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Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.
NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.
I know all of us have wondered what would have happened if things had been just a little different in that certain scene. Here's one way I see it. As with all of my stories, I relish feedback. Please let me know what you think...
Xena: Warrior Princess
ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE...
by: Fu Bard
In the great Hall of Eternity, on the heights of Mount Olympus, Aphrodite laughed and laughed. She stood with her son, Cupid, as the two of them watched the events of the past unfold in one of the many magical portals the gods used to view time and space for their amusement. The Goddess and her son had chanced to walk by just as certain events Cupid would rather have kept secret began to unfold... His son, Bliss, had stolen his fathers bow and was getting into all sorts of mischief with it. He was shooting arrows at random, making everyone in town fall for someone, it seemed. A young man fell in love with his best friend and a man actually fell in love with a cow - even Xena had fallen for Draco and then Gabrielle had fallen for Joxer.
"Ha ha ha... You sure screwed up that time, Cupid," the goddess said. "What a complete mess. How could you let my grandson get your bow and cause such a ridiculous situation? You have a lot to learn about this love business before you get up to your mom's standards." She began to laugh even harder as she watched the Hestian virgins chase Draco's men - with lust in their eyes and on their minds.
"Oh yeah, Mom. Well, what about the time you made that idiot Joxer turn into a super stud every time he heard a bell ring? Seems to me that my arrows won out that time - and you lost some temples in the process." He got a smug look on his face and Aphrodite gave him an angry stare...
"Look, Cupid," she said, "Don't even go there. I can out-love your arrows any day of the week. If it had not been for Xena's irritating little blond friend, my plans would have knocked yours in the dirt - and you know it. You may have won that time, but I am the Goddess of Love and you will never be able to fill my shoes."
"OK Mom... Why don't you put your temples where your mouth is? I bet you one of my temples against one of yours that I can make any two people you choose fall in love - anytime, anywhere. No one can resist the power of my arrows, and my plans seem to work out better than yours ever do. Lets face it, Mom - sometimes you've got to step aside and let the young do what the old just can't seem to get done."
"Old... OLD! I am not old!" The beautiful goddess's gorgeous body shook with anger. She was livid! "OK - my wanna-be love god, son. That does it! You've got a bet. I pick any two people I want and you can make 'em fall for each other - Right?"
"Right," he said, brandishing his bow.
The lovely goddess motioned toward the scene playing out on the magic viewscreen and did an Olympian version of rewind. The scene reversed to a point just before Xena released Gabrielle and Joxer from the post that Draco's men had tied them to. Aphrodite then hit the cosmic pause button - so to speak.
"OK then," she said, "I pick those two." She pointed at Xena and Gabrielle. "Lets just see what will happen if you can shoot those two pains in my butt with your arrows and prevent that dufus Joxer from getting in the way this time."
"Hah - no problem. You think I can't make two women fall in love? Even two as opposite as those will be all over each other in a second - once my arrows take effect. You've already lost Mom." He grinned the grin of the victorious.
"We'll see," she replied. "Let's just zap back to that instant and see what happens."
"It's your temple, Mom - But not for long." Cupid gave her a smile and snapped his fingers - disappearing in a flash of yellow sparkles.
"I wouldn't start re-decorating it just yet," she thought. She motioned with her hands and disappeared as well, leaving a spray of color behind and rose petals drifting to the marble floor...
Xena walked out the door of the Hestian temple with Draco - and saw Gabrielle and Joxer tied to a large post in the courtyard.
"Well, at least I didn't kill them," Draco said.
"And spoil a good shot at ransom?" Xena replied. She walked forward to release her two friends.
Draco laughed in response.
Gabrielle mumbled loudly through her gag. "Xemma - gmm mmm awmm frmm.." Xena slipped the gag off... "Joxer!" Gabrielle finished.
Xena untied the rope that bound the two to the wooden post and, as she did, Bliss appeared and shot Gabrielle with one of his father's arrows...
Unseen by anyone present, Aphrodite and Cupid appear beside the trio in the courtyard. The Goddess of Love watches, as Cupid moves toward the unsuspecting group.
As Gabrielle frees herself from the rope, she says "Xena..." Under the influence of the magical arrow's power, she looks around with a strange, confused expression on her face...
Xena walks around the wooden post, ending up in front of Joxer. At this point, Cupid touches her - removing the spell of love for Draco previously put on her by his wayward son. Cupid then shoots Xena with the bow in his hands. "Gabrielle..." she says, as she looks toward the lovely bard.
"Xena..." Gabrielle repeats. She turns to face her friend, but Joxer gets loose from the ropes and steps between them. This time, however, Cupid kicks him square in the butt, knocking him on his face in the dirt - before the bard has a chance to look at him. Gabrielle turns and sees Xena... she stares into the warrior's beautiful blue eyes and Xena gazes back at Gabrielle...
"It's all over now," Cupid says, as he flashes his mom a smug grin...
"You two keep an eye on things til Draco and I get back," Xena says. Then she walks away to discuss the situation with the warlord.
Gabrielle helps Joxer to his feet, and the bumbling hero brushes the dirt from his clothes - looking behind him with a puzzled expression on his face. "You heard Xena," says Gabrielle. "Now lets go and keep an eye on those virgins." The two walk away across the square...
"No way," Cupid says. "No mortal can resist the power of my arrows. What gives here - Why didn't they fall in love?" He thinks for a moment... "They have to fall in love with the first creature they see - unless they were already..."
He spins to face Aphrodite, who has a huge smirk on her face...
"That is WAY unfair, Mom," he says, looking accusingly at the grinning Love Goddess. "You knew that they were already in love with each other all along - didn't you?"
"Duhhhh," Aphrodite replies. I'm not the Goddess of Love for nothing. As your uncle Ares would no doubt say - All's fair in love and war... Now pay up. I guess I'll take your temple in Corinth - I've always thought it was kinda nice. But it will have to be re-done... I think pink - with lots of statues of me and lots of mirrors. What do you think?"
She gives her son a charming smile, but he just disappears - a sullen look on his face as he does...
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