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STANDARD DISCLAIMER: None of the characters in this story are my own and no copyright infringement is intended. The story however is mine and is copyrighted to me. This is written entirely in fun.
SUBTEXT DISCLAIMER: Yes there is subtext. I believe these two women are deeply in love, though it's very subtle here.
OTHER STUFF: This is an entry in the "Lessons Learned" series. This series does not particularly fall in any order. These scrolls are written from Gabrielle's point of view on the lessons she's learned while traveling with Xena Warrior Princess.
The lessons - which each start with the words "I've learned..." - are not my own. Actually they are a bunch of sayings that I received in an e-mail from a friend of mine. If anyone knows the origins of these sayings, please e-mail me with the info so that I may give credit where credit is due. The rest of the story is mine and is copyrighted to me.
Hope you enjoy. Comments are always welcome and very much appreciated. Send any comments to firstname.lastname@example.org Thanks.
DEDICATION: This story was written for and is dedicated to someone in particular because of how she makes me feel. You know who you are and I love you very much in so many ways. Thank you for everything you've given me.
Why Can't I Sleep?
I lay here with my eyes closed and try to sleep. I can't.
Why does it elude me?
It's because of her. Gods I've loved her for so long. My every thought, my every breath, my everything...is her.
She makes me smile, she teaches me...I see her hurt and feel her pain. She lets me inside.
We were split up. We blamed ourselves but now we've accepted that it was beyond our control. We are stronger.
But that's not what is keeping me awake.
So why can't I sleep tonight? What's so different about this night?
My eyes flick to her again, worshipping her sleeping form.
My heart beats a rhythm only for her. An uneven, skipping, jumping for joy rhythm. My breath catches every time our eyes meet or she says my name.
Her laugh is music to my ears. Her pain tears me apart. My body thrums with anticipation when she comes near.
One look, one touch, one word...
But none of this is new.
So why can't I sleep tonight?
Tonight she told me she loves me.
I sat there stunned watching all of my dreams become possible realities....
Finally I came to my senses and called to her but she was already gone. She misunderstood my silent awe.
For so long I wanted to hear those words. For so long I wanted to say those words to her but I was afraid. Afraid of what that would do to our still deepening and tentative friendship.
And now that she has told me, I gather my courage. My heart will no longer be in pain from hiding.
I waited for her. Finally I realized she wouldn't return until I was asleep.
Now I smile as I look down at her and stroke her silky raven mane.
"Sleep well my warrior." I place a soft kiss on her forehead.
Yes, tomorrow it will be a sleepless night for her.
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
By Shalon - 28Aug99