Where You Go, I Go

Disclaimers:

The characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Janice and Mel are owned by MCA/Universal and no copyright infringement is intended by this work.

This piece is essentially an "alt" adventure with some hurt/comfort. The depiction of the physical intimacy between the heroines is left mostly to the reader's imagination. As in most X:WP fanfiction there is some violence and peril to the main characters, but I'm not one to go in for reading too much gore much less writing it so it's kept to a minimum.

I have to give special thanks to my editor, Benet, an absolute gem I discovered through Lunacy's beta reader registry, whose extraordinary patience and editing prowess has resulted in dramatic improvement to this piece. (Thanks, Benet, for all your help!!!)

Where You Go, I Go

by Yellowjacket
sarahd@dimacs.rutgers.edu

Part 5 of 5

THREE MONTHS LATER:

The ceiling fans spun slowly in their futile effort to cool the smoky room of the crowded, noisy cafe. Off to one side of the room sat an upright piano, played by a husky black man in a formal white dinner jacket. He sang strongly to his own accompaniment in a rough whiskey voice that reeked of soul. The blues he sang seemed both sensual and sad.

Across the room, in a semi-private alcove, four people drank, joked, smoked and played poker. They were an eclectic lot. An older gentleman was dressed dapperly in a formal white dinner jacket, his thinning hair brushed back to reveal a craggy face with deep crows feet from years of squinting around the smoke from an ever-present cigarette. He was an American by birth but a citizen of the world by choice, having traveled extensively throughout his life till he'd won the little Moroccan cafe in a poker game and, for lack of anything better to do, had decided to try to settle down.

The Frenchman wore the crisp blue uniform of an officer of the French foreign legion. He was a dark-haired man with a thin mustache and beady, distrustful eyes that could easily show a mirthful warmth to the few he found worthy of trust. He had offended a superior officer several months before and as punishment was exiled from his plum station in the heart of Paris and was reassigned to the uncultured cesspool of international vermin that was Casablanca. He had reconciled himself to his current station but tried to maintain the level of impeccable grooming and manners more appropriate to his previous assignment.

In contrast to the debonair owner of the cafe and the dandy Frenchman were the other two figures who occupied the table. Both were American archaeologists, tops in their field, and both were world-wise adventurers who could walk into any such establishment anywhere in the world and feel like they belonged there. They each wore short leather jackets, coarse beige shirts, loose gray slacks and rugged boots. The jarring difference between the two was that one was a tall, lanky man who smiled readily and seemed to be always at ease, while the other was a petite woman with striking strawberry blond hair and an attractive, but tense face that held a perpetual scowl.

"The bet's a hundred to you, Janice." Rick drawled, taking another drag off his cigarette .

Through her drunken fog Janice let her gaze land on the blank expression of the man, trying to fathom from his expression what cards he might be holding. Unable to discern anything, she let her gaze swivel to the man who sat across from her -- Louis, the Frenchman, who, she had noted, had a habit of stroking his hand across his thin mustache when he had good cards. His hand lightly brushed across his upper lip and Janice turned her gaze to the player on her right, his soft eyes revealing nothing.

Janice took a long pull on her cigar then puffed out several rings of smoke before crushing the stub out in the overflowing ashtray. She poured a shot of bourbon into her glass, downing it in one gulp then looked back to the four cards she held in her hand and the fifth card which lay face down in front of her. She looked at her meager stack of chips and looked up to her companions. She pushed the last of her chips into the center of the table where a sizable mass of chips already sat. "I'm a little light on this one," she slurred, "but this should make up the difference." She pulled her revolver from the shoulder holster under her jacket and placed it on top of the pile of chips.

The Frenchman snapped up the gun and quickly concealed it under the table. "Janice," he whispered harshly with his lilting French accent, "You know better than to let a firearm be seen in here...you don't want the wrong people to see that," he chastised, his eyes glancing nervously around. He passed the gun under the table to his left and then it was passed back to Janice who sheepishly returned it to its holster.

"But I'm tapped out and I *know* this is where my luck's gonna change," she begged.

The three men exchanged glances, each nodding to an unspoken agreement.

The Frenchman sighed softly, "Cheri, we are friends here. You can play on your marker, we will trust you for it."

Janice filled her glass to the brim and kicked back its contents, grimacing a little at the burn as the hot liquid slid down her throat. She looked to her companions. "That's mighty nice of you guys, but I can't do that. It's not my style. I'll ante up or I'll fold. It's just that I've been havin' this run of bad luck for the last three months but somethin' tells me my luck's gonna change tonight." She poured the last of the bourbon in her glass as she tried to think of what else she had of any value to throw in the pot."

"Aren't you even gonna look at that fifth card," Indy asked softly.

"It doesn't really matter. It is what it is and I either win this hand or I'm gone. We'll all know soon enough."

The men waited patiently. Finally, Rick pointed to the ring on her finger. "How about that ring?"

Janice looked at the ring, feeling a sharp stab of pain clutch her heart, a reaction that in her drunken state she could not keep from playing across her face. She folded her cards and laid them on the table then pulled the ring off her finger, giving it an indecipherable look and finally coming to a decision. "Maybe this will change my luck," she said, laying the ring atop the pile of chips.

Rick picked the ring up and studied it. A simple gold band with a small diamond chip, but definitely worth the money Janice was shy on her bet. He looked to the inside of the band and saw an inscription, 'Two hearts, one destiny - Mel'. He put the ring back in the ante. "That'll do," he said, though he'd have said the same thing even if it hadn't been of sufficient value. "Let's see what we got." Rick laid his cards face up on the table. "Two pair, queens and deuces," he pronounced.

The Frenchman smirked. "My apologies, monsieur Rick." He laid down his cards. "Three jacks."

"Well, Louis, not bad, but then again, not good enough either," Indy stated pointedly as he fanned his cards onto the table. "Full house."

All eyes turned to Janice, who swallowed heavily and gulped down the glass full of bourbon. One by one she slowly turned her cards over. "Four of spades. Five of spades. Six of spades. Seven of spades." she reached to her fifth card, a card which even she did not know, and slid it closer to herself. She paused, closed her eyes and whispered softly, "My luck is gonna change tonight." Her hand hovered over the card. She opened her eyes and suddenly the room began to spin around her as the bottle of bourbon she had consumed caught up with her. Her eyes rolled up and she slumped forward, passed out cold.

The other card players stared at their unconscious companion.

"Well, this is a first. I've known Janice for six years, drank with her lots of times, never saw her even tipsy yet alone dead drunk. Poor kid, whatever's hurtin' her sure must be rough." Indy said with soft concern in his voice. He glanced at the cards and the mound of chips on the table. "Guess we should finish the hand." He reached for Janice's fifth card and flipped it over, it was the queen of hearts. "Well, look at that, the eight of spades. Looks like her luck changed after all." He looked to the other two card players in conspiratorial appeal.

Louis looked back at the card then glanced at Indy, then nodded in understanding. "Yes, a very lucky draw to come up with a straight flush in the clinch," he said, tipping his head in a slight bow in acknowledgement of Indy's generosity.

"It would appear our Dr. Covington is the big winner for the evening," Rick chimed in warmly, completing the pact. "It's a shame she wasn't conscious to see it."

Indy stood and moved to his fellow archaeologist, gently pulling her back up to a sitting position. "I'll get her up to her room." He eased an arm under her legs with another under her shoulders and easily straightened up with the diminutive blond in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder.

Rick picked up Janice's ring from the pile of chips and stood. He walked over to Indy's side and lifted the woman's hand, sliding the ring back from where it had come. He pulled the hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "I'll see that she gets her winnings." He stepped from the alcove and waved a hand at an employee who hurried over to the table. "Cash these out for the good Doctor and see that she gets her winnings in the morning," he instructed. He turned to Indy who waited patiently with his burden. "She's in room 206, follow me." He led the way across the crowded bar, clearing a path for his friends, then leading them up the stairs and down a short hall.

Rick pulled a ring of keys from his pocket and selected one. Being the owner of the establishment he of course had a master key for all the rooms. He opened the door and let Indy by with his inebriated burden.

Gently, Indy laid the young woman on the bed. "Sure wish it was under different circumstances I was carrying her off to bed," he muttered.

Rick patted the man on the back. "I know what you mean my friend. She's pretty special." He glanced compassionately at the unconscious young woman. "Guess we should make her a little more comfortable. She's gonna be one hurtin' puppy in the morning."

Rick worked at removing the young woman's jacket and the shoulder holster while Indy unlaced her boots. "She's sure packin' some heavy heartache, Rick observed quietly.

"Yup. She's got it bad," Indy agreed. "When I found her on that dig in Algeria two days ago she was gettin' the stuffing kicked out of her by a bunch of thugs. They claimed she'd goaded them into a fight and I have to say I think they might have been telling the truth. All that drinking tonight...she's hell bent on punishing herself or maybe even getting herself killed. She's obviously dealing with something very painful, but, of course, she wouldn't tell me what."

Rick looked thoughtful as he pulled a light sheet up over the unconscious woman. "Poor kid. It's gotta be love," he sighed knowingly.

Indy nodded. "Yup, that's what I figure too."

Rick looked sadly on the woman whose face, even unconscious, looked almost grief-stricken. "Indy, she didn't happen to mention someone named Mel, did she?"

The archaeologist shook his head. "No. Why do you ask?"

"There's an inscription in the ring... 'Two hearts, one destiny - Mel.' "

"She never mentioned him. But whoever this Mel guy is, I think he's a fool if he's letting her get away," Indy said as they headed for the door.

"You got that right, my friend," Rick agreed, locking the door behind them.

Three hours later as most of the patrons had left and the bar's atmosphere had settled to a low, hazy buzz. Louis, Indy and Rick sat sharing a last round of drinks before closing when their attention was drawn to a figure just entering the bar.

In Morocco one was used to seeing striking dark-haired beauties, but the woman who passed before them seemed impossibly exotic in that place because she was so obviously American. She wore a simple black sleeveless sheath of mid-thigh length that clung to a body that left them all staring with slackened jaws. Her long, dark hair was pulled back by two filigreed silver combs. She wore low black pumps, but still she would tower over the average native of Morocco. She made her way to the bar and eased herself wearily to a stool.

The bartender approached the woman and listened to her for a minute He shrugged his shoulders and pointed toward the table in the alcove where the three men sat. She headed across the bar. "Gentlemen, please pardon my intrusion..." She greeted the threesome in a drawl that unmistakably announced she was from the American south. "I'm looking for a friend of mine. The bartender said you might be able to help."

The three men looked at her guardedly. "Won't you have a seat and we'll see what we can do," Rick offered, gallantly pulling an empty chair out for the woman and waving an inviting hand towards the chair. "My name is Rick. I own this place."

"Thank you, Rick," the woman replied, settling herself in the chair.

Rick retook his seat. "You know, many people come to Casablanca because they don't want to be found..." he started, finding himself mesmerized by the haunted soft blue eyes of the woman.

"I... know..." the woman began hesitantly, "but that's not the case... well, maybe it is the case, but I'm sure it's really just a misunderstanding... it just has to be some terrible misunderstanding." She wiped a hand across a tired eye.

"Just who is it you're looking for," Indy asked softly.

"Her name is Dr. Janice Covington. She's an archaeologist. I've been trying to find her for three months. And I heard... well, that she was seen at a dig in Algeria but when I got there they said she'd left the day before. Someone said she was headed to Casablanca, so here I am. This is the twelfth establishment I've been in tonight, I don't think there's anyplace else in Casablanca left for me to look," she finished, an almost desperate exhaustion in her voice, her eyes pleading for help.

The three men exchanged glances.

The woman caught the exchange of looks, and her heart started to pound. "You know her! Where is she?!" Her voice registered excitement as a spark of hope lit her eyes.

"Mademoiselle, we are acquainted with Dr. Covington. She's been known to frequent this establishment from time to time, but she hasn't been here in a while. Perhaps we can tell her you're looking for her if she comes in. Would you care to leave a message," Louis proposed.

The woman sat back, glancing at the noncommittal looks on each of the three men at the table. She figured she had nothing to lose, and she was desperate. She turned pleading eyes to the Frenchman. "Tell her... that Melinda Pappas desperately needs to talk with her... tell her... I'm begging... I...I..." The woman's voice broke in a soft ragged pain. "Tell her... I love her." She paused to regain her composure. "She can leave a message at the American Embassy here in Casablanca, I'll keep checking back." Her eyes again went around to the three men at the table.

Rick and Indy exchanged surprised looks when the woman identified herself. Rick put a gentle hand on the woman's arm. "Ya know, sweetheart, favors in Casablanca don't come cheap. We can get a message to Dr. Covington, but it will cost you." Louis and Indy looked curiously at their friend, but remained silent.

"I've got money. I can pay whatever it takes," she offered without hesitation.

"Well, Miss Pappas, ya know, times being what they are, American money isn't quite the currency of choice around here," Rick drawled, pulling his cigarette case from his pocket and offering her one, which she declined, before he pulled one out for himself.

"Well, I suppose I can get currency exchanged for whatever you would require," Mel offered.

Rick took a long pull on his cigarette, blowing the smoke out slowly. "Well, right now we don't trust in anything but precious commodities, like that ring you wear." He pointed to the gold band with a small diamond chip Mel wore on her left hand.

Mel blinked, absorbing his meaning. "So let me see if I understand you correctly. If I give you this ring you can give me some... assurance... that my message will be delivered?" Mel fingered the ring, a sharp stab hitting her gut at the thought of parting with it.

"There are no guarantees, but I think I can deliver such a message. Of course, there's no way of knowing if Dr. Covington will choose to respond." He took another pull on his cigarette then crushed it out in an ashtray.

It was then that Mel noticed the ashtrays on the table. The one beside Rick held several butts with a thin green ring near the end. The one beside the Frenchman teemed with solid white stubs from unfiltered cigarettes, but the one that sat near her held the remnants of distinctive cigarellos... the kind that Janice smoked. Her heart began to pound loudly in her ears. Without hesitation she pulled the ring off her finger and held it out to Rick. "Consider this a down payment."

Rick took the ring and examined it closely, squinting a little to read an inscription on the inside of the band. "Forever yours - Janice," he read aloud.

Mel flinched a little at the invasion on something so personal but met the eyes of the men at the table in staunch pride. She was surprised to see a soft warmth in the expressions that faced her around the table.

Rick looked to Indy and caught a subtle nod and smiled a broad grin back to his friend in agreement. He reached to take the woman's hand and slipped the ring back on her finger then gallantly kissed the back of her hand. He stood, still holding Mel's hand. "Come with me, you can deliver your message yourself."

Mel nearly overturned the table as she jumped to her feet. She looked in embarrassment at the men but saw only broad, knowing grins. "Ah, l'amour," Louis offered as he righted some toppled items on the table.

"It would appear that Janice was right after all... her luck has changed for her tonight." Rick winked at his companions as he offered an arm to the beaming beauty to escort her across the bar.

They reached the top of the stairs where Rick pulled Mel to a halt. "Miss Pappas, so's you're prepared for what you're about to see, I need to tell you some things."

Mel's eyes grew wide in alarm. "Is she all right?"

"Well, she could be better. She kind of drank a little too much tonight..."

Mel started to breath again. "Oh, well, Janice does that once in a while, she does like to celebrate..."

"Nooooo. It wasn't quite like that, she... well... kind of ... ummm... was feeling sorry for herself and welllll... she drank so much she passed out. She's gonna have a hell of a hangover in the morning."

Mel nodded in understanding then turned to head down the hallway but was pulled back by Rick's grip on her arm. "There's more?" Her voice tinged again with alarm.

"Well, she'd been in a fight recently, well, more like several... she's kind of in rough shape."

"I heard about the fight at the dig in Algeria, I know what to expect." She patted his arm in reassurance, anxious just to get to the woman she loved.

"Ok, then. I just wanted you to be prepared."

Mel gave Rick a hug and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Rick. Thanks for the warning... and taking care of Janice. And give my thanks to Indy and Louis too. I could see just how much they care for Janice."

"You're welcome." He hugged her back then headed down the hall. Stopping before room 206, he fished his keys from his pocket and opened the door, stepping aside to allow her to enter before returning to his companions downstairs.

Mel stood in the dark of the room. She could hear soft snoring that she recognized as that of her lover. Her heart hammered hard and she felt almost lightheaded as the fear and pain she had fought for the three agonizing months she had searched for her lover simply evaporated. Her eyes adjusted to the dark and she saw the outline of a lamp on a table beside the bed. She carefully crossed the room until she reached the lamp and pulled the cord, the room now bathed in a weak, shaded light. At long last her eyes feasted on the face of the woman she loved, but she could not quell the ache deep within her heart.

She sat lightly on the edge of the bed, pulling the sheet covering Janice back to find her fully dressed except for her boots and socks. She ran a tender finger down her left jaw in a familiar caress, but she could see a sunkeness to the cheeks that attested to a significant loss of weight. She brushed the blond hair back from her forehead to find a large purpling bump above her right eye and she winced at the force of the blow that must have caused that. She leaned down and indulged in a soft kiss on the lips that, though not returned, tasted like ambrosia to her.

She kicked off her shoes and slid onto the bed beside the archaeologist. Her hands trembled a little as she unbuttoned the shirt and her eyes immediately landed on a large discoloration covering nearly her whole left side. She leaned down to place a soft kiss on the bruise. "Oh Janice, where have you been? What have you been doing to yourself?" she whispered at her soulmate. Her fingers achingly traced the prominent ribs on the woman. "You must have lost twenty pounds, love," she noted softly.

Mel straddled Janice's hips, pulling her up to strip the shirt away and then reaching behind her to remove her bra. She eased her lover back to the bed and traced a finger over her collarbone in a familiar proprietary act. She stood back up and her hand moved to the belt at her lover's waist, she made short work of the belt, pants and panties, finally having a comprehensive view of the many bruises and cuts that peppered the supple, young body. "At least there's nothing broken," Mel sighed before shedding her own clothing.

Mel laid back on the bed, pulling the sheet up to cover both of them. She rolled onto her side, wrapping an arm around the archaeologist's slender waist and moving close till their bodies were in contact from head to toe. She placed a soft kiss on Janice's cheek then snuggled down to get some sleep. It was the first time in three months that Mel fell asleep without a deluge of tears soaking her pillow.

Janice woke up to a hangover that she was sure should be noted in some record book somewhere. She tried to sit up but a wave of dizziness brutally dropped her back to the bed. She lay there, trying to remember where she was and why she ached so badly. Still groggy, she turned to her side, still expecting to find the warm body of her lover...remembering with a sharp ache that she had given up that pleasure when she had walked out on Mel three months ago... knowing that despite her nightly dreams of a dark-haired companion nestled in her arms, every morning, for the rest of her life, she would wake up...alone.

She opened a bloodshot eye to scan the room, intuiting from what little sun intruded through the dingy blinds that it was early afternoon. She pulled the sheet away from her body and realized with some surprise that she was naked. "Indy? Rick? Louis?" She shook her head, refusing to believe that one of her friends might have taken advantage of her. The head shake wasn't a good idea, it made her hurt more and she lay back down with her eyes closed until the colors stopped flashing in her head.

Footsteps in the hall stopped in front of her door and she listened as a key turned in the lock, the door was pushed quietly open and then closed and someone crept softly towards the bed. Janice waited, not revealing her conscious condition, to see what the intruder intended to do. She sensed the figure leaning over the bed and then sprang into action, wrapping an arm around the intruder's neck she used surprise to pull them across her body onto the bed and continued the roll until the intruder was laying with their back on the bed and Janice sitting atop them, her arms pinning the intruder's over their head.

Now in control, Janice finally got a look at the intruder. "Mel?!!" Gasping in baffled surprise, she bolted upright releasing the woman's arms but still straddling her hips, her mind reeling, her aching body protesting the sudden violent activity. Mel wore a light linen robe, her hair was wet and she had obviously just returned from having a bath. In the flurry of activity the robe had opened a little revealing a tantalizing glimpse of a breast that sent a warm excitement through Janice. 'It wasn't a dream, she was in bed with me last night.'

"Don't stop now, it was just gettin' good," the southerner purred with a lascivious grin.

Janice blinked then realized that she was as naked as the day she was born. Confused, she tried to move away but was held in place by Mel's hands at her waist. Hands that sent a familiar shiver through her body just by being in contact with her skin. She closed her eyes and for a moment indulged in the contact. Mel's hands began to move, slowly inching towards Janice's breasts but diverting away at the last second and instead reaching up around the archaeologist's neck to pull her down until their lips met in a soft kiss that deepened into a languid assault on the senses. Janice felt her heart pound as she began to fall to the sensual thrall that could be caused by no one other than Melinda.

Mel broke the kiss and began a slow descent of her lover's body, trailing light kisses across the collarbone, running her fingers slowly over the velvet soft skin of her stomach. Her hands continued a gentle, urgent exploration and Janice felt her body's hot response to the touch. Mel's mouth pursued its own quest, roving slowly over Janice's flesh and leaving a tingling trail of excitement in its wake. Janice groaned and Mel felt an answering wave of desire surge through her body, she moved her hands to Janice's hips and pushed lightly to roll her onto her back on the bed with Mel on top without breaking contact between her mouth and the soft flesh she was feasting on.

Janice's body was aflame. Mel's hands singed her where ever she touched. She felt an almost electric charge pulse from her lover's mouth and tongue. She was on the brink of total erotic abandon when her brain rudely intruded, jerking her back from the precipice of nirvana. "Mel, stop," she gasped raggedly. "Please, Mel, this isn't right."

Janice's words slammed through Mel's sexual haze and she felt a rush of despair. Her hands stopped where they were and she held still for a moment before she rolled off of Janice and lay heaving on the bed with her eyes closed, waiting for her pulse to drop and some semblance of control to return. "I'd never force myself on you. If you don't want me..." Agony drenched her words.

"Oh God, Mel," she moaned. "I want you... I want you so much I can barely breathe from wanting of you," she confessed achingly. . She sat at the edge of the bed, cradling her head in her hands. Her hangover seemed to be gone, but in its place was an overwhelming pulsing in her head and in her heart and throughout her body... a pulse of pain and excitement and love and joy all associated with the woman that possessed her very soul.

Mel struggled to her knees and crawled across the bed to kneel behind Janice. "Then tell me why we can't be together. Tell me why you left me." There was a tinge of anger threaded in her tone. "Tell me why you just left me that damn note... Janice, ya didn't even give me the courtesy of telling me to my face..."

A painful quiet settled between them as Janice tried to get her bearings. Finally, she found her voice, shaky though it was. "Because I knew I'd never be strong enough to leave you if I faced you," she confessed, unable to bring herself to look at her lover. "I thought it would be easier for the both of us if I did it that way."

Mel's voice turned harsh. "Well you're not getting away with that, Janice. If you want to walk away you'll have to face me first. There's no taking the easy way out. But let me tell you this, I intend to fight for you... for us." Mel reached a hand to caress her lover's shoulder. "And I'll use every advantage I have to win."

Janice rose to escape the irresistible pull of Mel's touch. It was difficult enough to resist her when she was so close but the mere touch of her hand was a siren's song that would dash them both to a thousand pieces on love's rocky shoals. She fled the touch, grabbing random pieces of her clothing from the pile on the floor. She willed her eyes not to stray towards the beautiful woman who offered herself so completely to her. "I think you should get dressed. We'll talk." Janice said as she laced up her boots, her eyes glued to her shaking hands.

Mel sat back on her heels, a quiet resolve settling over her. "All right, whatever you want." She got off the bed and found her clothes heaped on a chair. It took her but a minute to slip into her undergarments and then slide into the black dress she was wearing the night before. She forewent the combs in her hair, leaving the long silky tresses hanging loosely across her shoulders in the way that drove Janice wild.

Janice finally looked up from her boots to see the vision that was Mel dressed in the black dress. She swallowed hard, completely undone that the woman who had been so overwhelmingly desirable in the nude was now even more irresistible with clothes on. Her eyes were riveted to the hem of the dress which came only to mid-thigh. An image tore through Janice's mind of her hand slowly sliding up that silky thigh and under the dress to the treasure that waited there for her to take, knowing that Mel would be reduced to erotic rapture in a matter of seconds. She struggled to push the powerful imagery from her mind.

Mel caught Janice's hungry eyes devouring her body. She felt a longing tremble through her body at the lusty look. "You're dressed, I'm dressed, what now," she asked in a husky voice that made no effort to conceal her own raging desire.

"Well, I think we need to go somewhere where we aren't so proximate to a bed and talk."

Mel could feel the waves of sexual tension between them, but she nodded her agreement and headed for the door. Janice followed a few steps behind, catching a heated view of Mel's gently-swaying hips in front of her. Janice let out a labored breath, futilely trying to tear her eyes from Mel's body.

Once outside of Rick's they silently walked side by side through the crowded streets. The day was sunny and surprisingly temperate for the region and they soon found themselves at the docks that ran along the west end of the city. They walked north, passing beyond the docks to where there was only beach and the rumbling surf of the Atlantic Ocean. Surprisingly, there were few people on the beach and they walked only a short distance till they settled in a cusp of beach with no discernible people nearby.

Mel kicked off her shoes and settled to the sand, her legs drawn up before her with her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. Janice sat down about an arm's length away. Mel waited, her eyes locked on Janice's profile as the blond woman stared unwaveringly out at the gentle rhythmic surf.

"You know I love you," Janice began softly.

"You've got a funny way of showing it," Mel replied with no humor in her voice.

Janice winced, taking a deep breath and pushing onward. "I left because I couldn't bear to hurt you. If I had stayed you'd almost certainly end up hurt."

Mel's jaw tightened and an angry edge permeated her voice. "You couldn't bear to hurt me? I've done nothing but hurt for three months straight. How much worse could it be if you'd stayed?"

Janice shook her head, her stomach roiling in distress. "No, that's not what I meant by hurt... I meant you could be physically hurt."

Mel thought for a minute, confused that Janice would be worried about physically hurting her when the archaeologist had never so much as raised her voice at her in anger yet alone her hand. Finally, a light began to dawn. "It's that bullet wound in Honduras. That's what this is about, isn't it?"

Janice's glance fell to the sand and she picked up a warm handful and let it run through her fingers. "That's one."

"And there are others," Mel prompted.

"The Nazi's in Greece, the smugglers in Budapest, the scorpion in Afghanistan, the asp in Cairo, the tiger in Bengal..."

"But nothing happened to me. You saved me from being harmed all those times," Mel countered, but she could feel a knot of fear rising in her throat as she glimpsed the nature of the problem.

Janice rose from the beach and stood to face her lover. "I was lucky every one of those times. Someday maybe I won't be so lucky, you'll end up getting maimed or killed and I'll know it was my fault, just like Honduras."

"Janice, the nature of our work takes us to dangerous places... I accept the risk the same as you," Mel argued.

"No, Mel, that's not true. The nature of *my* work takes me to dangerous places... Your work, as a translator, doesn't mean you have to be traipsing around like this... you should be in the States, working at the university with all your reference books close at hand. You needn't be out in the heat and the cold, most of the time without so much as a bed to sleep in, often without a decent meal. There's no reason you should be living such a hard life... exposing yourself to those kinds of dangers."

"Have I ever complained about any of these conditions?"

Janice thought for a moment. "Actually, no, you haven't," she admitted.

"So quit trying to protect me from something I don't want to be protected from," Mel insisted.

Janice stood quietly, looking agonizingly at the ground.

"Janice, please, I'm begging you, don't do this, don't send me away," Mel pleaded.

Janice sank to her knees before her lover. "If we change the deal, if you stay behind, let me do what I gotta do, knowing you're safe..." she offered hopefully.

"No!" Mel stopped her abruptly, "I'm not gonna sit in safety while you walk into danger, not knowing if you're ok for weeks at a time...out of my mind with worry. Afraid that you could be lying somewhere, injured, with no one to help you. I need to be with you...I want to be with you...I can't do what you ask, Janice. I just can't."

Janice's eyes focused on Mel, her heart aching like never before, and she once again accepted the inescapable logical conclusion of their dilemma. "Then I guess this is the end," she resigned.

Mel's eyes flooded with fear and pain at those words. "Can't you give it up... for me? You've got the job at the museum..." Desperation tinged her voice as she struggled to control the tears now threatening to burst forth.

Janice shook her head. "I learned something about myself this last year... though I've tried real hard to adapt, that's just not something I can settle into. I have a passion for field work, I can't sit behind a desk... it's been killing me," she confessed.

Mel's eyes dropped guiltily to the sand. "I've known that all along...I knew the sacrifice you were making to stay with me while I worked on my degree... but I've been looking forward to the future we planned together... Drs. Pappas and Covington, the most famous adventurers in all of archaeology... I guess it was just romantic nonsense." She snorted derisively at her dream.

"Mel..." Janice started to say something.

Mel held up a quieting hand. "Enough, Janice, enough." She accepted defeat and stood, brushing sand from her dress and picking up her shoes. "Let me just have my say and then, if it's what you want, I'll go."

"I've got three reasons to be with you. First, I need you... every bit as much as I need air to breath, food to eat and water to drink, I can't imagine living without you. Second, I want you... every minute we're together and every minute we're apart I desire you. I want to please you in every possible way, I want to bring you to ecstasy and I want to feel the way only you can make me feel. With a glance from you I tremble, the slightest touch and I feel an aching need, a kiss and I am yours to do with what you will. Third, I love you and I know I'll never feel this way about anyone else. I will love you and only you until the day I die and then into the afterlife for all of eternity. You are condemning me to a life of torment, a life of emptiness, for now that I know what is possible I'll never be able to settle for less.

"Janice, I offer you my heart, my body, and my soul; if this isn't enough for you just tell me what more you want and it's yours. This life I've been living the last three months has been a living death... my life's not worth living unless I'm with you. Please, don't leave me. I'm begging you, don't throw away your happiness and mine with both fists. Let's take what we can have together and savor it for as long as we can. Maybe something will happen, if it does I certainly wouldn't blame it on you, but maybe nothing will happen and we could have a lifetime together."

Janice rose from her knees to face the woman she loved, her heart was in tatters but her mind was made up. "I'm no good for you, Mel. Life with me would be hardship and danger. It's for your own good. You'll find someone to love... someone who can give you a home and children and all the comfort and luxuries a woman of your refined upbringing deserves. It's over, Mel. It ends here," Janice finished with stiff determination.

Mel didn't even try to suppress the tears that streamed down her cheeks. Her mind kept denying the reality of the moment but she had tried her best and it had not been good enough. Numbly, she pulled the ring from her finger and read the inscription aloud. "Forever yours - Janice." she held the ring out to Janice. "I guess forever isn't as long as it used to be," she sniffed. Janice balked at taking the ring. "Take it," Mel ordered tersely. "It's a lie, and I don't want it."

Janice took the ring and clamped it tightly in her hand. Her chest felt tight and with each breath she took she felt like she was drowning.

Mel turned and walked unsteadily down the beach toward town. Janice stood, watching her diminishing form. "But it's not a lie." She whispered. Her legs could hold her no longer and she crumpled to the sand.

Time seemed to warp as Janice lay on the beach, in too much pain to consider what she should do or where she should go. She managed to struggle to a seated position and glassily gazed out to the ocean, feeling a compelling desire to just jump in and swim out until the vast water just took her and put her out of her misery. A shadow fell across her as she heard the crunch of a footstep on sand.

"You're a coward."

The soft voice startled Janice, she whipped her head around to find an extremely angry bard glaring down at her, the tall warrior standing stoically at her side. "You're a coward and a fool if you let her get away," she accused vehemently.

Janice blinked in consternation. "You don't understand," she insisted. "She'd just keep following me into danger, get herself killed... it's for her own good!"

"That's a pile of crap, Janice. This isn't so much about sheltering Mel as it is about you running away because you don't have the guts to face the tough stuff."

"You know how Mel is...she won't listen to me. She just charges right in anytime I'm in trouble, putting herself in danger. I can't let her keep doing that, she'll be killed and it will be all my fault!" Janice tried to defend herself.

Gabrielle and Xena exchanged knowing glances.

"I can see your point of view," Xena responded laconically. Janice turned a grateful glance to the warrior. "Of course you're totally wrong, but I can see what you're saying. The truth is, you're problem is fear... you're just so afraid of the pain and guilt you'd experience if something happened to Melinda that you'll avoid it at all costs. But don't you think the cost is a little too high?"

Janice considered the warrior's words.

Gabrielle's face softened as she settled to the sand beside her descendant. "Mel knows what she's gotten herself into. Her love for you makes her choose to put everything on the line just so she can be with you. A love like that should not be denied because you lack the courage to accept it. Put away your fear and trust without reservation in the love you share."

Janice wavered, her heart crying to accept the counsel of her ancestor.

Gabrielle stood to rejoin her warrior, wrapping an arm lightly around the warrior's waist. "Xena and I almost fell to this same problem. She tried to ditch me so I wouldn't get caught up in all that ex-warlord backwash."

Xena smiled at her partner. "Yeah, I could be pretty damn stubborn and foolish sometimes," she admitted with a soft kiss to the bard's red-gold hair. "Luckily I had myself one very persistent partner. She just wouldn't let me give up on us. Of course there wasn't much I could do to resist... she had my heart and refused to give it back."

"But Mel..." Janice started an argument but was cut off by the warrior.

"She loves you deeply, as much as you love her. And right now she is suffering greatly because of your fear. Because you don't love her enough to hold on to what you have. The decision is yours to make, but I'll tell you this, however long you have together, it will be worth it in the end. The alternative is nothing but pain and emptiness for you both."

Janice was crumbling, her heart pining for Mel, her mind reeling from their ancestors' arguments. It was hard to deny the accusation that it was her own cowardice that was keeping them apart.

Xena could see the crack in Janice's convictions. She pulled Gabrielle's hand to her lips and kissed it. "Two hearts, one destiny." she said softly with a knowing look to Janice. "Don't fight destiny. Give in to it."

Janice surrendered. She turned and ran down the beach, clutching the ring tightly in her hand.

Gabrielle grinned to her partner, giving her a peck on the cheek as reward. "Thanks, love. I don't think I could have straightened her out myself."

Xena raised an eyebrow. "That's all I get? A little peck?"

Chuckling softly, Gabrielle pulled her into her arms as they started to fade. "Oh, you want a little more do you?" Her voice held a sultry edge. "I think that can be arranged."

Walking blindly into town, Mel headed towards the hotel she had checked into when she'd arrived in Casablanca the day before. It had been the first establishment she'd found and she'd checked into the seedy dive just to have a place to leave her travel pack while she scoured the town for Janice.

She didn't allow herself to think, didn't allow herself to feel, just put her body on auto pilot with the intent of picking up her things and getting to the airport to catch the first plane leaving no matter what its destination. With all the hope she had when she'd entered the town, she was leaving it now with nothing but despair.

She stumbled into her room and quickly changed into pants and a blouse, carelessly stuffing the rest of her belongings into her pack. She headed for the front desk to settle her account.

Mel struggled to go through the check out procedure, her hands shaking as she counted out the money. She kept having to wipe the tears from her eyes as the clerk calculated her bill and completed his paperwork. With this done she headed out the door to the street.

Mel waved at several cabs but they were already occupied. She watched the traffic passing by for the lighted roof placards of the cabs. She froze when she saw a familiar form standing further up the block. It was Janice, who was standing in the middle of the sidewalk scanning the area. Mel felt a hopeless anguish in her chest, the sight of her lover sending daggers piercing through her heart.

>From half a block away Janice spotted Mel, even at that distance she could see the pain in Mel's languid blue eyes and felt a deep guilt at knowing it was because of her. Janice began to move towards Mel, their eyes locked in an unbreakable connection as she covered the short distance.

Mel stood fixed to the spot like a statue, her heart thumping wildly at her lover's approach. Her mind and emotions were darting wildly about as she realized the archaeologist had been looking for her. A flicker of hope flared and she grasped it as she waited for Janice to speak.

Stopping several feet from her lover, Janice was at a loss for how to begin. Finally, she dropped to her knees on the pavement, her hands spread before her in supplication. "Mel, forgive me, I've been a fool. Please, stay with me."

Mel could not find her voice to answer. She stared at the kneeling form of her lover, unable to believe the turn of events.

"I'm sorry, Mel, so sorry. I was totally wrong, I can see that now. I need you, I want you, and I love you. Please, say you still want me too." Janice's voice came out as little more than a whisper through the tightness in her throat.

Mel managed to break through her shock and moved to her partner, pulling her to her feet and holding her by the shoulders. "This is on my terms. Where you go, I go. Right?"

"Yes," Janice agreed.

"And we won't be going through this again. It's settled, once and for all?" Mel's voice shook emotionally. Janice nodded.

Mel pulled Janice into her arms. Their lips met in a crushing kiss that set both their hearts to beating again. When their kiss ended they held each other tightly. Janice pulled back a bit and held up her hand, a ring held between her thumb and index finger. "Mel, please take this back. I pledge to you, I am forever yours." Mel smiled broadly and held out her hand.

Janice slid the ring on then brought the trembling hand to her lips and kissed it softly then pulled her lover back into her arms. She felt a soft shudder pass through Mel's body and she looked up to see tears streaming down her lover's beaming face. She reached up a hand to softly wipe the tears away. "I'm so sorry to have hurt you so."

"I think I can forgive you," Mel sniffled. "Provided you make love to me at the earliest opportunity."

Janice smiled, noting the seedy hotel Mel had just checked out of, she was tempted, but instead she turned to the street and with a shrill whistle brought a cab to the curb. She threw Mel's travel bag into the front seat then opened the back door and ushered Mel inside, crawling in beside her. "Rick's Place, and step on it," she growled to the driver then pulled Mel in for a searing kiss as they pulled away from the curb.

Hand-in-hand, they crossed the lobby of Rick's hotel, eager to get to their room. The desk clerk waved to Janice, signaling that he wanted to talk to her. "Argh, what now?!" Janice grumbled irritably as she altered their direction toward the desk.

"Dr. Covington, I've been watching for you all day. Mr. Rick wanted me to make sure that you got this." He pulled a thick white envelope from under the desk and handed it to her.

Janice tore the envelope open to find a thick wad of twenty dollar bills. "What's this for," she asked in confusion.

"It's my understanding it is your winnings from the poker game last night... a little over one thousand American dollars," the clerk responded.

Janice tried to think back to the night before. She recalled playing poker with her friends but not much detail about the game, though it seemed to her she'd been losing all night.

"Everything ok?" Mel saw the confusion on Janice's face.

Janice smiled up to her partner. "Everything's just wonderful," she gushed in genuine happiness, stuffing the envelope into her pocket and starting towards the stairs with Mel in tow.

"Dr. Covington." The clerk called after her again. Janice turned to give the man a dirty look for another delay. "I just noticed, there's a message for you," he pointed sheepishly towards the cubby of boxes behind him, pulling an envelope from box 206 and handing it to her.

Janice tore the envelope open in irritation, but her expression eased at the contents.

"What is it?"

"An invitation for us to have dinner tonight with Rick, Indy and Louis." She checked her watch. "Shit, it's 6:15, the invitation is for 7:00. That leaves us only 45 minutes to..."

"Get cleaned up and changed," Mel finished with a smile.

Janice cast a look of hungry desire to her soulmate. "What about that 'making love to you at the earliest opportunity' clause," she groused disappointedly.

Mel sighed in carnal frustration. "I know, but we'll be leaving tomorrow and we owe those three a lot. We should accept the invitation. We can wait a *little* while longer."

Janice turned back to the desk and wrote out a hasty note. "Could you see that Mr. Rick gets this right away?"

"But of course," the desk clerk assured.

Mel and Janice hurried to their room to change.

It was torturous to refrain from jumping into the bed as soon as they entered the room. Janice grabbed a robe and hurried down to the bathroom to take a quick bath, returning dressed only in a robe to find Mel standing in front of the mirror applying make-up dressed only in a slip. She couldn't resist the urge to pull her lover into her arms for a heated kiss and they both nearly gave into their lust before Mel gathered her wits enough to pull Janice's hands off her body. Janice whined softly then reluctantly went about the task of getting dressed, avoiding looking at Mel so as not to be further tempted.

The food was wonderful and their companions were gracious and entertaining. Janice was informed of the outcome of the final hand of the poker game and she eyed the smiling faces of her friends with some mistrust, suspecting they had engineered a conspiracy for her benefit.

The evening ambled on with pleasant teasing and Mel was quickly made to feel comfortable amongst the obvious friendship of the others. Janice and Indy showed a particular competitiveness in their shared occupation but their braggadocio seemed too good-natured to be taken seriously.

"Miss Pappas, may I trouble you for a dance," Rick asked almost shyly. "That is, if Janice doesn't mind."

"Why I'd love to dance." Mel cast a quick glance to her partner.

"It's fine by me, but don't be trying anything funny out there. I'll be watching you," Janice replied with a grin.

Rick snorted. "Who are you trying to kid, Janice? We all know who your eyes will be glued to and it sure as hell won't be me. Let me just ask Sam to play something special. I'll be right back." Rick excused himself and threaded his way through the bar.

Louis grimaced. "The man just has to keep torturing himself."

"Yeah," Indy agreed. "A glutton for punishment."

Rick returned and offered his hand to Mel who rose gracefully and followed him to the dance floor as the pianist finished the closing bridge of the song he had been playing and began playing the melancholy opening notes to the song Rick had requested. The room seemed to hush in recognition of the haunting melody as it rose from its soft opening notes, the deep baritone of Sam, the piano player, could be heard clearly through the crowded room. "You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh... "

Rick held Mel lightly in his arms as they swayed gently to the poignant melody. She felt him let out a soulful sigh and she looked to his face to see a glisten in his eyes that hinted of a deep emotion he was struggling to control.

"You love her very much," she said tenderly.

"Who?" He pretended not to know what she was talking about.

"The woman this song reminds you of."

A brief pause. "Yes," Rick admitted painfully.

"May I ask what happened?"

"I sent her away where she'd be safe, with someone who can give her all the finer things in life a mug like me could never give her." A burnished agony highlighted his tone.

The explanation hit a painful chord with Mel. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't pry."

"It's ok. Sometimes I kind of need to talk about her, but most people think it's too painful a subject to bring up so they avoid it. I did what I did because I felt it was the best thing for her." He paused, looking at the empathetic expression of the woman in his arms. "You must think me a fool."

"No," Mel assured. "I don't think you're a fool at all, I think she is."

Rick looked surprised. "And what makes you think that," he asked curiously.

"Because she let you get away with that."

"Perhaps she didn't love me enough."

"Then, as I said, she's a fool."

A few minutes passed as they danced to the languid melody.

"Does it get any easier," Mel inquired.

A quiet pause. "No... it doesn't," Rick sighed.

Mel laid her head on Rick's shoulder and they finished the dance in silence as he pined for what he could never have and Mel patiently yearned for the arms of the woman who sat across the room.

Mel slid into her chair next to Janice, her hand discreetly landing on Janice's knee and lightly resting there in an act of casual possession.

Janice flushed from the simple, unexpected touch but maintained her composure enough to continue her conversation with Louis and Indy. She slid her hand under the table and ran a delicate caress over Mel's wrist and felt a perceptible quickening of the pulse under her finger tips. She cut a glance to her partner's face to see sparkling blue eyes sending an unmistakable message of desire.

"Rick, Mel, I'm so glad you've returned to save me from the shop talk of these bonediggers," Louis whined.

Janice felt Mel's hand begin a slow journey up the inside of her thigh, feeling a spark of desire burst to full flame as Mel's hand climbed higher. Her eyes connected with Mel's, seeing a playful glint of intentional torture and an invitation in the sultry smirk on the woman's full lips.

"You know, Louis, between Janice and Indy they've got some of the greatest archaeological discoveries made in the last decade." Rick defended his friends.

"Oh, is that right?" Louis sniffed. "Tell me, Monsieur Jones, what, in your opinion, is your greatest find?"

Janice grabbed Mel's hand, regretfully stopping its delicious expedition before it drove her to a physical reaction she could not conceal. Mel's smirk widened and she knew from the look on Janice's face that she had succeeded in getting her lover's undivided attention.

Indy scratched his jaw, giving Louis' question serious consideration. "Well there was the...ah..., nope can't tell ya about that one, classified government secret. Ah, then there was when my father and I found the cup..." Indy looked to the waiting Frenchman. "Nah, you'll never believe it if I told ya." He paused again. "Then there was the... well, maybe I shouldn't talk about that one, it was kind of illegal..."

Louis shook his head at the befuddled man. "How about you, Dr. Covington? What was your greatest find?"

Janice heard her name called and snapped from the spell Mel had cast over her. She focused her eyes on Louis who was looking at her with a silly grin. "What'd you say, Louis? I didn't hear... guess my mind was somewhere else."

"Quite understandable, Janice. I was just wondering, since Indy here can't seem to come up with an answer, if you could tell us what you consider your greatest find?"

Without missing a beat Janice turned to the woman at her side. "That's such an easy one... it's Mel," she beamed proudly.

Mel blushed then leaned in and rewarded her lover with a quick kiss. "Great answer," she breathed into Janice's ear, sending a warm shiver through the archaeologist.

"So, Janice, any chance we'll get an opportunity to win back some of that money you won last night," Louis inquired, knowing perfectly well what the answer would be.

Janice smiled. "I don't think it would be fair of me to play with you boys. Ya see, my luck has changed and there's no way I can lose. Besides, I have something else planned for this evening and we really must be going." She caught her lover's eyes in a heated look.

With Herculean effort Mel tore her gaze from her partner to look at their three companions. "Before we go, I'd just like to thank you gentlemen for a lovely evening and for the kindness you've extended to us both. I don't know how this scalawag does it, but Janice sure does find herself very good friends."

"Well, I think I can speak for the other two gentlemen when I say you're most certainly welcome," Rick responded affectionately. "And we're all just happy that that little misunderstanding between you two got worked out."

"We'll be leaving tomorrow, heading back to the States. So I guess this is goodbye," Janice said reluctantly.

"Well, I for one am sorry to see you leave. I'm afraid I've become permanently spoiled and will be hard pressed to find company of your caliber. Such a sad state, you leaving me here with only these rogues for company. Ah, what am I to do," Louis lamented semi-seriously.

"You two be careful out there, the world's a dangerous place," Indy cautioned.

Janice stood and held out her hand to Mel who immediately grasped it and stood to follow. "Oh, it's dangerous all right, but there's nothing we can't do if we face it together," Janice replied with her gaze locked on her lover's eyes.

Mel waited beside the bed as she heard Janice lock the door behind her. Already her heart was racing at the anticipation of what was to come. Janice stepped behind her and wrapped her arms around Mel's waist, molding her body against Mel's back and laying her face between the taller woman's shoulder blades. They stood for a moment in total communion, each savoring the emotional bond that they shared.

Janice's hand started a slow journey up Mel's arm, the fingertips lightly blazing a line up to the shoulder where she pulled the long black hair across Mel's right shoulder to reveal the zipper on the back of the dress. With maddening slowness, Janice pulled the zipper down, parting the dress to expose the alabaster skin of Mel's back. Starting at the top, Janice began a line of kisses, moving further down Mel's back as the zipper moved lower still. Finally the zipper was at the bottom of its tracks at Mel's waist.

Mel felt her own desire begin to throb, demanding immediate attention, but strove to remain still, foregoing that primal need for Janice's torturously sensual seduction. She had fantasized through dinner of the impending physical consummation of their reunion and she had driven her own sexual tension to an intense need. She closed her eyes and focused her senses on the kisses and touches sending tingles down her spine. She moaned softly and felt her lover's teeth lightly nip the back of her neck, eliciting a sharp gasp.

Janice pulled the thin straps of Mel's dress from her shoulders and pulled the top of the dress down around her waist. With a deft hand she released the front clasp on her bra and stripped the garment away. Mel's breathing became ragged and she moaned softly when Janice's hand lightly grazed her breast. Janice felt an overwhelming desire to push the woman down to the bed and take her with a savage lust that would lead to an immediate physical explosion, but she didn't want it over that quickly. She needed to achieve more than sexual fulfillment, she needed to make love to her soulmate.

Mel turned in Janice's arms, her self-control hanging on by a thread. She bent her head down and caught her lover's lips with her own, gently nipping and sucking at Janice's lips until the archaeologist reached behind her neck and pulled her firmly into a deep, passionate kiss. Janice pulled back, taking a moment to catch her breath. "I feel like I'm in heaven," she whispered reverently.

Mel moaned soft and low, "where you go, I go," and drew Janice's lips back to hers.

The End.

Hi folks, I'm glad you stuck with me through to the end, it sure turned out to be a lengthy adventure for our heroines.

I'd just like to ask you to once in a while take a minute to drop a note of appreciation, not just to the bards but also to the webmasters, maintainers of the fanfic indices, fanfic reviewers, graphic artists, and other contributors to what we affectionately call the Xenaverse. These people put in a lot of time and derive no reward for their efforts other than the encouragement and appreciation only you give them... a short note seems a small price to pay for all the benefits we reap.

Ok, I'll stop preaching now.

Regards,

YJ - 6/28/98
sarahd@dimacs.rutgers.edu

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