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Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.


GODLINGS
by Ryan Dever
quoth@shaw.wave.ca

Just a quick preface. I wrote this a few weeks after seeing "Necessary Evil" which means I wrote this in the middle of season 2. It's nearly impossible to forget what we've seen in season 3 (if you've seen season 3) but try. This is an alternate course of events. Naturally I knew nothing of Hope when I wrote this but as for the rest... well let's just say it's funny how some things are inevitable once you have the characters. I hope you enjoy it.

1. AS ON EARTH, SO IN HELL

SCENE 1

Tableau with dialogue; Callisto and Valaska, imprisioned in lava, vent their frustrations verbaly. Oddly Callisto is the calm one, willing to wait.

SCENE 2

The story of Pan and Syrinx is quickly enacted. Cloven hoofed Pan is desperatly in love with Syrinx, a member of Artimus' hunting party. He finds her bathing in a stream, sneaks up on her but when he makes to grab her he gets nothing but arms full of reeds. Syrinx and Artimuses snicker at him from the far side of the stream and disapear into the forest. Pan makes pipes out of the reeds and plays his sorrow.

SCENE 3

Establish the whereabouts of our heroes. Hercules, Iolus, Xena, Gabrielle and Ephany are at the Olympics with a large contingent of Amazons and most of the worlds heroes.

Gabrielle is entered in the poetry contest (they really had one). Ephany thinks the Queen of the Amazons should do something related to Artimus not Athena, but hey, she's the Queen she can do whatever she wants.

Hercules is mediator of the negotiations between warring states which are held every four years.

SCENE 4

Strife sets Callisto and Valaska free of the lava. He is, after all, the God of strife, he doesn't need a war to gain power just strife and these two gals are experts.

SCENE 5

Valaska plots to overthrow Artimus as Goddess of the Amazons.

She talks to Pan about Syrinx and says that she will get her for him if he disallows all hunting in his forests.

The lack of hunting weakens the Amazons and lessens Artimus' prayer base. If a hunter can't make a kill they wont offer thanks to Artimus.

SCENE 6

Callisto finds the Xena look-a-like Meg sucking face with Joxer and kills her.

She is very upset to discover that its not Xena and tells Joxer to tell Xena that she's back. He tells her to go to Hades.

She thinks its a good idea and already knows the directions.

SCENE 7

Valaska gets a bucket of the river Styx.

Callisto uses this as cover to steal Charon's boat and sneak into Hades while Charon is distracted by Cerberus barking at Valaska.

SCENE 8

Valaska uses her bucket of the Styx (the waters of forgetfulness) to make the Amazons that aren't at the Olympics forget and then she tells them a goddly lie. “Gabrielle is a usurper and is attempting to raise a false Goddess for the Amazons, Artimus. Gabrielle must be killed and Artimus defiled to restore the rightful Amazonian Goddess to power, Valaska, the Goddess of conquest.”

A band of Amazons who were trading for food escape Valaskas plan.

SCENE 9

A war ensues as the Amazons defile Artimus temples and annex villages on their way to burnt out, half deserted Troy, which will be their new capital.

SCENE 10

Gabrielle and the other Amazons (20 +) are at the Olympics. Artimus appears to Ephany as she prays before a match and demands to see Hercules.

Artimus explains what is happening and that she is afraid to look into it herself because Pan has turned the forests against her. She is so weak that she had to wait until Ephany prayed to her before she could manifest herself.

SCENE 11

Xena, Gabrielle, Hercules, Iolus and the Amazons go to Troy to find out whats going on.

They enter Troy as allies of the city but it is a trap.

All escape alive thanks to Gabrielle catching the arrows meant for her with her staff and Hercules holding up the portcullis.

SCENE 12

Callisto starts a rebellion in Tartarus.


2. UP STYX CREEK

SCENE 13

Joxer arrives at Troy with the message for Xena.

There is a skirmish with the Amazons of Troy who are called Valaskans.

Ephany captures and tries to talk to one of the Valaskans but her memory is gone and she doesn't remember Ephany.

SCENE 14

Callisto lays siege to Hades castle with an army of the residents of Tarterus.

Hades makes sure that Persephone escapes through the portal to Olympus before he destroys it so that Callisto can't use it.

The portals look like giant spinning coins. Hades has three of them. One each for Olympus, Tarterus, and Earth.

Callisto takes the castle and imprisons Hades in something suitable as he had done to so many others.

She then tells Cerberus not to let anyone into Hades.

SCENE 15

Hermes shows up for Hercules and Xena and takes them to Olympus.

Gabrielle is left with the Amazons, Iolus and Joxer.

Gabrielle does leadership stuff. Learns to make tough Queen decisions.

The Amazon hunting party shows up.

SCENE 16

Demeter, Persephone and Artimus ask Hercules and Xena for help.

Give info about Callisto and Valaska, some talk about how they got free.

Get weapons from Hephestus. Xena gets a forearm shield.

HEPHESTUS
As long as you wear this no weapon can harm you.

I'm not sure what Hercules gets, he's so hard to shop for.

SCENE 17

The Valaskans stage a raid and capture Gabrielle so that they can sacrifice her to Valaska.

First they rack her between horses. Then they cut her Achilles tendons. Finally she is hung from a stake by the wrists and burned, as the flames rise about her Valaska walks through the fire to her and says

VALASKA
You were never an Amazon, little girl, a real queen. When they're done with you I'm going to eat your steaming heart.

GABRIELLE
I hope you choke on it.

Valaska slowly slides her knife across Gabrielles stomach intending to spill her guts on the hot coals.Ephany and Joxer have been watching from some high perch and Joxer is having a fit because there's nothing he can do. Ephany srings her bow and blinks away the tears to aim.

JOXER
What are you doing?

EPHANY
I have to, she's suffering

JOXER
(staring at Gabrielle) Do it. ( the shot is loosed. A pause of perhaps a second then Joxer squeezes his eyes shut and turns away.)

EPHANY
RUN!

We hear Valasca's scream rising in the distance.

SCENE 18

Callisto takes the portal to Earth and steals eggs from Typhon and Ikidna.

Then mixes them with her own blood and makes hideous pets.“I never thought Id be a mommy.”

SCENE 19


With the Underworld in disarray Gabby wakes-up on the shores of the Styx with no way to get across.

CHARON
Charon, boatman for the Styx and all points after life. How can I help you?

GABRIELLE
Gabrielle, Queen - former Queen of the Amazons.

CHARON
Yeah, even royalty ends up as worm food. Well I suppose I should offer you a ride but I don't have a boat anymore. Some chick stole it. Hey, maybe she was one of yours. Tall, blond, kinda scary round the eyes.

GABRIELLE
Look, I'd love to chat but I've just had a really horrible death and I need to get to the after life so I can tell someone that Valaska is trying to take Artimus' place.(contemplates the black waters) It doesn't look so bad, I could swim.

CHARON
What are you nuts? This is the Styx, lady, anything that touches that water forgets everything and that's IF it gets out alive.

GABRIELLE
I'm already dead.

CHARON
Theres deader than dead believe me. You're not getting in this way. Even if we could cross, that mutt's gone crazy. The blond told him not to let anyone in.

GABRIELLE
(finally figuring it out) Callisto... We have to tell someone. Valaska is bad enough but Callisto will destroy the world. What about Elysium? I can go up stream to Elysium, right?

CHARON
Up stream?! Woah, girlie, you need a an extra-planer geography lesson. Up stream is where this river comes from. Which is somewhere deeper than the bottom of Tarterus which is a bad place anyway, especially for someone like yourself who's obviously not going there. But now that that crazy woman's in control-

GABRIELLE
In control?! She's running Tarterus?! Every villain murderers, warlords, tyrants... lawyers. Let's go. Right now, c'mon.


she uses Charon as a guide on her journey down the banks of the Styx to Elysium.

SCENE 20

Callisto and her army of darkness rally at the gates of Hell and begin a march to Elysium.

They are on the opposite side of the Styx from Gabrielle who is faster because she is with Charon.

SCENE 21

After getting weapons from Hephestus Hercules and Xena return to Troy.

Iolus and Ephany are making an army out of the displaced people in the Valaskans wake.

Xena is told about Gabrielle and gets a serious case of blood lust.

Big argument with Ephany about killing the Valaskans.

EPHANY
They're my friends, my sisters. We share blood.

XENA
They are not your sisters anymore! They don't remember you, me, their Queen or even their God. They've been seduced... corrupted by an evil bitch. They're mad. Look at them! (quietly) Even if they are your friends, Gabrielle was your blood-sister and your Queen and you had no problem killing her. Think of it as mercy.

SCENE 22

While Charon scouts ahead Gabrielle is confronted by a Sea Hag in the stygian swamps who wants to eat her. As usual her tongue and brain save her but not without a scuffle. After which she finds a deserted building that looks like a cross between a castle and a cathedral. She sits to wait for Charons return and immediately falls asleep. In a dilapidated spooky building. In a frozen lightless swamp. On the shores of a river that runs to Hell.. Think maybe it was a bad idea?

SCENE 23

With Artimus' help Hercules & Xena lay siege to Troy which falls because Valaska is too busy opening a portal to The Happy Hunting Grounds to help her Valaskans defend it.

Valaska steps through the portal and into a trap. She ends up hanging upside-down by one foot holding on to the spiked branch that was suppose to impale her.

A smaller group of Amazons reach Valaska's temple first and get sucked through the portal as it fluctuates.

When Artimus, Hercules, Iolus, Xena & Ephany reach Valaska's temple she and the first group are gone but the portal is still open.

Artimus rushes them through before it collapses.

SCENE 24

Gabrielle wakes with a start then goes exploring. At the back of the castle she finds a stone pier with a derelict funeral barge tied to it. On closer inspection it's infested with zombies and a death knight but she needs the transportation so she grabs a metal flag poll mounted on the deck and cleans house.

The death knight is attacking Gabrielle and things look bad but then Charon shows up.

CHARON
Hey! Why don't you pick on someone your own age?

The death knight swings, Charon parries with his poll.

CHARON
Is that all you got? (Hammers the Death Knight in the face) C'mon baby show me what you got.

the Death Knight drops low for a dragon kick. Charon hops over the kick and returns with one of his own putting the Death Knight on his back.

CHARON
What, you got rigormortus or something you sissy? I've seen continental drift move faster. Get up!

the Death Knight does a handspring to standing and immediately into a swing. Charon ducks and uses the knights inertia to throw him clear across the room. The Death Knight stands up extremely pissed, ready to charge.

CHARON
Oh yeah, baby. C'mon, show me what ya got! Ya nasty bag of worms.

the Death Knight charges, Charon braces. At the last instant Charon sidesteps and clotheslines the knight who tabletops to the level of Charons arm and then his head comes off and rolls into the corner. As the head watches Charon smashes his foot through the rusted and dusty chest plate like a finishing move from Mortal Kombat.

DEATH KNIGHT
Oh, hey! You didn't have to do that.

CHARON
Teach you to mess with the man.

Gaby gets Charon to pilot her down river.


3. HAPPY HUNTING

SCENE 25

The first party through Valaska's gate is hunted down. Short but nasty.

SCENE 26

The second group come through at a different location because the portal was fluctuating. Artimus immediately closes her three portals to prevent Valasca from escaping and explains the rules. “In The Happy Hunting Grounds all things are equal, Valaska may be a God but she is in a God's realm.”

SCENE 27

Gabrielle & Charon come to an abyss. The Styx falls away to nothingness but on the far side of the cavern is the extra planer river Oceanus. This is the short cut to Elysium, the soft vallys that lie at the foot of Olympus. Callisto must take her army the long way.

Charon can't go any farther all he can do his help Gabrielle across the cavern.

After crossing the cavern Gabrielle falls into the Oceanus, the shot swirls and when she surfaces she is on the shores of Elysium.

She meets Purdicus and at first he doesn't remember anything so she pricks her finger and writes in blood.

Do you remember that summers day?
The night before, with me you lay
and all the world did seem at play
to we within our joy.

Since youth betrothed to you, and yet,
I'd never have thought I'd never forget
the man who would make me want to beget
a child with him to share.

One callous cut from savage pride
to exact her price apon the bride.
The wind itself through grass did cry
for “Oh, my Love had died!”

and then he remembers. She tells him to leave but he stays to prepare people for Callisto s army.

It's hard because in Elysium people have no memories. Gabrielle writes out everything they need to know so they can read it anytime one of them forgets.

She continues uphill to Olympus.

SCENE 28

The party in THHG finds what Valaska has left of the first group through the portal, it's gruesome and undignified.

Iolus and Ephany get in each others face about old hunters tricks and how to read the signs.

They move on, looking for Valaska.

Get ambushed, big fire fight, one dead.

SCENE 29

Gabrielle free hand climbing a cliff. Fly on the wall shot. She makes the mistake of looking down and the camera shows us clouds beneath her which part to reveal a miniature landscape. Far in the distance a thin line of smoke rises at the head of the great black line which is Callisto's army.

SCENE 30

Callisto's army arrives in Elysium.

Absolute mayhem, happy picnickers butchered, people eating fruit trapped in the groves as they burn, skinny dippers eaten by horrid monsters. And finally the whole place is set ablaze because Callisto wants Olympus to know shes coming.

SCENE 31

In THHG they set a trap and wait but nothing happens. Bait the trap with Artimus and wait again.

There is a stirring of leaves and then the trap is sprung. Valaska is caught in the net whish she immediatly shreds. A huge fight ensues, both Herc and Xena are barely a match for Valasca. Artimus is the only one who can stand her ground. One of the Amazons is critically injured when she turns her back to set off the second half of the trap. A huge log hung from vines swings towards Valasca. Xena rushes into the fray to save Hercules and is caught by the log which hurls her down a hill. She slides off a cliff and plummets a hundred feet into the Oceanus.

Hercules and Artimus chase after Valaska but don't catch her.

Xena goes over a few waterfalls the shot swirls and she surfaces on the shores of Elysium.

Elysium is burning.

SCENE 32

Gabrielle clambers over the edge of a cliff and is overjoyed to find that it is the last. The gates of Olympus stand before her and they're locked.

She squeezes through the bars, comments on the lack of security and finds the Gods in a heated argument over who's fault this is and who should clean it up. Someone notices that Strife hasnt been around much lately.

Gabrielle sets them straight by showing them what Callisto has done to Elysium. They tell her what they know about Valasca, Hercules and Xena, which isn't much.

SCENE 33

Elysium is now dark with smoke and ash. Hell in Paradise. Bodies are strung liberally about, shackled to trees, crucified, mounted on those spiked wheel things.

Xena is wagging a one woman guerrilla war on Callisto's forces as they march uphill.

Booby traps, weapons raids, the old kill the last guy in line until there's no one left trick.

CALLISTO
Xe-xe! Dearest, I knew we'd meet sooner or later. That was a dirty trick you played on me with the lava, but I forgive you. It gave me time to think, you know.

XENA
I didn't know rabid animals could think.

CALLISTO
tsk tsk tsk. Sticks and stones may... oh, no they can't anymore. (giggle) Well you get the idea. You really are small time Xena. I'd rather take out my frustrations on Olympus, Aries needs a stern talking to. But I wouldn't want you to get board so let's play a game, shall we? (plants her sword) I already own everything on this side of that sword and I'm heading to Mt. Olympus. It'll make a nice bookend to Tarterus. Catch me, catch me, if you can? Ha! This God stuff's a real kick.

Xena and Callisto engage and Callisto parries the shield away, Xena nearly dies.

SCENE 34

In THHG Iolus and Ephany tend to the wounded. They get along a little better.

Artimus picks the killing ground, they all set the traps.

Artimus calls Valaska to the battle.

Run the scenario. It's long perhaps eight minutes of continuous action.

Eventually they catch Valaska in a net made by Hephestus.

SCENE 35

Xena, in desperation, grudgingly prays to Aries.

XENA
(after drawing Aries glyph in the dirt) God of War, I've hated you for a long time now and I imagine you feel the same towards me. Even when I was one of your brightest lights, your best killers, I never prayed to you. I will never worship you or your craft again. You are a sometimes necessary evil in my life if I am to atone for my deeds. But if I am to defeat the enemy before me now, if I am to save my world and your heavens that rule over it vengeance is not enough. Aries, I need you now.

ARIES
(suddenly behind her) And I you. Funny how the ones who hate me the most are often my best students.

XENA
Familiarity breeds contempt.

SCENE 36

Xena and Aries move what remains of the army of Elysium to cut off Callisto's army of darkness in the foot hills of Olympus.

Basic war movie stuff.

End the episode with Purdicus giving a slow motion battle-cry in the midst of total mayhem.


4. GOD KILLERS or TO SHAKE THE PILLARS OF HEAVEN

SCENE 37

A montage of the battle we ended on last time.

Xena marching, lockstep, up and down the lines and fortifications barking orders.

Aries going one on one with Callisto and getting his butt kicked.

ARIES
You can't kill me Callisto . I'm your God.

CALLISTO
Don't delude yourself sweet cheeks.

ARIES
Ask yourself, what are you fighting for if not the glory of War.

CALLISTO
Youre pathetic. Don't ask why I fight! You don't ask a plague why it kills. Battle is its own purpose. (she shatters his weapon)

SCENE 38

Gabrielle questions the old crone of the fates on how to kill a God and learns about the Sickle of Cronus.

Gabrielle appears to Hercules as a reflection in water as he wets a cloth to clean his wounds. She tells him about the Sickle.

To kill Callisto and Valaska they need to find the Sickle of Cronus which is guarded by the three Hundred-handed Giants at the innermost regions of the Earth.

SCENE 39

Artimus reopens the portal to Hades.

Hercules and Iolus go to free Hades and get the Sickle from the depths of Tarterus.

Ephany wants to come too but Artimus needs her. Faith like Ephany's is hard to come by.

SCENE 40

Callisto makes it to Olympus and lays siege to it.

CALLISTO
Little pig, little pig, let me in.

SCENE 41

Hercules and Iolus return with the sickle which they give to Artimus but she won't touch it. It is forbidden for a god to kill a god because Zeus doesn't want what happened to his father to happen to him. Hercules must execute Valaska but if he does it he will never become a god and he will lose all his immortal powers. Heavy stuff this, big chat with father and then Iolus. But the conclusion is enevitable Hercules performs the execution.

SCENE 42

Callisto's army breaches the gates.

Once again, absolute mayhem as the Gods wage war in Olympus.

The hordes of darkness move like a living tide into the stately courts and gardens where they are cut down by the Gods and our heroes but the flow seems never-ending.

Hercules wades through the horde with the sickle flashing darkly.

He sees Callisto and Xena engaged in single combat and throws the sickle to Xena.

SCENE 43

Climactic battle, Xena and Callisto fight on a rapidly narrowing precipice until Callisto forces them both off the edge.

They fall from Olympus and strike the earth as balls of fire. Xena lands in a lake, Callisto on the beach.

Byron quote for Gabrielle later “and fiery the Angels fell. / Bright thunder rolling round their shores. / Burning with the fires of Aoch.”

Xena's shield saves her.

CALLISTO
(climbing out of her crater) Whee! Can we do it again, mommy?

XENA
Not in the time you've got left, whelp.

they engage again. Callisto is all rage and furry with two swords. Xena is calm, parry and wait for the opening. Finally she sees it and hacks Callisto's arm with the sickle.

CALLISTO
(disbelief) Hah. You cut me! clever girl. Where did you get that? (the sickle)

XENA
(attacking) From Cronos.

CALLISTO
Titan killer. Think it'll even the odds for you? I'm still a God. (casts a lightning bolt. Xena uses her shield.) Let's do this thing.

The camera swirls about the fast swordplay. Energy bristles off the weapons. Xena makes a series of strikes.

XENA
How (hit) many (hit) times (hit) do I (kicks her to the ground) have to kill (Callisto stands up, Xena sweeps her weapons aside with the shield and drives the sickle into her stomach) you!?

They are eye to eye now. Callisto is shocked that the weapon is in her. Xena twists the blade up into her heart saying

XENA
This is forever.

Callie spits up blood which falls to the water or ground to be used later as a plot device. Hudson can be brought back as anything you like, good or bad. Even multiple things. Just as Aphrodite was born from Uranus' blood spilled in the sea.

CALLISTO
(held up by the sickle which Xena still holds) I'm glad it was you, Xena. (plants a bloody kiss on her cheek) I wonder where Gods go when they die.

Callisto's head rolls back and Godlight spills from her mouth and eyes. Xena lets the body drop as she steps away. The camera pulls back and we see a discorporate Callisto watching Xena drop her body. A black light opens behind her and she turns into it.

CALLISTO
(in black) Who are you?

VOICE
I am all.

CALLISTO
(like a little girl) What do I do now?

VOICE
Wait.

CALLISTO
For what? How long?

VOICE
Until you let go, until you become one.

Wrap things up.

The army of darkness is sent back to Tarterus.

Hades is back where he's suppose to be.

Gabrielle gets to come back to life because she never crossed the Styx.

Elysium is restored though Purdicus is gone forever.

Water from the Styx is used to wipe the memories of the Valaskans again so that they can rejoin the Amazons.

Big m.f. party.

SCENE 44

In the VOID.

CALLISTO
(calm but childlike) How long have I been here? It feels so long.

VOICE
Don't worry, it's only forever.

dissolve to black.

THE END


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