"Well what are you waiting for? Help me up."

Mel struggled to her feet with Janice's help. She leaned heavily on her friend for support and balance. Her knees wobbled and she could do no more then drag her feet along but with her arm wrapped around Janice's shoulders and Janice's arm wrapped strongly about her waist they were able to make agonizingly slow progress. Step by determined step they made their way through the jungle. Sweat coursed down Mel's face and her heart was pounding savagely in her chest but now she knew where the finish line was and there was no way she'd give up.

A half hour later the sun was dropping low and dusk was settling as Janice settled Mel to the ground beside the crate. Her energy was almost totally gone from nearly carrying Mel the final distance and exhaustion called to her to rest for a few minutes but Janice feared if she allowed herself such a luxury she wouldn't be able to get up and finish her mission. She pulled her machete from her side and set to work prying the crate open.

The large rubber raft unfurled from the crate as its confining sides were stripped away. Janice hauled the raft towards the river then stopped in consternation at a bevy of alligators lounging lazily between her and the river. "Sorry guys, I don't have time to go around you," she growled. Pulling her revolver from her belt, she fired shots into the dirt near the amphibians which sent them scurrying into the water.

Janice pulled the raft to the riverbank then returned to the crate for the tank of compressed gas that would inflate the raft. Her hands were shaking from fatigue as she twisted the connectors together then turned the valve that released the gas. Immediately the raft began to fill and its limp form began to take a solid shape.

On the verge of collapse, Janice staggered back to her partner. "Mel, I got the raft ready. We're getting out of here." There was no response. Janice slapped her face lightly. "Mel, come on, wake up. Only a little further, please." Still no response.

Janice looked at the distance from Mel to the raft... nearly 150 feet. She breathed deeply, collecting what little energy she had left. Unable to muster the strength to lift her, she grabbed Mel's legs and dragged her to the raft. With one last Herculean effort she managed to muscle Mel's limp form into the raft then push it off the riverbank and into the gentle current of the river. Janice jumped in and lay down beside her lover. "I promised you I'd get you out of that damn jungle today," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around Mel then yielded to her exhaustion.

Janice woke to find a mind numbing whiteness about her. The ceiling was white...the walls white....the sheets equally...white. She blinked hard, trying to pull her mind together enough to comprehend where she was. A sharp pain of recall tore through her mind. "Mel!" Bolting upright, she called out her lover's name.

The nurse ran to her side. "It's ok, Dr. Covington, you're ok." she reassured, pressing Janice back down to the bed.

"Where's Mel? My partner... where is she?" Janice demanded frantically.

"She's being taken care of," the nurse soothed as she hit the call button to summon help.

"How is she? I gotta see her!" Janice tried to rise but in her weak condition she was no match for the nurse.

An orderly entered the room, responding to the summons.

"Calm down, Dr. Covington. You can't do your friend any good. She's being taken care of." The nurse struggled to hold the squirming patient down. "Mike, better get the restraints. Looks like we're going to have to tie her down."

"Let me go," Janice yelled. "I gotta see her."

The orderly turned to exit the room but bumped into a doctor who was on his way in, overhearing Janice's yells.

"Wait a minute," the doctor ordered. "Let her go."

The doctor took a seat beside Janice. "Let's talk about this calmly. You and your friend were brought in early this morning, about eighteen hours ago--"

"How's Mel? Is she all right," Janice asked impatiently.

"She's in intensive care... she was in pretty rough shape when she was brought in. We had to operate immediately on her shoulder, dug out a bullet, cleaned out the infection... it was close, too close... her heart stopped. We had to hit her with a heavy dose of epinephrine but we got it going again."

"Mel died?!!" Janice's own heart was thumping wildly. "You're telling me she died?!!"

"Well, I guess you could say that, but cardiac failure is what we call it. She's alive and I'm sure she's out of danger. As soon as she's stabilized she'll be moved from intensive care to here." The doctor pointed to the empty bed next to Janice's.

"I want to see her. Please, just for one minute. If you knew what we've been through..."

The doctor frowned. "Oh, I can guess it was pretty rough by the shape the two of you are in." He paused in thought. "I suppose you're not likely to just lay back and relax unless you get to see your friend."

"You got that right."

"Nurse, get a wheel chair up here and take Dr. Covington for a one minute visit with her friend. If she gives you any trouble after that have her sedated and restrained."

"There won't be any trouble," Janice pledged. "Thanks, Doc."

Janice sat in her wheelchair at Mel's bedside, her hand resting on her unconscious lover's arm. Tears streamed down her cheeks at the sight of the ashen face and the myriad of tubes running to needles stuck in Mel's hands. 'She's alive.' Relief washed over her like a tidal wave and the tears were joined by a heartrending sob. "I swear I'll never hurt you again," she vowed.

After two days of convalescence, Janice was discharged from the hospital but it didn't make much difference. Like the two days she'd spent as a patient, the archaeologist spent every moment of the following three days glued to Mel's bedside.

The infection in Mel's shoulder had responded immediately to the new wonder drug, penicillin, and five days of total bed rest and medical treatment had returned a good deal of her strength.

With her returning health, Mel was bored beyond tolerance of the hospital confinement and prevailed on the doctor for her release. Though knowing she had a long flight home to South Carolina, she insisted she was well enough to handle the trip and harangued the physician until he reluctantly agreed to release her the next day. She was anxious to get home, not for her own sake, but for Janice's.

>From the moment Mel had awakened in her hospital bed to find Janice keeping vigil at her bedside she sensed something very wrong with the woman. Granted they'd just been through a harrowing experience and Janice certainly had cause to be upset, but there was a deep sadness that clung to her partner. Yet every time she'd tried to get her partner to talk about what was troubling her, Janice would swear everything was fine. Whatever it was that was bothering her partner, it was clearly very serious -- and the fact that Janice was trying to hide something from her gave Mel an especially bad feeling. She was determined that once she was out of the hospital and they were safe at home she could find out what was wrong.

"You awake?" Janice's soft whisper broke through Mel's thoughts and she opened her eyes, an irresistible smile spreading across her face.

"Hi, love," she glowed warmly at her partner.

Janice leaned down to give Mel a peck on the cheek. Mel frowned inwardly. 'There's another thing... Janice hasn't given me more than a sisterly peck on the cheek... usually with other people around she'll tone it down, but she's avoiding touching me at all...'

Janice took her customary chair next to the bed. "You feeling ok? Still think you're up for the trip home tomorrow?"

Mel studied her partner's somber expression. "Oh, I'm feeling great. I can't wait to get out of here and get home... get things back to normal. Sleep in my own bed... with you." Her crystal blue eyes conveyed a carnal intent.

Janice broke eye contact and fished self-consciously through the pockets of her pants. She cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I got a hold of Bill Killian. I told him the condensed version of what happened. Since we activated the transmitter at the site he's gonna make good on the finder's bonus even though it's pretty unlikely they'll ever recover anything from the site. He turned out to be a pretty honorable fellow after all. Couldn't apologize enough for having stuck us with Santos and everything that happened because of him." She pulled a crumpled itinerary out of her pocket and smoothed it out. "He's arranged some private transportation back home. We leave tomorrow morning from Telas on a direct flight home."

After nearly ten hours of flight time and the short ride home from the airport, Mel was nearly asleep on her feet as she stood on the porch waiting for Janice to unlock the door. Janice guided Mel into the foyer and steered her to the stairs. With a tight hold around her waist, Janice steadied her up the stairs and all the way to the bedroom where Mel collapsed limply to the bed.

"I am exhausted." Mel stated the obvious. "But it is soooo good to be home." She grinned tiredly to her hovering partner.

Janice unlaced Mel's boots and pulled them off. "I'm going to get you settled then go out and get some groceries... we need to restock the perishables." She moved her hands to Mel's blouse and began undoing the buttons, she felt a familiar faint flush of heat as the blouse fell open and revealed Mel's breasts.

Mel snaked a hand up behind Janice's neck and pulled the surprised archaeologist in for a deep kiss... a slow, passionate, loving kiss... the first kiss they shared since leaving the jungle. As tired as she was, the kiss left Mel hungering for more.

Janice pulled back and Mel could see an odd look of confusion in her eyes. The look brought a jolt of concern to Mel. "Janice, what's wrong...I know you've been brooding over what's happened... you've got to talk about it, tell me... please."

Janice pulled away, shaking her head sadly. "It's my problem, I know what I've got to do."

A wave of anxious concern crashed over Mel. 'Finally, at least an admission of that much.' Mel managed to raise herself onto an elbow and fixed a no-nonsense glare on her lover. "I don't think I like the sound of that. I'm your partner. Your problems are my problems. I want to know what's been bothering you. I have a right to know," she insisted.

Janice met Mel's glare with stiff determination. "It's been a hell of a long day... you're tired...I'm tired. Let's let this go until tomorrow. It's getting late and I've got to get to the store before it closes."

"Groceries can wait until tomorrow."

"How am I supposed to make dinner with no milk, butter, bread, eggs..." Janice grumbled.

Mel scowled, unwilling to drop the subject she'd finally gotten broached. "Tomorrow I find out what's been bugging you?"

Janice nodded. "Tomorrow, it'll be over with. I promise you."

Mel eyed her partner suspiciously. "All right, but don't think you're going to get out of this discussion again tomorrow." Mel slipped into the sleep shirt Janice held for her then eased herself tiredly back down to the bed. "Go on, go get your groceries."

Due to Mel's obvious exhaustion Janice had insisted on serving Mel dinner in bed. They had eaten in silence as Mel studied Janice's brooding countenance. Mel was getting more worried, she had hoped that their arrival home would have lifted her lover's spirits. Instead, it seemed to have had the opposite effect. 'She's more sullen than ever.' Mel polished off the last of her meal. "Dinner was really good, love. I hadn't realized how hungry I was."

"There's more in the kitchen if you're still hungry," Janice offered.

"No. I'm plenty full." Mel smiled appreciatively.

Janice started piling their plates on a serving tray. "I'll get this stuff out of here. You should get some sleep. It's been a long day and it's getting late."

Mel caught Janice's arm with her hand. "Can't you just leave that stuff till the morning? Come to bed with me." She asked with a soft appeal in her eyes.

"Mel, I left the kitchen a mess. I have to at least put the food in the refrigerator."

Mel looked hurt at the rejection. "Oh... of course... it's just that as tired as I am I'll probably fall asleep before you come to bed, and... well... I've been looking forward to our first night back home."

Janice felt Mel's words tugging at her heart strings. She wanted nothing more than to join Mel in their bed. Finally, she decided on a compromise, she set the laden tray on the dressing table and lay down on the bed, pulling Mel snugly into her arms. "OK, I'll stay here till you fall asleep, then I'll get the kitchen taken care of."

Mel sighed contentedly as she wrapped her arms around her lover and leaned in to capture her lips in a languid kiss. She was surprised when Janice returned the kiss with an intensity that took her breath away. "Oh my." Mel swooned as her heartbeat fluttered.

On instinct, Mel's hands began to unbutton Janice's shirt, but the archaeologist caught them in her own hands and pulled them away. "You need your rest," Janice rebuked softly.

"I need you more," Mel growled fiercely, pulling her hands out of Janice's and continuing to disrobe her lover while engaging her in a heated kiss.

Janice's resistance collapsed under the weight of Mel's kisses.

Janice lay cradling Mel's sleeping form in her arms. Their lovemaking had been an act of beauty and tenderness and Janice was finding it almost impossible to move. She stroked Mel's cheek with her fingers, memorizing the feel of the soft velvety skin... it was a moment she never wanted to forget, a moment she never wanted to end. But she knew it had to end. It was time to go.

Janice rolled off the bed, catching a glimpse of the clock, noting the time. 2 a.m? She been lying there just holding her sleeping lover for over two hours? The time had passed so quickly...

She padded over to the dressing table to pick up the tray with the remains of their dinner and carried it downstairs where she made short work of cleaning up the kitchen.

She headed back to the bedroom, pulled an empty duffel bag from the closet and proceeded to quietly stuff the bag with clothing. Once the bag was full, she set it outside the bedroom door then returned to the room and sat on the bed next to her lover. She gazed at Mel's face in its gentle repose then bent down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you," she whispered agonizingly. "I will always love you. I'm sorry, Mel, so sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but this is for your own good." Janice pulled an envelope from her pocket and placed it on the night table then stood and walked out of the room without looking back. She grabbed her duffel bag on her way to the stairs. By the time she reached the front hall she no longer bothered wiping the tears which now flowed freely down her face.

Walking out of Mel Pappas' life was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

Part 5 (conclusion)