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Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.


This story depicts a love/sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story.


Please, forgive me for any injury I could have done to English language and for a lack of style. As a Brazilian grrrl, I’d rather to be writing in Portuguese.

Forget Us Not, Scherahzade!

A Metalinguistic Clip Show Fan Fiction!

By Vange Leonel. (


X = Xena G = GabriellePA = Princess Audi


First Act: Persia

Xena and Gabrielle are travelling through Persia in order to complete a very important mission. The Warrior Princess and her sidekick have to take a highly valuable treasure, the Lilith Crown, to the Temple of Lilith, near the Euphrates River. Curiously, until now, nothing wrong had happened: no thieves, no assassins, no Aphrodite’s spells, nothing, absolutely nothing had happened that could delay or prevent our heroines to complete their mission. Could it be because of the magic power of Lilith? (Who knows... never doubt the power of this Adam’s twin).

Entering TVrahan, one of the biggest cities of Euphrates region, Xena tells her partner that she’ll continue travelling alone, and Gabrielle must wait for her return there.

X – Stay here and find us a good place to sleep. When I’m back, I’ll have a pretty hot shower and a great dinner.

X – Why, can’t I go with you?

X – Gabrielle, the Temple of Lilith is in a very hard place to reach. I want this mission to be done quickly, and you’d only delay me. If I finish this delivery in three days, we can have two more for ourselves before we catch the boat to Greece. We could take a ride on a Magic Carpet of a friend of mine and have a lot of fun... wouldn’t you like it?

X – Magic Carpet? Are you kidding?

X – No, its a promise. I’m gonna take you to places that you’ve never dreamed before... But to do this I’ll have to complete this mission as soon as possible... Don’t worry about me, its gonna be an easy task for me.

X – I’m always worrying about you...

X – I know... and I love you for being so. But now I have to go. Take care!

Xena set on to the Temple and Gabrielle, wondering how terrific a flight in a Magic Carpet would be, starts looking for a place to rest. Reaching TVrahan’s Main Square, she is surrounded by a group of very poor children who keep asking her for money. Gabrielle feels sorry for them, give a few dinars, but also thinks that’s not enough.

X – These children need more than money.

Gab, then, calls the children to sit around her and starts telling one of those fascinating stories that she tells so wonderfully. Soon after, the Square gets very crowded for the adults also join the children to listen to Gabrielle. Among these people there is a very well dressed woman who looks enchanted by the bard. She calls two guards that are accompanying her and demands:

PA – Take this woman to my palace!

The guards go to Gabrielle, who reacts and kicks one of them, beats the other, twists her staff, but can’t resist any longer and is finally arrested.


Second Act: Inside the Palace

Gabrielle is brought to a beautiful and rich furnished room. The walls are full of colors, with small tiles composing magnificent mosaics, gold framed mirrors, velvet curtains and silk pillows. Whoever arrested her must be, undoubtedly, a very tasty and chic person, thought Gabrielle. So, she recognizes the woman who was in the Square, and who demanded her arrest. The woman comes near the bard:

PA – Let me introduce myself... I’m princess Audi!

X – And you have this awful habit of bringing your guests tied up to your palace?

PA – Untie her!

The guards untie Gabrielle.

PA - I rarely invite anyone to my palace... besides, you’re not a guest, you’re a prisoner.

X – Could you tell me what I did to harm you?

PA – You tell wonderful stories.

X – Is telling stories an illicit practice here?

PA – On the contrary. I need people to tell me stories very bad. You know, a long time ago, the Furies cast a spell on me because... well, it doesn’t matter why they did this. The only thing you must know is that those bitches turned my heart into a stone! Since then, I’ve never felt any emotion, I haven’t had any feeling, nothing!

X – Oh, poor thing. Is there anything you can do to undo the spell?

PA – Unfortunately, there isn’t. I’ve tried all the ways to undo the spell and nothing has worked out. But one of the Furies came to me with a proposal: the day I find someone able enough to tell me a moving and touching story I can have my heart back. The bad new is that if this person can’t bring my feelings back, then I shall kill him... or her.

X – You mean that...

PA – Yes, you must tell me a moving love story... otherwise I shall kill you! Go on... I’m all ears.

Gabrielle, trying to keep her panic away, thinks what Xena would do. She also thinks that her friend would be back in three days, and thus, all she has to do is to involve Princess Audi in a thrilling story that could never finish.

X – All right, I’m gonna tell you the story of a great Warrior Princess. Xena – that’s her name – was a bloody murderer, who killed whoever crossed her way. The world had never known anyone so cruel. But one day she met he great hero Hercules, who showed her the way of good deeds and told Xena that she could redeem herself from the past sins. Actually, by having an affair with Hercules, she had awaken for love...

Princess Audi sighs bored.

PA – And...?

X – Well, from then on she began a career of heroin and defender of the weakest and the poorest.

PA – Hercules and Xena together?

X – No, they had to split.

PA – Is this the great love story you’d tell me? It doesn’t seem moving enough: they split on the end.

Princess Audi raises her sword and comes near Gabrielle, who keeps thinking in a good way to bring the Princess interest back to her story.

X – Wait! I didn’t tell you the best part of it yet.

PA – By the Gods! Go straight to the point, then!

X – As you please, Princess... So one day, while Xena was fighting to free a small group of people in a Village called Poteidaia, she met a lovely girl called Gabrielle. The Warrior felt somewhat responsible for that girl and noticed something special about her: that girl made Xena always remind of her good side. But the Warrior, feeling the weight of the devil upon her shoulders, told the girl that someone so pure and innocent as Gab couldn’t trust a murderer like Xena. But what she could never wonder was that Gabrielle, so pure, so generous, nevertheless asked Xena to let her join her, and told her that she trusted her and would help her on her way to redemption. She had convinced the Warrior to take her as a partner...

PA – Go on...

X – Thus, they began to travel together, fighting all the sort of evil, freeing innocent people, and nothing could tear them apart. In Gabrielle, Xena found out the family that she missed, the best friend and... Well, actually, they were more than best friends: they felt for each other a deep, complete and unconditional love!

PA – And they were happy for ever and ever?

X – Oh, no... The Fates were keeping an eye on the couple, preparing few surprises for both of them. Although they were meant to each other, the future was not to be so bright.

PA – So tell me.

X – Not today, Princess... it’s too late. My voice is getting tired, I need some rest, some sleep. Your Highness wouldn’t want me to have a sore throat, would you? If this happens I won’t be able to tell the end of this story...

Princess Audi gets upset but agrees with the bard. She thinks it wouldn’t be a good idea to kill Gab before she finishes Xena’s saga. So, Audi decides to wait for the next day and order the guards to take the bard to the dungeon.


Third Act: The Next Day

Princess Audi, anxious and curious, is in her bedroom, lying in bed, when the guards come in bringing Gabrielle. Audi stands up, most excited and order the guards to leave. Then, she asks the bard to sit beside her.

PA – C’mon, bard! Tell me, what happened with Xena and Gabrielle?

X – Well... I must tell you something: before Gabrielle, Xena had met one of her most ferocious enemies, Julius Caesar. He betrayed her, then tied her up in a cross and demanded his soldiers to break her legs. Xena could never forget this betrayal. Years later, along with Gabrielle, Xena went to Britain to battle beside Boadicea, against Caesar. She was so mad about Caesar that she forgot Gabrielle, who has been caught in a trap by the evil god Dahak. Dahak planted a seed in Gabrielle’s body, and she gave birth to an evil daughter. Soon Xena noticed the evil nature of that child but the sweet and caring Gabrielle, at the highest of her maternal instinct, couldn’t see the truth. Xena demanded her to kill the child – called Hope - but Gabrielle didn’t, and worse, told nothing to Xena. That was the first betrayal of Gabrielle. Half a moon later, when the Warrior Princess was called to China to pay an old debt, Gabrielle betrayed her for the second time...

PA – Uh... this is getting really thrilling... what did she do?

X – Gabrielle? Well, she found out that Xena was going to the East to kill Ming Tien, a tyrant Emperor. Of course, Gabrielle couldn’t stand her friend going to practice a murder. So, she made a deal with Ares and menaged do keep Xena from killing the Emperor by denouncing her to Ming Tien. But, what Gab didn’t expect was that Ming Tien failed with his word and, instead of letting them go, he condemned Xena to death! Gabrielle, ashamed and regretting what she had done, thought that Xena would never forgive her. Could she have done this for jealousy? After all, what Xena wanted to pay back was a debt of love she had contracted when she met Lao Ma, a kind of antecessor of Gabrielle in Xena’s life... But the love they felt for each other was bigger than any hate, fear or betrayal, and they’d overcome all the barriers and turned to be friends again...

PA – And they hugged and kissed each other?

X – Actually, Xena asked Gabrielle to scratch her nose, isn’t it funny? ... And touching?

PA – Her nose?

X – But Xena was still condemned, and there was nothing that Gab could do to free her friend, and worse: the execution day had come! The Warrior Princess then, was brought to the sacrifice table, where she was tied in chains. Therefore just about the time she would be killed, Xena remembered everything Lao Ma had taught her and, for love, and because of love, she broke the chains, fought bravely and destroyed Ming Tien’s palace completely. Once more, everything ended well. Gabrielle, proud because her friend hadn’t killed the Chinese tyrant, told Xena that she loved her. The Warrior told her back that she loved her too... But Gabrielle couldn’t notice that Xena’s face was hiding a bitter secret...

PA – Secret? What secret?

X – Your Highness, it’s late... why don’t we leave the last part of the story for tomorrow? You know... my voice.

The Princess, a little mistrusted of Gabrielle’s intentions wonders if the bard wasn’t making a fool of her. She thinks if it wouldn’t be a good idea to kill her immediately, but she’s still deadly curious. And, after all, Audi could swear that she almost felt her heart beating again. So, she decides to give one more chance and ask to the guards to take her away. But before she does it, she says:

PA – That’s all right... But tomorrow, if you can’t move me with this pseudo love story of yours, I’m gonna kill you!


Fourth Act: Would She Come In Time?

Gabrielle is brought again to Princess Audi’s bedroom. This time, the bard is quite nervous, thinking whether Xena is coming or not. Will she come in time to save her from that insatiable Princess?

PA – So... what was the secret?

X – Secret? Oh, yeah... Well summing up: Xena killed Ming Tien and didn’t tell Gabrielle about it. Gab, for her part, had not told Xena about not having killed her own child. Then everything went worse, as if a turmoil of lies and betrayals had reached its highest. One day, Hope, Gab’s demon daughter, showed up and killed Xena’s son, Solan.

PA – Uh... it seems like a Greek Tragedy!

X – It is, indeed! Didn’t I tell you that they were Greeks? Well, the point is, although she was only trying to protect her child, Gabrielle felt really guilty. If she had killed Hope, as Xena had told her to, Solan would be alive. The young girl was hurt inside, as Xena was, and tried to ask her forgiveness. But Xena was blaming her for all that had happened and couldn’t forgive this once beloved friend. So, under Ares inspiration, the Warrior Princess decided to kill that ex-friend throwing her from a cliff. But Gabrielle had learned a lot with the Warrior and, when she was about to fall, she kicked Xena’s face and both of them ended falling from the cliff, sinking in the deep waters of the sea!

PA – Oh, did they die?

X – No. Mysteriously, they entered a world of fantasy, like a dream world. There, Xena killed Gabrielle... well, she didn’t kill her in fact, just metaphorically. Everything there was like a dream – or a nightmare, in their case. The point is, that in that world of fantasy, they could discuss, argue, they told each other all they’d always wanted to tell, could solve their issues and finally both of them noticed that was hate what they had to fight against. And then, in one of the most beautiful moments of their lives, they learned that their love was bigger, deeper and more important than hate and none of them guilty for their children’s deaths. Xena asked Gabrielle to forgive her, told her she had always loved her, then she held her hand and...

PA – They kissed each other passionately?

X – Well, they...

Before Gabrielle finishes her line, they hear a loud noise of things cracking around. The bard looks back and sees Xena, who bursts into the room through the window, yelling:

X – Ay-iy-iy-iy-iy-iy-iy-iy-iy!!

X – Xena!

Xena jumps near Gabrielle and they hug each other.

X – Gabrielle! I’ve looked for you everywhere!

Princess Audi raises her sword, ready for a fight.

X - ... and you must be Princess Audi. Can you tell me why you’ve kidnapped my friend?

PA – Friend? So you’re Xena and she’s Gabrielle... What a wonderful surprise! She told me about you... I must tell you: you seem to be more than just "friends"!

X – Better have a good explanation for all this.

PA – I owe you no explanation!

X – Let’s get out of here Gabrielle, otherwise I’m gonna crack this bitche’s face!

PA – If she leaves, she dies!

X – Oh yeah?! ...And who is gonna kill her? You?

PA – Not me... the Furies. They take my body and make me kill the bards who can’t move me with their fables... I should tell you that Gabrielle was almost doing it! She got this close to bring my heart back by telling your adventures, Xena... this close! But she failed. And now, she must die!

X – I don’t think so! I’ll kill you if you move a finger towards her!


Fifth Act: Conclusion

Still in Audi’s bedroom, Xena jumps with her sword towards Princess Audi and they start fighting. Gabrielle objects and places herself between the two women and stops that battle.

X – Xena, no! There’s must be another way out! All we have to do is to break the spell the Furies have cast on her. We only have to find a way to do it. Think... the Furies agreed that the Princess would have her heart back when someone, as talented and sensitive as myself, could touch her with a moving love story. And I told her all about our lives Xena... I couldn’t think of any story as moving and touching as ours...

X – And it didn’t work?

X – Nope! Some detail must be missing...

X – Maybe if the Princess does tell us all that happened, since the very beginning... So, Audi, why have the Furies played such a bloody joke on you?

PA – That’s a long story...

X – Don’t worry, I'm a fan of story telling. Now it’s your turn to entertain us... or you should die!

Xena puts her sword close to Audi’s neck and the Princess starts telling all she knows.

PA – All right. But keep this sword away from my neck... I need to breathe, you know... my voice!

Xena steps back, but always keeping an eye upon the Princess.

PA – First of all, let me tell you my real name. They used to call me Princess Lesbian Audience. I was born in Lesbos Island and was kidnapped as a young girl by slaves’ merchants. We were celebrating the Pride Day, all lesbians parading together, all my family, when those barbarians attacked us. They killed everyone over ten – only the younger ones interested them because of the high market value of a lesbian virgin in the Slavery Stock. It was painful to watch all my family being murdered that way: my mother, my other mother, and my sisters...

X – Did you have two moms?

X – Things are a little different in Lesbos, Gabrielle...

PA – Things could be worse. My great luck was that I was sold to a very good-hearted Queen. She brought me to TVrahan to live in her palace and she taught me everything about life and never, never did she treat me as a slave. She taught me to read, to ride, and more: she loved me. In Lesbos, you should know, it’s usual a woman falling in love with another woman. And we fell in love with each other, but we had to live this love in the undergrounds. Nobody could learn that we were lovers. You should know, Xena, how politics are: power arouses envy and jealousy. The Prime Minister, a guy called Sponsor Advertiser, a really disgusting but powerful guy, found out about our little secret and started a blackmail. My Queen and I got really disoriented. If we were denounced, we would be condemned to death. So, we decided that the only way to cope with that situation was by killing Advertiser. My Queen, then, invited him for a sword duel. She killed him, but not before she also got hurt by Advertiser’s smart cutting blade. Unfortunately, she couldn’t resist for a long time... and died a few days later.

X – Oh, poor thing...

PA – Yeah... poor me. I really don’t expect you to understand my love for My Queen, but you should know, I’d never felt such a pain. Before she died, my beloved Queen made me her successor and I was to rule her reign. Although most people here didn’t agree with my coronation, they had to accept it. Everything would be all right – besides my pain and my inner torture – but what I didn’t know at that time, was that Advertiser had made a deal with the Furies in case he died. The Furies were to cast a spell on me to make me never fall in love again, neither with men, nor with women. Since then, my heart turned into a stone... and I only would get it back, you know...

X – Yeah... when some bard tell you a wonderful and exciting love story!

X – Wait! I know what was missing in my stories!

X – What?

X – C’mon, Xena...

Xena comes near Gabrielle.

X – Closer...

She comes closer and Gabrielle holds Xena’s face with both hands, looks deep inside her blue eyes, put her mouth very close to Xena’s and kisses her, long and passionately. Xena gets surprised at first, but gives herself up to that sensation. Princess Lesbian Audience keeps watching the two women, seduced by that sweet and French kiss, and suddenly feels something beating fast in her chest – her heart is back!

Meanwhile, Xena and Gabrielle stop kissing and look at each other.

X – By the Gods, Gabrielle... Why haven’t we ever done this before? This is so much better than a ride in a Magic Carpet! I could never imagine that your kisses were so...

Gabrielle can’t wait for Xena to finish her talk and kisses her again and again. Xena pulls the girl against her breasts and sighs, unable to detach her lips from Gabrielle’s. Princess Lesbian Audience is happier than ever:

PA – Girls, my heart! It’s beating! The spell has gone!

But Xena and Gabrielle are too busy to pay attention to the Princess of Lesbos. They keep on kissing, while lying in bed, and start taking off their clothes, ignoring the presence of Audi. They make love as they have finally found out the true meaning of their lives together. And then, Xena, with her finger inside Gabrielle, whispers:

X – I love you, Gabrielle...

X – I love you too, Xena...

Princess Lesbian Audience, who is sitting in her throne, watching everything, as a voyeur, says:

PA – By the Gods, I love you two!

The End

No Lesbian Pride was harmed during the writing of this fan-fiction screenplay, although the filming production ran out of budget because of Sponsor Advertiser’s death.


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