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A Shower Scene
by Bongo Bear

Our heroes sat peacefully around their evening campfire, engaged in their evening routines. Gabrielle recorded the day's uneventful activities while Xena sharpened her sword. The only sounds were the crackling of the fire, the rhythmic scrape of stone against steel, and the scratching of a quill over parchment.

Suddenly, the sharp retort of thunder shattered the near silence. A temporal rift appeared several feet behind them. The distortion flickered and wavered the air around it. As the women stared with gaping mouths at the strange phenomena, a blue and white scroll came flying through the hole in time and space. The scroll tumbled through the air and landed at their feet. The hole quickly shrank until it disappeared altogether, leaving nothing behind but the acrid odor of ozone.

Gabrielle ran to the scroll, stared at it for the briefest of moments, then picked it up from the ground. She unrolled it slowly, fascinated by what she read. She felt Xena standing behind her as she tried to make out the words.

"It's not Greek, more like Latin. Same letters any way...."

"What does it say?" Xena asked.

"These are the second largest words at the top, so it must be the bard's name. Homer Depot, I think. This is unlike any scroll I've ever seen. Look, see all the line drawings with text?"

"What's the title of this story?"

The bard gave her best, uneducated guess. "I think it says 'How to Build a Shower'."

"What's a 'shower' and why should I build one?" Xena asked, genuinely puzzled.

Gabrielle studied the drawings a bit more and made out more and more of the text. Finally she said, "A shower is an alternative to a bath. A carefully adjusted mixture of hot and cold water flows out of the shower head, here." She pointed to the object labeled 'head' on the drawing. "You stand under it to get wet. It's like standing out in the rain, except it's hotter and steamier."

"That's fine, but *why* would I want to build one?" Xena asked again.

The bard thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. During the long thinking process, a smile grew upon her face. It grew until it became a evil, wicked looking grin.

Xena was still standing behind the shorter woman. She looked down and saw the unexpected expression plastered on the bard's face. "What's that silly grin about?" Xena asked testily as she lost interest in the scroll.

"Why would you want a shower? Heh, heh," Gabrielle's lascivious grin grew even larger, "Let me tell you about what we could do."

"We?"

"Oooh yes, we could take a shower together. First we wet ourselves down under the water.....and then I wash your back...and you wash mine....and then...."

"Yes, yes! I understand now." Xena smiled. She wrapped her arms around the waist of the woman in front of her and pulled her in closely. The bard's warm back nestled against the warrior's leather-clad torso. Xena rested her cheek against Gabrielle's soft hair and closed her eyes.

In her mind's eye, Xena sees them standing under a moonlit sky and embracing as a warm, soft spray rains down on their heads. She playfully laps up the water puddled around Gabrielle's neck. In response, the bard leans back into the taller woman. Xena easily supports her lover with a slightly bent knee tucked under her bottom and an arm across her hip. She slowly slides a soapy hand over Gabrielle's upturned breasts. She gently caresses the curves leading to the erect nipple. She swirls a finger tip around the dark areola. She feels Gabrielle shudder in her arms. As her hand drifts lower, the water rinses away the suds, revealing a bright, wet sheen. Xena's eyes follow the sudsy water's course down Gabrielle's firm body. She watches the bubbles collect in the navel, then topple over in the furry trap below. Her hands trace the water's path......

"Xena, are you with me? Xena?"

Turning in her lover's arms, Gabrielle looked at Xena with concern. The warrior's eyes were closed to mere slits. Her breathing was shallow and ragged. Her loins, inflamed with lust, radiated heat into the bard's belly. Xena bent down to nuzzle the slender neck before her. Her warm breath caressed and tickled the fine hair as she moaned softly into her bard's ear, "Oh gods, I want you in a hot, slippery, wet shower *now* !"

"Xena, we can't." Gabrielle said with obvious disappointment.

"Why not?" Xena's voice ached with desire.

"Plumbing hasn't been invented yet."

Finis

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