Xena: THE THIEF OF SECRETS

or

CAPER, CAPER

by Ryan Dever

the guards react instantly to the intruder.

Xena clangs the guards' heads together from behind

he crouches at the door, springs the latch as though it were nothing and stands.

With sword in hand Xena kicks the door in and punches the first person she sees.

The ropes run through the center of the platform where there is a stack of gears with a double handle, like on railway hand cars. Gabrielle grabs three metallic gold jump suits from hooks on the wall as Xena rolls two barrels of lamp oil on as well as a few bricks of phosphorus. Xena and Autolycus take the handles.

Xena snaps her end down and Autolycus catches his in the chin.

they start pumping and lift off, the camera tilts to follow and we see that the stairs spiral up the walls which converge in darkness. This is the main shaft, it goes the remaining 250 feet to the top.

Gabrielle and Xena trade places. Xena starts to pull her suit on over her armor, the combination of oiled and ash black skin with gold weave makes her look like something out of a Carl Lagerfeld show. A low drone starts and grows.

By now she is shouting to be heard over the wind which sucks at their hair and cloths.

There is a noise below.

guy#1 goes to the door in the floor just as Xena comes up. He is startled, she reaches for her chakram which is covered by the jump suit.

she grabs him by the face and hurls him down the stairs behind her. In the room below Gabrielle and Autolycus (in gold now) are unloading the oil. Gabrielle sees guy#1 first as he starts to stand, she forearms his upper chest, his head cracks off the wall, then she sweeps his feet and he continues to roll down the stairs. With no landings to stop him now there is an endless succession of "Ooo! Ow! Ouch!".

We get a good look at the room, several barrels of oil stand open against the wall. Four inch pipes lead from the barrels through the ceiling, the pipes appear to be packed with huge wicks.

CUT TO: Gabrielle and Autolycus entering the Watch room. Guy#2 is still standing, Xena gives him one of her feather weight face pushes and he drops into a chair. Xena looks at the cards

Xena opens the door at the top of the stairs and the brilliance factor is astounding. The three of them look away as they done their goggles, then enter the room. SOFT HORIZONTAL STAR FILTER, APERTURE OPEN ONE STOP TOO WIDE: The floor is mirror smooth marble, the wall on the half that faces the city is covered in hammered and polished silver. The half that faces the sea is glass, each pane looks like a giant Fresnel lens. In the center is the source of the god like brilliance, a fire howls in a circular three foot (3 ft.) cage about four feet (4 ft.) off the ground. It is fed by the pipes we saw earlier. Behind the fire mounted on a circular track about the cage is a four foot (4 ft.) parabolic mirror. Mounted to the same apparatus as the mirror is a series of gear arms and lenses which are pointed to the ceiling away from the fire. The roof is supported by eight pillars and made of huge sheets of sliced amber with a chimney in the middle.

Frustrated at not being able to cut the moving rope he jams his dagger between a block and its wheel and pries until the pin pops. There is a great thunk as the platform drops a foot and bounces. CUT TO THE PLATFORM: guards stumble, one or two actually fall over the edge. The ones with bows take aim at the top of the shaft and let fly. CUT TO TOP OF THE LIFT: Oblivious Autolycus continues to work. Xena enters, looks at Autolycus, then down the shaft at the arrows that have no chance of getting this high and in fact are already starting to fall back at the platform.

she rolls a barrel to the stairs. CUT TO THE PLATFORM: guards cover themselves as their own arrows rain back at them. CUT TO TOP OF THE LIFT: the last of the block and tackle comes free as does Autolycus, realizing too late his mistake. He falls less then four feet when Xena hauls him to safety.

both look over the edge at the screaming. There is a distant echoing crash. Torches are coming up the stairs.

during this last the two have rolled the barrel Xena moved up the stairs to the watch room.

Gabrielle gets down, doodles a few sketches. Autolycus pushes the silver panel out of the way, climbs the mirrors' stand then stands on top of the mirror itself to reach the ceiling. The apparatus protests as he pops a ceiling panel and throws the bag up. He steps on a gear arm, the lenses fall into place causing the room to dim a bit.

the beam falls on a patch of sea which starts to steam.

she tugs at the lever but it's bent, the lenses are stuck in place. She pulls another lever closing the aperture in the second parabolic mirror which dims the room to nearly normal. On the roof Autolycus has the end of the giant silk bag over the chimney and is flapping hot air into it. Battle sounds from downstairs, Gabrielle goes to help.

Xena and Gabrielle hold them off for a bit.

Gabrielle does just that.

Xena pushes one guard into the others to buy time and is quickly with Gabrielle at the top of the next stairs. As the guards surge after her we see that there are at least a dozen of them. Xena and Gabrielle hold them again.

and he is right the balloon is trying to fly. It's taking all his strength and a few ropes to hold it down.

Gabrielle goes. She climbs the mirror and stand, Autolycus gives her a final boost and slips. Close up: His foot moves the aperture lever which opens. Hanging by both hands from the ceiling he kicks to get up and sets the gun spinning. Xena dives further into the room as the man in front of her boils to nothing, his black and cracked bones falling to the floor still holding his weapons. There is a moment as all in combat look to see what the beam is doing. It continues its clockwise spin forcing Xena farther into the room. The guards surge forward. The beam hits the silver panels and the guards are blinded by the tremendous diffusion flash. The gun stops turning so that the beam spills through the gap where Xena took the silver panel earlier.

EXT. ROOF OF THE PHAROS. NIGHT.
Gabrielle is in the balloon basket, which is made of collapsible round mettle ribs and the back pack. She sees the beam fall on the city, its cone squarely on the library.

The library erupts in a literal fountain of fire. Books are drawn up the incinerating thermals and flaming pages float out over the city. Gabrielle falls silent, she tears the golden hood and goggles from her head and stares. CUTAWAY: All those books burning. Shelves and shelves and shelves of them, whole rooms.

A guard swings at Autolycus' feet on the gun. He hops out of the way and the gun swings back vaporizing his assailant and forcing the guards back down the stairs. Xena cracks the wax and throws the phosphorus down the stairs. It lands on the oil barrel they left in the watch room for just that purpose and bursts into flame. The lid is almost instantly gone and the barrel explodes. Flaming oil spills down the stairs igniting other barrels and liquid fire rains down the shaft to the storage rooms below.

The beam continues its counter-clockwise spin back at Xena. She looks, it spins, she flips her sword around and throws it like a spear. Lenses and mirrors shatter, the fire is sputtering because the barrels are cracked and burning. Xena retrieves her sword and gets to the roof as the guards run back into the room fleeing the fire beneath them.

EXT. ROOF OF THE PHAROS. NIGHT.
Autolycus and Xena cut the ropes and the balloon rises fast. COMPOSITE SHOT: We look down as the balloon and its passengers rise past us, the Pharos is far below.

As this line is finished there is a bright flash in the windows at the base of the tower. We hear the sound we heard earlier at the draft holes but much louder until the Pharos sounds like a giant wind instrument. Suddenly the top is engulfed in flame, the tower looks like a huge road flare. Gabrielle is very quiet, watching the library burn.

but her eyes glitter in the dark more than they should

Gabrielle taps Xena on the shoulder. She turns, Gabrielle points at a line of dust following them in the distance.

Back in the balloon Autolycus has hooked a cooking pot under the hole and has something burning in it.

and indeed it's not, one more shot of the riders. PULL BACK to reveal that they are at the balloon which is twenty feet up and dropping, but moving fast. The Arabs have their swords up and do not look friendly.

a dagger spangs off the pot.

Xena crouches at the edge of the basket and drops on the lead horse. After tossing the rider she goes after the rest of them, Ibn Fadlan is smart enough to stay clear of her. The basket hits, still moving fast, and stuff goes everywhere including Gabrielle and Autolycus. The balloon drags the basket as the horses pursue and Xena tries to run interference. One of the Arabs hacks at the balloon which comes apart and soon stops but there is still much action. Gabrielle and Autolycus scurrying about in the debris, horses prancing on billowing silk, Warrior Princesses doing their worst. Suddenly Ibn Fadlan has a dagger to Autolycus throat.

she is kneeling next to the still burning pot holding the papers high.

Ibn Fadlan considers slitting Autolycus throat and for the first time smiles. He pats Autolycus on the cheek.

he laughs loudly and goes to his horse, as do his men. Just before leaving he turns his mount back.

Xena, Autolycus, and Gabrielle are alone again. They are a mess; soot and sweat streek their faces, Xena more than the others because of her camouflage. All of them have bruises, scrapes, or fat lips. They pick up their stuff and as they walk away from us we see the plans for the Pharos and the balloon sticking out of Gabrielle's scroll case.

They disappear into the desert heat.

THE END