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Sounds from In Sickness and in Hell

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  1. Gabrielle- Xena, wake up. 50 kb
  2. Gabrielle- Foot rot! Xena: Yeah, that's foot rot alright. 60 kb
  3. Gabrielle- It itches like Hell. Xena: Well, there's nothing I can do for you now. Maybe if you kept it dry like I told you... No no no, it was your idea to tread through a dozen swamps to get to this godforsaken place. 152 kb
  4. Gabrielle- Why couldn't you just leave your horse in a barn like a normal person? Xena: Argo doesn't like being cooped up. Besides, this vally's her home. It's got plenty of space to run, lots of grass to eat. Plenty of bugs, lots of infestation. Xena: Hey, I didn't stop looking for you, and the same goes for Argo. 205 kb
  5. Gabrielle- Something just hopped out of your bedroll. 25 kb
  6. Gabrielle- Maybe if we put your bedroll in the river, let it soak there, then slap it up against a rock or two. That would probably get rid of the little buggers. 87 kb
  7. Gabrielle- Xena, it's green, it's red, it's on the move. Xena: Something's bothering Argo. Hey! Human suffering here. Xena, my fungus is spreading like wildfire. 132 kb
  8. Gabrielle- I don't want you near the food, a lice infested rabbit is not on my diet. Xena: I don't have lice. It's dandruff, it's a minor scalp irritation, that's all. 100 kb
  9. Gabrielle- Whatever. I'll catch the rabbit. Xena: Go ahead. No skin off my back. Hardy har har. 93 kb
  10. Gabrielle- You're such a cute little rabbit. 44 kb
  11. Gabrielle- Xena, I just need relief. Xena: Gabrielle! Look, my fingernails are worn to the nub, I need to scratch. Xena: You shouldn't be scratching anyway, it'll only make things worse. I'm not going to give it to you. Xena: Don't make me hurt you scabrielle. What are you going to do? You're going to use your pressure points. Go on, go ahead, go for it. You can't touch me. C'mon, c'mon. You're really tough now, Warrior Princess. 349 kb
  12. Gabrielle- Alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap your head off. It's my fungus talking. Joxer, you know how I feel about you. Joxer: How do you feel about me? 161 kb
  13. Gabrielle- What did you put in my breakfast? Joxer: Just radishes and water, why? My stomach feels like Monday morning in Tartarus. Joxer: You know, I just think you're feeling a little puffy, irritable, and bloated today. 103 kb
  14. Gabrielle- Next time, find your own bush. Joxer: Girls, please, there's bushes enough for everyone. 55 kb
  15. Gabrielle- God this stuff stinks. What is this, sheep dung? Joxer: Goat poop. 88 kb
  16. Gabrielle- Xena has just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. What, what did you say? I said that Xena, has just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. Talk. Talk! Tell us what you know. Help! Somebody! 265 kb
  17. Gabrielle- Mumbles about fungus and lice. 41 kb
  18. Joxer- I'm blind. I'm blind. I'm blind. I'm blind. I'm blind. Oh, I can see. It's a miracle! 203 kb
  19. Joxer- Figure I'd find you guys here. The trail was too easy to follow. Any idiot can find you. Xena: Evidently. 76 kb
  20. Joxer- The villagers paid me to protect them. Gabrielle: So, let me guess, you want our help? I've got things completely under control. Xena: So when do you want us to start? How's now sound? 162 kb
  21. Joxer- Ok, then its settled. We're a team. Joxer the Mighty, and his mighty band of mighty men. Girls. Joxer the Mighty and his fighting mighty women fighters. Fighting. 209 kb
  22. Joxer- I tried to stop them, of course I was out numbered. Xena: How many did you see? One. Xena: One man: One fist, but it was headed for my face at the time. 111 kb
  23. Joxer- I just thought you liked being filthy, made you look tough or something. Xena: I'm not filthy. Hey, I'm not the one who has the lice. Xena: I don't have lice! 115 kb
  24. Joxer- Fear not. Joxer the mighty has returned. 85 kb
  25. Joxer- Remember Joxer, you're the secret weapon. Oh Joxer the M...mommy. What do you want? Anyone hungry? 176 kb
  26. Joxer- You know what? I'm a graduate of the Royal Athenian acadamy of cooking. I cooked for the king, before he died. 65 kb
  27. Joxer- I was a cook for the Royal Trojan army. Their legendary flatulance had nothing to do with me of course. 83 kb
  28. Xena- What is it? A bald spot? Gabrielle: No, it's lice. 50 kb
  29. Xena- I have not got lice. You think I wouldn't know if I had lice? 47 kb
  30. Xena- Give it a rest Gabrielle. Gabrielle: Not until you clean up your act Xena. Hey, I'm not the one with the fungus among us. Gabrielle: Oh, that's poetic. Did one of your bug friends whisper that in your ear? 118 kb
  31. Xena- Alright, that's enough. Gabrielle: Oh, you want a piece of me huh? Fine, I'll give you a piece of me. 90 kb
  32. Xena- Wait a minute. There's a rabbit over there. Gabrielle: I'll catch the rabbit. You're gonna catch the rabbit? Gabrielle: Yeah. After all these years of watching you slaughter nature's creatures, I can do this. 168 kb
  33. Xena- Their warriors will stop at nothing. They're tough and ruthless. Joxer: And their women are rough and toothless. 80 kb
  34. Xena- Joxer, I once knew a warrior who tried to stop them. They buried him in Sparta, Athens, and Carthage. Joxer: What do you mean? They buried him in Sparta, Athens, and Carthage. Think about it Joxer. Joxer: Oh, its a riddle. 213 kb
  35. Xena- Have you noticed anything about my hair? Joxer: It's lovely. No. Gabrielle, she has this crazy idea about bugs. Joxer: Oh, your lice. I can see them from here. I don't have lice. 194 kb
  36. Xena- That's not my chakram you're scratch your fungus on. Gabrielle: Yeah, yeah, it is your chakram. 89 kb
  37. Xena- I don't ask for much, I just want my pony back. 46 kb
  38. Xena- Where's Gabrielle? Joxer: Nature called. No, its screamed like a wild banshee. 52 kb
  39. Xena- Are you out of your mind? Argo wouldn't go to anyone else, she'd die first. Gabrielle: Argo Argo Argo. Someone walked by with an apple and she followed him home. Ha! Gabrielle: That's what horses do! 141 kb
  40. Xena- You're going to defend our village? Yeah. But we're gonna need a little help. Uh, go to your houses and collect together all of your tools and weapons. Give Joxer a list of every able bodied villager, and secure the outhouse. Outhouse? Is that important? It is to me. 281 kb
  41. Xena- C'mon, c'mon. Don't be shy, your mother wasn't. Alright, hold that, got it firm. Alright, you got it? Yeah, you got it. 117 kb
  42. Xena- You know, we gotta watch out for the innkeeper. Gabrielle: Why? What does he have? What? Ringworm? 69 kb
  43. Xena- What are you drinking? Gabrielle: Lindsy root. You said it was good for my skin. On your skin, you're not supposed to drink it. Gabrielle: What could happen? Your mouth could go numb. Gabrielle: I can't feel my tougn. Xena, I can't feel my tougn. The numbness should go away in a couple of days. 353 kb
  44. Xena- Gabrielle, Gabrielle. Wake up. Stomach. I did the... find out what you can. 168 kb
  45. Xena- What's he got up his sleeve? I'm not telling you what he has planned. Alright. Gabrielle, go in there and give him a nice big kiss. 103 kb
  46. Xena- He's not going to leave me here in this jail cell to rot. Don't tell us about rot. 51 kb
  47. Xena- I just can't believe that Argo would let somebody else ride her. What we had was such a beautiful thing, I ruined it. Joxer: Did you see that horse that Scythian was riding on? What a beaut. 227 kb
  48. Xena- Joxer. You're the secret weapon. You're going to neutralize the rest of the army while I get my horse back. Joxer: I am? I mean, I am. The whole army? 161 kb
  49. Xena- Hey girl. It's me. I smell funny, but I had a tough week. I know you've been avoiding me. But I'm back and I'm never going to let you go again. So let's get out of here huh? 275 kb
  50. Xena- Argo, here, get this off you huh? Ok. There. I knew you couldn't do it to me, we've geen through too much together. You came close though. 206 kb
  51. Xena- I missed ya. I missed you so much. I promise I will never leave you alone for that long again. I thought I was never going to get you back. Just one thing. How did Asthestis win you over? Apples? You left me for apples? Thanks pal. 373 kb
  52. Xena- This week's been kinda tough for all of us I guess. But, I'm always there for you and, you're always there for me. Friends, I got all the friends I need. 209 kb
  53. Lice- Oh my God, you killed Kenny. You bitch. 62 kb

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