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Sounds from Takes One To Know One
Download all 79 sounds in .wav format 34.4mb
or Download all 79 sounds in .mp3 format 16.6mb
Cast of characters: Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Autolycus, Minya, Discord, Lila,
Cyrene and Revenica. This was such a fun episode, it was like Columbo meets a Greek
comedy or a Who Dunnit in Greece. I had a blast watching this episode. It was
more like the Xena I got to know and love, full of one liners and running jokes. At
least we know two things or is that three things or...okay, okay - we definitely know that
Discord is new Xena, Gabrielle and the rest of the gang. I wonder why Hercules never
told any of them about her before? And...we know that it is without a shadow of a
doubt NOT Minya in the bedroom with the knife. On a different note, I'm going to try
to put the episode in it's entirety on CD, if it works I'll let you all know. Well,
enough from me, I hope you enjoy this episode.
As always, please let me know what ya think. - Sounds@Xenafan.com
- Intro: IT'S A DARK AND DEADLY REUNION...ON AN ALL NEW XENA...
Xena: You think I did it?...WITH ONE DEAD BODY...Xena: Which of you owns this?...SEVEN
UNLIKELY SUSPECTS...Xena: Starting with you!...AND A GODDESS WITHOUT A CLUE...Autolycus:
Hey - there's news...Discord: Time is running out...hand him over...WHO DUNNIT?...WHO
KNOWS?...Joxer: Aw, c'mon...do I have to spell it out for ya?!...AN ALL NEW XENA...COMING
UP NEXT. 632kb wav or 291kb mp3
- Autolycus- Muzzles, leather bonds, manacles..oh - nothing unusual
here. 124kb wav or 62kb mp3
- Autolycus- She's bounty hunter alright, her
name's Revenica. Xena- Looks like this was a business trip.
Minya- Can you believe that and after all you've done too?! Joxer-
Yeah, what an insult...two hundred dinars, should have been a thousand...maybe a
million! Cyrene- It's seems that this Revenica has cashed in on
one bounty already. Autolycus- Maybe there's a
happy ending after all. 552kb wav or 260kb mp3
- Autolycus- Okay! I'm a thief - Hey there's
news! 62kb wav or 29kb
mp3
- Autolycus- Scares me to say this...I think she's
right this time. 57kb wav or 27kb mp3
- Autolycus- Ha ha...are you going to believe this
blowhard or me? Ha ha... 232kb wav or 115kb mp3
- Autolycus- Oh, alright I admit that I knew
her...even did a few jobs together awhile back. Then all of a sudden, she starts to
collect bounties on guys like me. So I figure...well, if I rob from her it
isn't really stealing, it's just payback. The trouble is Revenica didn't share my
point of view. ...Oh c'mon Revenica, you know I'd never lie to you. Revenica-
Are you saying that you didn't steal my diamonds last night? Autolycus- If
I had...would I be right here at the very next tavern down the road?...No...I'd be pawning
them in Athens by now. Revenica- Then why are you here? Autolycus- I
think we both know the answer to that. Joxer- Wait, wait,
wait...that's not what I heard. Autolycus- You
know I'd never lie to you. Revenica- Are you saying that you
didn't steal my diamonds? Autolycus- If
I had...would I be right here at the very next tavern down the road?...No!...I'd be
pawning them in Athens by now. Revenica- Then why are you here?
Autolycus- 'Cause I know what you've
become. And if you think that I'm gonna let you cash in on Xena...think again.
Xena- You did that for me? Autolycus- Yeah,
okay, I admit it. 1,761kb wav or 847kb mp3
- Cyrene- Of course we're glad to see you dear, but it's not your
birthday. Xena- No, and it's not Gabrielle's either - not until
tomorrow. Joxer- That's why it's a surprise...get it? Lila-
It was Joxer's idea. Xena- No surprise there. 334kb wav or 155kb mp3
- Cyrene- If Xena doesn't find Revenica's killer,
Discord's taking one of us...whether we did it or not. Gabrielle-
But that's not fair. Minya- She's a goddess. 221kb wav or 104kb mp3
- Cyrene- Maybe she liked her pears bruised? Gabrielle-
She's your mother. 129kb wav or 65kb mp3
- Cyrene- Discord has long ears...she could show up
at any time. Joxer- That's exactly my point, you keep talking
about her ears like that, she will show up! 177kb wav
or 83kb mp3
- Discord- No! Stop! Not the face. Xena-
You're right...I should start at the bottom. 187kb wav or
95kb mp3
- Discord- I know who you are, all Olympus knows the warrior
princess...Ares has made sure of that. He's also made me...Goddess of Retribution.
Discord's the name. Xena- Retribution, huh...guess you
gotta start somewhere? Discord- Well start with the
person who did this. 472kb wav or 233kb mp3
- Discord- All Olympus knows the warrior princess. 54kb wav or 27kb mp3
- Discord- Discord's the name. 24kb wav
or 13kb mp3
- Discord- After all...takes one to know one, right? 57kb wav or 30kb mp3
- Discord- Thanks for the help - tall, dark and, a....mortal.
I should have known that Xena wouldn't have the guts to turn in her own mom. 180kb wav or 87kb mp3
- Discord- What's the big idea? I thought you were the poster
girl for truth and justice? Xena- I am when I'm sure it's being
served, and I'm not. C'mon Discord, you gave me 'til sunrise...remember? Discord- Fine.
Play your little detective games, but time is running out. Autolycus-
W...w...well...It's hard to believe you're new at this. I gotta tell ya...you're
doing a hell of a job. Vigilant, hard-working, why you even put a clock on the
case...which reminds me I have a pressed for time...so a...you'll pardon me......Hey!!
Discord- Pressed for time? I see what you mean.
Suffer. Gabrielle- Who was that? Xena-
Ares' latest find, Discord...Goddess of Retribution. 1,189kb
wav or 560kb mp3
- Discord- Look Xena, I'm tired of being jerked around. Xena-
You gave me 'til sunrise to jerk you around. 106kb wav
or 52kb mp3
- Discord- Time flies when I'm having fun. 83kb wav or 39kb mp3
- Discord- Well it's about time. Okay tall, dark and
deadly...let's go. 159kb wav or 77kb
mp3
- Discord- You wanna play rough? I love rough. 76kb wav or 35kb mp3
- Discord- Aw, you might be good in bed, but you're hopeless in a
fight. 73kb wav or 42kb mp3
- Discord- I don't do animals! Minya-
That's not what I heard. 69kb wav or 35kb mp3
- Discord- Aagh!! This job sucks!!! 40kb wav or 22kb mp3
- Fight- 3,377kb wav or 1,646kb mp3
- Gabrielle- No...I think it might have something to do with this.
Joxer- Look!! Clear gold!! Autolycus-
That's private property! Gabrielle- His bag spilled
across the kitchen floor and these were in it. Xena- Well that
explains alot of things. So maybe her luck purse wasn't a decoy after all? Autolycus-
Okay, I'm a thief - Hey! There's news! But we've got a murder among us, remember?
Gabrielle- I hate to say this Autolycus, but people have
killed for less than diamonds. Autolycus- C'mon, Gabrielle, you
know my rap sheet...do you recall seeing ruthless murderer anywhere on it? Joxer-
King of Thieves, Escape Artist Extrodinare, Master of Disguise! Autolycus-
Quiet. Joxer- I'm willing to bet anything that mustache is phony.
HA HA! ...OW! Minya- Autolycus could have robbed her after
she was dead. Autolycus- ...After she was...Now you listen hear
missy, I maybe a thief, but I've got my standards. Xena-
And he wasn't the only one to go through her stuff. Cyrene- What do
ya mean? Xena- There are three scroll sheets here, one of
them contains my bounty, the other is some wanted poster for some other guy, and
this...the third one, is completely empty. Minya- So... Xena-
So a veteran of the road like Revenica would never carry more than she had to. And
given that she probably packed in the morning and unpacked every single night... Gabrielle-
Your saying that someone here took it. Minya- Autolycus could
have taken that too. Autolycus- Of course I could have... Xena-
No, it's not his style. Whoever did this was sloppy. Autolycus-
And dumb. Xena- And they repacked in a hurry. Lila-
You can tell all that by just looking? Xena- Well think about it.
Revenica's maps were all squished up on the bottom with her fruit, where as heavier
less necessary items were on top. Cyrene- Maybe
she liked her pears bruised? Gabrielle- She's your mother.
Xena- Yeah, well, Mom...I can tell you what she didn't like for
sure and that's lavender perfume. No bounty hunter worth her salt wouldn't wear any
kind of perfume...they'd smell her before she got close enough to pounce. 2,757kb wav or 1,309kb mp3
- Gabrielle- It's our family we're talking about, our friends...none
of them would commit cold blooded murder. Autolycus- As much as
this scares me to say this...I think she's right, Xena. Xena- Oh ya
do? Gabrielle- Look at that. Now THAT is so odd.
Autolycus- Looks like kindling. Gabrielle- It
is kindling, but do either of you see a woodpile in this room? No. A
fireplace? No. A stove? No. Do you know what that means? Xena
& Autolycus- No. Gabrielle- Me
neither. 774kb wav or 384kb mp3
- Gabrielle- Do either of you see a woodpile in this room? No.
A fireplace? No. A stove? No. Do you know what that means?
Xena & Autolycus- No. 204kb
wav or 103mp3
- Gabrielle- How about the door? Autolycus-
Locked as well...from the inside. Gabrielle- And who
discovered that? Someone with motive enough for murder? Someone who's trying
to confuse us? Someone who's looking to beat this rap the best he can no matter what
the cost? Xena- I did. Gabrielle-
Oh. Autolycus- He he 480kb wav
or 229kb mp3
- Gabrielle- I put Joxer's gravy recipe in her water bag. All-
Ewww. Xena- That's inhuman! 110kb
wav or 49kb mp3
- Gabrielle- We've assembled that facts and there's one thing we
know beyond a shadow of a doubt. To be the indisputable truth...Revenica is dead and
someone here killed her. Autolycus- Tell me something I don't
know. Gabrielle-I could ask you the same thing Autolycus.
Tell us what we don't know about you and Revenica? Lila &
Minya- Yeah... Cyrene- But Gabrielle, surely he's already
explained that. Gabrielle- I think it was slightly vague.
Like how you've explained how you weren't in your room when Xena checked. Lila-
Gabrielle, this is Xena's mom. Gabrielle- I know, Lila, and
you're my sister, but if there's blood on your hands... Joxer-
BLOOD!! BLOOD!! BLOOD!! Uh, uh...it's just ink. Gabrielle-
But blood is thicker than ink, Joxer...and the same blood flows in you that flows in your
deadly brother Jed. Minya- Ya know what they say...blood will out.
Gabrielle- But none of this explains why your knife was in
Revenica's chest. Autolycus- Yeah - that's good point, right.
Gabrielle- Those are the facts...it doesn't take an oracle to
see our outcome. Autolycus- Right, we're all gonna die.
1,526kb wav or 732kb mp3
- Gabrielle- When it's all said and done, it seems that everyone
behaved like they did for one reason...love. For you, for family. Xena-
I guess you're right. 256kb wav or 125kb mp3
- Gabrielle- So you still think they're capable of anything? Xena-
Absolutely. All sing- Happy Birthday!! Oh...She's another
year older, well, she's another year older, she's another year older....and that's a
crying shame. Oh...She'll never get any younger, she'll never get any younger,
she'll never get any younger....and that's a crying shame. 741kb wav or 354kb mp3
- Joxer- (action music) Surprise. All-
SURPRISE! Aw........... Xena- Well, gee, glad to see you too,
mom. 364kb wav or 181kb mp3
- Joxer- Surprise. All- SURPRISE!
Aw........... Xena- Well, gee, glad to see you too. 134kb wav or 66kb mp3
- Joxer- Autolycus is right...she's dead, but she could have had a
heart condition. Autolycus- Yeah...maybe it grew that knife?
117kb wav or 58kb mp3
- Joxer- Maybe you liked those horsees a little too much. 76kb wav or 35kb mp3
- Joxer- Revenica here killed some horsees, you got mad...now she's
dead. Oh, come on people! Do I have to spell it out for ya?! Minya in
the bedroom with the knife! 231kb wav or 113kb mp3
- Joxer- So...you're saying it was Cyrene in the bedroom
with the kitchen knife. Autolycus- No. Joxer- In
the kitchen with the bedroom knife? 192kb wav or 94kb mp3
- Joxer- I'm willing to bet anything that mustache is
phony. 98kb wav or 48kb mp3
- Joxer- I still say it was...Minya in the bedroom with
the knife!! 102kb wav or 47kb mp3
- Joxer- Hey...when I left her she was stained but
standing. 71kb wav or 33kb mp3
- Joxer- Sure my brother Jed is a cold hearted merciless
killer, but family is family, right? Autolycus- You sure you
didn't kill her by accident. You know...death by blunder, by lethal clumsiness.
Joxer- Positive! And you outta know that better than
anyone...Autolycus. Xena- What do ya mean, Joxer? Joxer-
Only...that I wasn't the last person to see Revenica alive. 450kb
wav or 208kb mp3
- Joxer- And it was Minya in the bedroom with the...!! All-
Quiet!! 88kb wav or 42kb mp3
- Joxer- Gabby, Sophocles said that plagiarism is the sincerest form
of flattery. Gabrielle- It doesn't excuse the fact you
took my scroll. Okay, you were willing to take my place with Discord, I'm willing to
forgive you. Joxer- She likes me. 382kb
wav or 189kb mp3
- Lila- Me? Joxer- Oh, wait a minute
now...sure, sure it looks bad, Lila in the bedroom with the knife. 133kb wav or 62kb mp3
- Lila- Okay, I, I admit that when I saw Revenica with her back to
the corner and her eyes to the door I did think it was odd. But I never touched her
things, no matter how they smell. Gabrielle- You see Xena, you
can't suspect Lila. Xena- Until I figure out exactly who did it, I
suspect everyone. C'mon Gabrielle, I need your help...Autolycus, yours too.
Joxer ...Don't need your help. 588kb wav or 284kb mp3
- Lila- Is this what you're looking for? Minya-
Yeah! Thanks! I owe ya. Lila- Are you kidding...if
you hadn't distracted Revenica, who knows what she would have done to me. You're a
real hero, Minya. Minya- Yeah? Lila-
Yeah. Minya- Yeah? I guess I am. 336kb wav or 154kb mp3
- Minya- What are these for? 18kb wav or 10kb mp3
- Minya- Revenica...ugh... Xena- You knew her?
Minya- I only met her once in person, but I saw enough of her
work in the stables to last a lifetime. Cyrene- Stables...
Minya- Yeah, she'd catch her bounties by slowing down there
horses. Lila- How did she do that? Minya-
Cutting their tendons...hobbling them. Poor things, most of them had to be put down.
She's a real piece of work. Xena- Are you sure that the
dead woman is Revenica? Minya- Another look and I'd be
positive. Yeah, it's her alright. Joxer- Ah ha! So
you admit you knew her! Maybe you liked those horsees a little too much. 862kb wav or 405kb mp3
- Minya- You can leave me alive. Xena- Wait a
minute...Alright, alright, settle down...No one's calling anyone anything. Autolycus-
Xena's right, we are all friends here. Most of us. Lila-
Joxer's just looking at it from every angle. Right Joxer? Joxer-
That's right. Xena- Oh yes, Joxer is very broad minded. Look!
Revenica has been murdered and someone here is responsible. Gabrielle-
Xena, we've got trouble...What's going on? All- Surprise. Gabrielle-
Okay, but Xena there's a bounty hunter after you...she's on the floor...dead? All-
Dead. Gabrielle- I guess you found her first, huh? 1,010kb wav or 498kb mp3
- Minya- Smells lavendery alright. Gabrielle-
That's impossible, Xena. The only one who wears lavender perfume here would be...
Lila- Me? Joxer- Oh wait a minute
now...sure, sure it looks bad, Lila in the bedroom with the knife. But it's
obvious... Lila- Obvious?! Joxer, these things only smell
of... Joxer- That, that, please I'm trying to help you out here.
Now look Lila couldn't have killed Revenica, because at the time of the murder her
whereabouts were completely, unequivocally and with out a doubt...unknown. 722kb wav or 348kb mp3
- Minya- Okay! It's mine alright...the knife's mine. Joxer-
See, I told you it was her in the bedroom with the knife the whole time! Minya-
It was not. Joxer- It was. 186kb
wav or 88kb mp3
- Minya- So that's what killed her...it was Joxer in his bedroom with an
inkwell. 100kb wav or 49kb mp3
- Minya- We were just trying to protect you. Lila-
That's right. When Minya told me who Revenica was, I was only to glad to help.
Xena- Help do what?! Minya- Well it
was my idea... ...you think this storm is rough, huh? You should have
seen the one that struck my village about four years ago. Lila-
Bad? Minya- With a capital beta. Yeah, the wind was
blowing so hard that everything that wasn't tied down got blown away. Ya know like
hay rack and...um...livestock...small animals. And rain, one guy he gosh, he
wanted to build a big boat and sell double occupancies. Yeah like...uh...it was wet. 958kb wav or 454kb mp3
- Minya- It was wet. 13kb wav or 7kb mp3
- Revenica- Looking to steal my horse? Lila-
No. I was...um...just trying to calm them, the storm has got them scared. Revenica-
Looks to me that the only one scared out here is you. 259kb
wav or 131kb mp3
- Revenica- Everyone is so considerate here. Taking care of my
horse...and your what...taking care of my room? Minya- I don't
know what came over me...but seeing her standing there, knowing what she was, knowing what
she does...I guess, I guess I just saw red. Catch. I high-tailed it out of
there...I thought she'd follow me and have it out, but she didn't. 751kb wav or 366kb mp3
- Xena- Well, gee glad to see you too. 33kb
wav or 18kb mp3
- Xena- Autolycus, I'd have never picked you for a party boy. Autolycus-
Well call me sentimental, but I hear cake and ice cream...and I'm there. 260kb wav or 130kb mp3
- Xena- Retribution, huh, I guess you got to start somewhere? 65kb wav or 34kb mp3
- Xena- You think I did it? Discord- I
wish...Unfortunately, I saw enough to know it wasn't you. 142kb
wav or 71kb mp3
- Xena- The only other people here are my family and friends...you
saying that one of them is the murderer? Discord- No...you're
telling me. After all, takes one to know one...and someone did kill her. Xena- Clearly,
but... Discord- No buts...You either cough up the killer by
sunrise, or I take one of your buddies. Your choice...but either way...someone's
gonna pay. 519kb wav or 261kb mp3
- Xena- I've got until sunrise to find out who did it. Lila-
Sunrise will be here in no time. Joxer- One of us, that's absurd.
Minya- She's dead alright. Autolycus- Well
that's typical, leave it to the gods to try and frame an innocent party. Joxer-
Yeah, Autolycus is right, she's dead but she could have had a heart condition. Autolycus-
Yeah, maybe it grew that knife? Cyrene- She was a total
stranger, Xena. Xena- Then it's time we got acquainted. 543kb wav or 264kb mp3
- Xena- Let's take a look. Autolycus-
Muzzles, leather bonds, manacles...oh, nothing unusual here. Xena-
He's right...these are the basic tools of the trade for a... Cyrene-
Bounty hunter. I saw that on her arm when I served her, but I didn't think of it
until now. 475kb wav or 236kb mp3
- Xena- So you knew she was a bounty hunter? Cyrene-
Not until you pulled out the manacles and chains. Then it hit me, be fore
that...why? Xena- Because when I first heard the crash I
went into your room and you weren't there. Cyrene- The storm
kept me awake...I was putting water on the coals in the kitchen when I heard the crash.
545kb wav or 260kb mp3
- Xena- I gotta ask ya this, Mom. You killed once before to
protect me, is history repeating itself? Cyrene- That was
different, I was protecting a child. Xena- Well ya know
what they say, no matter what your age...you're always a child to your Mother. 383kb wav or 186kb mp3
- Xena- Autolycus, come and give us a hand would ya? Autolycus-
Big job running a tavern...lots of things to keep track of, huh? Food, drink,
keys...hey what do you know, you have a set of key to my room. Heh heh
heh...and...a...to Xena's and Joxer's...of course you would a key to every room in the
place wouldn't ya, Cyrene? Cyrene- Meaning? Autolycus-
Meaning you must know every creaky floorboard and squeaky hinge in the entire
place...why you could float around here like a ghost if you had to. Xena- And
why would she wanna do that? Autolycus- Bounty hunter checks
in, and despite what she says I think she knew it. You also knew it was damn likely
that your daughter would be on her list. Xena- Autolycus,
we already had this discussion. Autolycus- Then you must agree that
no one has better means ,or a stronger motive to kill Revenica than your own dear,
overprotective Mother. Sorry Cyrene, tough break...I'm outta here. Xena- He's
an idiot. 1,419kb wav or 667kb mp3
- Xena- Whoever did this was sloppy. Autolycus-
And dumb. 53kb wav or 26kb mp3
- Xena- Minya, you might have noticed that your knife sticking out
of her chest. Gabrielle- You mean her heart. Xena- No
her chest. About half a hand below her heart, but it was still enough to kill her.
If she hadn't already been dead. Gabrielle- You're
saying the knife didn't kill her? Xena- That's right.
Autolycus- Ho, ho, ho...well that's just perfect. So
instead of wrapping everything up, you're spinning more yarn just to make things worse.
Gabrielle- No she isn't....because I killed Revenica. 717kb wav or 350kb mp3
- Xena- You can't have killed her, you weren't even here. Gabrielle-
If it wasn't the knife, then it had to be me. You see I ran into Revenica two days
ago. I heard she was hot on your trail, so I decided to slow her down. I
thought I could get here first and warn you. So, I put Joxer's gravy recipe in her
water bag. All- Ewww... Xena- That's
in human. Gabrielle It was only enough to give her the trots
for a couple of days, not enough to kill her...unless she was allergic to it, and with the
rash on the back of her neck...she had to be. Which means I am the killer.
782kb wav or 374kb mp3
- Xena- SHUT UP!!! 19kb wav or 10kb mp3
- Xena- Okay, we don't have very much time. Which means I'm
gonna want some straight answers. Starting with you! Joxer-
Me? What have I got to hide? Xena- Nothing but
this...you want it, huh...want it... Joxer- Xena...give it!
Xena- Now this has been missing from Revenica's things
since we unpacked them. I wouldn't mind betting that that third bounty scroll is
somewhere in your bedroom somewhere...correctamundo? Joxer-
A...a...a...a... Autolycus- Where do you think you're
going...killer? Joxer- Uh...oh...okay, okay! It all started
when I got a note.... from Lila. It was a love note...doused with lavender. Of
course I was flattered, who wouldn't be? Lila's was terrific, but I'm already in
love with Ga...with galavanting around fighting for peace and justice. So ,
naturally, I decided to let her down with a little note of my own. Autolycus-
I'm sure she was crushed. Joxer- I, uh, did takes bits and pieces
from Gabrielle's scroll... Gabrielle- Do you have one of my
scrolls?! Joxer- Oh, well... Xena- Go
on with your story, Joxer. Joxer- Just a minute! Some
people, boy, I'll tell ya. What the.... Revenica- Well, if it
isn't the famous assassin himself. Going a little soft aren't you, Jed? Joxer-
You see, she had mistaken me for my villainous twin brother, Jed, happens all the time.
Ya got the wrong guy... Revenica- Can it...I got bigger fish
on the line, but I'm warning you Jed, get in my way and this won't be the only thing I rip
into. Lavender? You are getting soft. 2,533kb
wav or 1,228kb mp3
- Xena- I'm gonna want some straight answers. Starting with
you! Joxer- Me? What have I got to hide? Xena- Nothing
but this...you want it, huh...want it... Joxer- Xena...give it!
Xena- Now this has been missing from Revenica's things
since we unpacked them. I wouldn't mind betting that that third bounty scroll is
somewhere in your bedroom somewhere...correctamundo? Joxer-
A...a...a...a... Autolycus- Where do you think you're
going...killer? Joxer- Uh...oh...okay, okay! 744kb wav or 365kb mp3
- Xena- You did that for me? 23kb wav
or 12kb mp3
- Xena- If your not satisfied, you can take me 59kb wav or 32kb mp3
- Xena- I'm really, really sorry that I suspected you. Cyrene-
I'm not...cause it's true, I would kill to protect you Xena. Any mother who loves
her child would. I'm just glad I don't have to. 466kb
wav or 228kb mp3
- Zapped- 52kb wav or 24kb
mp3
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