Retribution ã Part 1 (An Uber-Xena story)
By: BJ O’Donnell (a.k.a. MsTigrlil)
7/98

"Gabrielle... Gabrielle, wake up." Xena shouted at the girl as she leaned over her.

When Gabrielle had screamed Xena’s name, Xena jumped from the sleeping furs to her fighting stance with only her sword and her well muscled, tanned naked body to defend the girl. After scanning the area for possible danger, she realized that it was only Gabrielle crying out from a bad dream. She crossed the camp quickly, placing her hands on Gabrielle’s shoulders to shake her awake, to help fight off the demons that took the peacefulness from her sleep.

"Wha... what? Oh my gods Xena! What a dream I just had." Gabrielle said breathlessly as she became more conscious. She reached out, flinging her arms around Xena’s neck and pulled her into a deep embrace. Still panting from the memories of what she had just witnessed, she whispered into Xena’s long inky black hair, "Artemis, please don’t let me waste another moment."

Then said in a more audible tone into Xena’s ear, "I must tell you Xena that I truly love you. I have always loved you. I want to be with you. And I will be with you always love, just remember that."

The words were rapid fire out of Gabrielle’s mouth. She said them so fast that Xena thought Gabrielle was still dreaming. And, Xena wasn’t quite sure she had heard it all correctly. Or at least wasn’t sure that Gabrielle had really meant it all. Holding Gabrielle by her shoulders, she gently pushed the girl away from her just a bit and looked into her fiery green eyes. She wanted to believe what she had heard but had to know for sure.

"Gabrielle, are you still asleep? Do you know what you are saying?" Xena said, steel blue eyes looking deeply into sea green.

"Yes, yes. I am awake and I know what I am saying." She said more softly as she reached up to place her hands on Xena’s bare shoulders and then continued to speak, "Listen, I have wanted to tell you this for so long now but was afraid. I am not afraid that you could not love me back in the same way that I love you but I fear that you would be so afraid that if you loved me too much, you would hurt me or get me hurt. I can no longer take the chance that you will be afraid of our love. Or of yourself with me. I know that you have a dark side, a very passionate side, I want to be a part of that too. I want and need you. All of you."

Stunned, Xena blankly gazed into Gabrielle’s eyes for a long moment not quite sure how to respond. Hadn’t she felt the same way about Gabrielle? Hadn’t she wanted to tell her, no, scream it out at the top of her lungs just how much she loved this woman? And now here was this woman, not much more than a girl, with more courage than she, able to open herself to Xena’s love.

"Oh Gabrielle, I have longed to hear those words from you." Xena whispered with an almost inaudible cracking in her voice. "I love you," she said as she pulled Gabrielle into her strong arms, wanting to hold onto her forever.

Xena drew back from her embrace of Gabrielle but only enough to be able to reach her soft neck with her lips. She began to kiss Gabrielle hesitantly on the nape of her neck, more afraid that this was all still some weird dream and that Gabrielle would finally wake up and wonder what Xena was doing. As Gabrielle began to respond to these kisses with soft moans, Xena felt more at ease and began to move over her neck to her soft ear.

Gabrielle’s moans told Xena everything she needed to know at that moment.

She was elated to know that the one true love in her life also felt the same way about her. Why had this taken so long to come to fruition? Why had she been so afraid to tell this young woman that she loved her so much? Xena thought to herself.

She had wanted this more than anything in her life. Maybe that was why she was so afraid, she feared that if she let Gabrielle know the love she had for her, that Gabrielle would leave her. She also feared, as Gabrielle had said, that if she loved her too much, she would get Gabrielle hurt in some way. Gabrielle had already been the target of some pretty evil people who were trying to get back at Xena. And now that their relationship was about to change, she did fear that Gabrielle would become even higher on someone’s hit list. She was also a bit surprised to think that Gabrielle not only knew of her "dark passions" but also embraced them, wanted them, wanted her.

But those darker passions could wait. Right now all Xena could think of was to make gentle love to this woman. The woman that she loved with all her heart.

Xena’s kisses became more passionate as she lowered Gabrielle gently back down onto the sleeping furs. Her arms still wrapped around the nude bard, Xena pulled her into a deep embrace as she placed her lips softly over the young woman’s. The kiss was first slow and tentative, then as Gabrielle opened her mouth to allow Xena’s tongue to explore, Xena felt her passion begin to rise. Her kisses became more furious and burning as more soft moans escaped from Gabrielle’s throat.

She didn’t want to go too fast, not yet. Even though she had been with other women, she was sure that Gabrielle hadn’t and she didn’t want to frighten her away or cause her to become nervous.

Xena’s hands moved down Gabrielle’s shoulders, to explore her now heaving chest. With her fingers and thumbs, she began to roll and pull on the hardened nipples she found there. Gabrielle thrust out her chest towards Xena’s ministrations, gasping for small breaths as Xena continued to excite her even more.

Xena’s own excitement grew as she felt her lover’s body respond to her touches and as Gabrielle call out her name between soft moans and gasps. So much for slowing down Xena thought as she smiled to herself.

Leaning on one elbow to support her full weight off of Gabrielle, she began to move farther down the bard’s body with her free hand. Feeling and exploring both the softness of her skin and the hardness of her muscles. She is so beautiful, so full of excitement and passion Xena thought with amazement of her young lover. As Xena’s hand touched the soft hairs at Gabrielle’s mound, she was met with a thrust upwards as Gabrielle moaned loudly. Oh gods, I love this woman. I want to please her so much, to have her, to take her, to make love to her until the day I die, and hopefully that will be a long time from now.

As Xena’s hand began to explore the silky wet folds of Gabrielle, she pulled back from kissing and sucking at her neck and ear to look into Gabrielle’s face. What she saw there drew more passion from her then any other lover she had ever known. Gabrielle’s eyes, half closed, her head thrown back to expose her soft neck, her long reddish hair draping down over her shoulders as deeper moans breathlessly passed those beautiful lips of hers. Gabrielle’s show of her own desires for Xena sent shivers through the warrior’s heart and soul.

Xena whispered into Gabrielle’s ear, "I love you Gabrielle." As the words passed her lips, her fingers moved slowly over the hard little nub she found and entered Gabrielle’s hot center. Gabrielle arched her back and thrust forward to meet Xena’s fingers as she pulled her warrior tighter to her. Her fingernails dug deep into Xena’s back as she felt her body respond to her lover in a way she had never known before.

The fierceness of Gabrielle’s nails in her back brought more shivers and deeper, darker desires to her. No, no, not yet. There will be time for that Xena thought as she continued to make love to her Gabrielle for the first time.

Xena continued to move deeper and stronger inside Gabrielle as her own heat and passion built higher and higher. Xena pulled her leg over Gabrielle’s and pressed her own hot center into the bard’s muscle hardened thigh. They moved in unison as if this were something they had perfected over years of being together. It felt natural and so full of love for them to finally express themselves this way with each other.

Xena’s mouth trailed down Gabrielle’s neck to trace a path with her tongue to her hardened nipple. Drawing tiny circles around her nipple and flicking it with her tongue, Xena finally sucked it into her mouth, letting it scrape lightly over her teeth. "Mmm" Gabrielle moaned loudly as Xena continued to suck her nipple in and out of her mouth, biting it gently as it passed her teeth.

Xena pushed harder into Gabrielle with her fingers as she let her thumb move over and around her hardened nub. Gabrielle began to move faster and faster to meet Xena’s ministrations as her passion began to peak.

Gabrielle screamed Xena’s name again and again as her body arched and stiffened as her burning release overtook her. Xena’s own fierce release was met violently against her lover’s thigh with an explosion that left them both drained.

Xena awoke in her bed and slowly began to realize that she had been dreaming of Gabrielle again. She closed her eyes tightly as the tears began to flow uninhibited down her face. Burying her head into her pillow, she sobbed uncontrollably as she remembered her Gabrielle and the life that they had shared once.

Oh Artemis, why must I keep going on like this? Why must I suffer for so long and to be haunted and tortured by visions of my one true love that I can no longer hold near me? I miss her so much. Xena cried out in her mental anguish and pain.

Xena wiped the tears from her eyes finally, as she slowly pulled herself from her large bed. Moving across the room to open the drapes, she turned and noticed the gun lying on the bed. Every time I have a bad night, that stupid gun is just laying there. I must pull it out from the nightstand in my sleep. It’s not like it will do me any good Xena thought disgruntled to herself. If only she could end it that way. She could finally be at rest, even have peace maybe. Peace, ha she thought that’s something that has eluded me for over two thousand years now. Xena wondered then how long she could keep going like this.

Then sarcastically laughing to herself, she thought, Like I have a choice.

Thinking back to when it all started, she hadn’t noticed the change right away. No one did, it didn’t start to show up until she realized that Gabrielle and everyone else she knew seemed to be growing older, that is except her. Everyone thought is was strange that as they began to get slower and lines started to appear on their faces, Xena always stayed as beautiful and strong as ever. At first they all thought it was due to her ever present exercise or that maybe she was secretly taking some of her own herbs and medicines.

Then one day as she and Gabrielle were in the Amazon village, Ephany came to Xena early one morning. "Xena, I have just had a dream that I need to tell you about" she said. As usual, Xena was up before everyone else that morning and Eph knew she could find her by the stream working out with her sword. "I dreamt that after you died and Gabrielle helped you get the Ambrosia, you became an immortal. That certainly would explain why you don’t seem to be growing older like the rest of us." Eph said slowly to her friend. She watched as the realization of this crept into Xena’s mind.

Oh my gods, why hadn’t we thought of this before Xena thought. "Of course, that must be it!" Xena shouted as she grabbed her friend around her waist and swung her around before placing her gently back down to earth. Suddenly it hit her though, "But now what do we do about it? I can’t go on like this forever. I mean, I don’t want to watch as all my friends and Gabrielle get old and die around me." Xena said slowly after she realized just exactly what being an immortal meant.

Eph looked into Xena’s worried eyes and then the idea struck her, "Well, why don’t we ask Artemis."

"You know how I feel about the gods and their interference in peoples lives." Xena responded quickly.

"Well, what else would you suggest, I mean, who else would know about this kind of thing? Who else would you ask?" Eph said flatly to her.

"Your right, it’s just that I don’t like asking for any of their help. They always take it the wrong way and then they act like you owe them or something. I don’t like owing them anything." Xena finally said.

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Later that day after gathering Gabrielle, Eph and the village wise woman, they all held hands and sat around a fire pit in the darkened medicine hut. The smell of incense was heavy in the air as candles and special herbs burned all around them. The wise woman had given them all some herbs to eat earlier, telling them it would help to open their minds and now, as they were taking effect on them, making them a bit woozy, she called on Artemis to manifest herself.

"Please join us oh great Artemis, protector of the Amazons, Goddess of the hunt, and Mother of all living creatures" the wise woman spoke as she stared into the fire. The room began to darken even more as soft blue and green clouds began to form and swirl around them. Looking into the clouds, Xena didn’t know if this was really happening or if it was due to the herbs she had eaten. Oh well, whatever it is, maybe I will get some answers now she thought.

Gabrielle squeezed Xena’s hand as a shadowy figure began to appear before them. "My gods, she’s beautiful." Gabrielle whispered to Xena.

"No need to whisper dear Queen, I can hear even your thoughts" the figure said. Artemis seemed to glide through the air until she stood in front of Xena. The soft clouds now swirling around them both. She reached out to place her hands on Xena’s shoulders, then said, "I know you seek answers to questions that burn in your soul. It is time that I answer them for you." Artemis said as she looked deep into Xena’s eyes. "I have chosen you dear one. You have been my champion for a long time now without even knowing it. If it were not for the love you have for my Queen and your desire to live for her, you would have never eaten the Ambrosia. For that reason, as well as for your strength, courage and wisdom, I have chosen you to be my champion here on earth. When you ate the Ambrosia, you were eating of my body, my soul. I gave it to you willingly. Now you will live forever. Unless of course you pay the price of your retribution." Artemis slowly let these last words flow out to be sure that Xena fully understood what was being said to her.

"What in Hades does that mean? What retribution do I have to pay?" Xena stiffened then shouted angrily after fully realizing what she heard.

"Ah my champion, you must pay for your past sins. The death and destruction you have caused in this world can not go unpaid. You have been living a good and honorable life since you changed for the better and have been with my Queen but there were so many that you have killed and lives that you have ruined. There must be retribution." Artemis replied flatly.

"And how do you expect me to pay this price?" Xena spat, still angry for this forced punishment on her. "I am but just one woman."

"Ha ha, you underestimate yourself dear one. You are not but just one woman as you say. You are my champion who also just happens to be immortal now. You must continue to save the innocents and do good things in this world as long as it takes. You will eventually learn all the answers to life. You will do great things in my name. LaoMa knew some of the things that your life would hold. She knew that your destiny would be long and fruitful. I sent her to teach you, she was my gift to you." As Artemis said all this, Xena felt herself relaxing. She knew in her heart that this was all true. Then she smiled a little as she thought again of LaoMa.

That was so long ago, I wonder how long I must continue to pay for my past sins Xena thought reflectively as she turned on the cold water in the shower hoping it that would chase the memories from her mind.

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Xena moved quickly down the long open hall towards her office. No sense in continuing to worry about the past, I have the here and now to worry about Xena thought to herself as she began to think of her latest assignment. She had received word that there was another loony with a bomb threatening to blow up the world. Gods I get tired of these weirdoes with their over active imaginations she thought.

She had been with Interpol since she helped develop it in Paris after WWII but now hired herself out as an independent agent to other government agencies throughout the world. With her vast connections and knowledge of world history and geography, her ability to speak so many languages and her uncanny, intuitive understanding of how some of the worlds most ruthless villains worked, she was highly sought after for some of the most intriguing and dangerous assignments.

She had always been very secretive and mysterious though and not too many people really knew or understood her other than to know that she was good at finding the bad guys of the world. No agencies kept files on her and there were never any photos of her taken. She lived a very secret life, just the way she liked it. She had to, with her past, no one would understand. There were a few people throughout her life who she let know about her secret but not many.

As she looked through all the information sent to her through her encrypted e-mail from Interpol, she noticed that the terrorist Derrick was behind the bomb threat. Now this is one bad ass she thought as she began to settle in and get serious about this. She had dealt with him on other occasions and had to give him credit, he was brilliant and ruthless with a knack at hiding, this wasn’t going to be easy she thought.

She had first heard of Derrick about three years ago while working for the CIA on another mission. He had eluded her, Interpole and half the other secret agencies in the world since then. And now, he had a stolen nuclear bomb.

Damn the break up of the USSR as well as Pakistan and India for not leaving well enough alone she thought. Ever since then, everyone in all the agencies around the world had to worry about someone getting hold of one of those bombs. And now he had one and it was going to be up to her to stop him, if she didn’t, he has threatened to blow up a major city somewhere in the world and start World War III.

As Xena slipped the blue jeans over her long, tanned legs, she again thought of Gabrielle.

I miss you love she said quietly to Gabrielle’s image in her mind. She wanted to believe that Gabrielle could hear her. Didn’t she tell her once that the dead could hear the thoughts of the living? I have met and been with many people over time dear. I somehow know that you won’t mind. Some of them reminded me of you so much it almost hurt to be with them. But I always felt that you were with me some how through them. I have met someone else again that reminds me of you dear. Her name is Angela. And she is a writer just like you. I wanted to tell you about her Gabrielle. She is petite like you with long golden hair. Her eyes are even green just like yours. She isn’t as feisty as you but give her time, she’ll come around. I think you would like her Xena thought as she drew the long, white silk shirt over her shoulders.

She often talked to Gabrielle in this way. It was one of the few things that made her feel relaxed, and the only thing that reminded her of peace and home. Well, the occasional "talks" she had with Artemis helped too, although her "talks" with Artemis always ended up giving her a headache.

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As she slipped into the driver’s seat of her BMW convertible she grabbed the phone and began dialing the familiar number. Laughing to herself as she placed the call to Angela, she never thought she would again feel comfortable "checking in" with someone. She had always been so very independent and never felt the need to tell someone where she was or what she was doing except with Gabrielle. But somehow, this felt right. I mean, there is no need in making Angela worry about her while she is gone, right? She thought as she remembered back to when they first met.

She had met Angela while she was in Athens on one of her rare holidays away from this deranged business she was in. While waiting at the little seaside café for Tomas one evening, she watched him as he moved slowly towards her down the boardwalk. Arthritis, age and a hard life had taken their toll on his body, but thank the gods, his mind and witty sense of humor were forever present. He is getting so old and fragile she thought, suddenly aware that her long time friend would soon leave her for the peacefulness of death. Although she would miss him very much and really didn’t want to think about that day when it would happen, she couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous.

Ah, the simple act of dying was so natural for everyone else yet it had eluded her for so long now.

She watched as he stopped at a table near the far end of the café. He leaned down to speak to someone sitting there. Xena could not see who it was because of some bushes in the way. Gods, he knows someone wherever he goes she thought, smiling to herself. Then a woman came into view as Tomas held out his hand and drew her up from the table. As they turned and began walking towards Xena, she was startled at how young and beautiful she was and how she somehow even reminded her of Gabrielle.

"Xena, I would like to introduce you to Angela Shepard." Tomas said as they stood in front of Xena’s table. Pushing her right hand towards Xena, she said with a soft yet firm voice "Glad to finally meet you. Tomas has spoken of you often. Only good things, I assure you."

"Well, that’s one up on me. He has never mentioned you I regret, he must have wanted to keep you all to himself. Nice to meet you, please sit down" she said as she continued to hold Angela’s hand, then reluctantly released it as they looked for a moment deep into each others eyes.

Standing then, she offered Angela a seat next to her own as Tomas sat opposite of them. "And Tomas, remind me to have a talk with you later about not mentioning Angela to me before now" Xena said with a hint of humorous sarcasm in her voice.

With one elbow on the table, Xena rested her chin on her fist and leaned towards Angela, "So, tell me everything about yourself that Tomas neglected to mention, which would of course, be everything" she said as she shot him a stare and a grin.

"Well," she started out "you can’t hardly blame Tomas, you know how he likes to think he has such deep, dark secrets from everyone" she said as she leaned closer to Xena in a mock whisper. Boy, and does he have some real secrets Xena thought.

Tomas chuckled "I somehow knew you two would conspire against me" He paused, then said as a loud rumbling noise came from his stomach, "Come on, lets eat.

Over their meal of muscles and clams in a sauce of sundried tomatoes, olive oil and wine, Xena and Angela began to learn more about each other. Poor Tomas was barely able to get a word in edgewise.

As the day wore on to dusk, the three of them sat for a moment in their own silent reflections as they watched streamers of pinks and violets fill the evening sky and reflect onto the water. Xena looked over at Angela and studied this woman who was already beginning to captivate her heart.

Long into the evening and many bottles of wine later, Xena watched as Tomas’ eyes began to close and his head started a steady nodding. "We had better get this old man home before he starts to snore right here," she said playfully as she stood to help her friend to his feet.

As Xena helped him into the back of a cab, she leaned in and placed a kiss on his forehead, then whispered "Thank you old friend, she is wonderful."

You’re welcome Princess. I just thought you should have some happiness in your life" he said before Xena closed the cab door.

Xena backed away from the cab as it sped off and was met with Angela sliding her arm through Xena’s. Mmm, I like that. I can’t believe how much she reminds me of Gabrielle though. Different, yet so similar she thought as she looked down into those blue-green eyes.

Shaking off her memories of Gabrielle, she asked Angela if she could give her a ride to her hotel. Angela, looking up into the most amazingly azure eyes "Yes" she breathed out in almost a whisper "that would be perfect."

As Xena sped her rented Jaguar expertly through the streets of Athens, she thought of what she had learned about this beautiful woman sitting beside her now. She was a writer for a poplar adventure magazine and had just finished a story about the local cave divers off the coast of Greece. She had met Tomas a number of years ago while doing a story for the LA Times on ancient Greece. Tomas had helped her gain the trust of the locals so that she was able to get "the real story" she said. Couldn’t resist an attractive woman with a beautiful smile was more like it thought Xena. She still lived in LA too. Great, hopefully she doesn’t live too far from me Xena thought. Angela had always felt like Greece was her second home though. Said she felt comfortable here.

Xena felt so at ease with this woman. Almost as if they had met before, which she knew hadn’t happened. No way would she have forgotten those eyes and that bashful laugh.

As they approached the hotel, Angela slid her hand gently over Xena’s as Xena down shifted the transmission. "Would you like to come up and join me in a glass of wine?" she whispered softly.

Xena smiled and said seductively "Only if you let me uncork the bottle."

And even more seductively, Angela replied "I would love for you to do that. I have what I feel is a nice little vintage that I hope you will enjoy."

Smiling now and enjoying the hidden meaning of their banter, Xena said in a whisper "I can hardly wait to let it roll on my tongue so that I can taste the fullness of its body."

That was their first night together.

Chasing the pleasant memories from her mind, Xena moved in and out of the busy, LA afternoon traffic on the 101. She turned her mind now to formulating a plan to catch this Derrick. No one knew what he looked like or even whom he worked for. She had thought though that he must be an independent terrorist just out for the money.

Xena shivered as she thought about all the times she had destroyed villages and killed people "just for the money".

Xena knew that it was going to be hard to find him but knew she had to. She smiled then as she grabbed the phone again and placed a call to her old friend in Athens.

"Tomas, long time no see buddy" she said into the phone.

"Hey there Princess, what have you been up to? I haven’t talked with you in over a year" the booming voice with the heavy Greek accent came back over the receiver.

"Oh this and that, you know. Listen, I have to find a guy, you think you can help?" Xena said playfully.

"Yea, for you Princess, anything. Who is this guy and why don’t you ever come looking for me like that by the way? You know how much I love you." Tomas said just as playfully in return.

Tomas had been a friend to her for some fifty plus years, ever since the inception of Interpol. He was the only one in the world now that knew her secret although it took him quite some time to finally believe it. And he was the only one who ever called her "Princess" or could get away with it unscathed.

"This guy," Xena paused, "his name is Derrick." Xena said flatly as she waited for his response.

After a long pause, Tomas finally said coldly, "You don’t want to find this guy, believe me. He is no good. You will be killed. Well, you know what I mean. Xena, he is very dangerous. Why do you look for him?"

"I have to stop him from doing something very stupid. A lot of people will be killed if I can’t find him in time, do you understand? I need your help Tomas. Do you know where I will find him?" Xena said a bit too impatiently. Then "I’m sorry for snapping at you Tomas. I know you are only concerned for me, but right now there are a lot of innocent people that need my help."

"It’s okay Princess. I heard he was seen in Pakistan about three weeks ago. From there, I can not help you" he told her.

"Princess, please be careful, I really do love having you around and I don’t want you to be hurt. I know that you can not die but you can still be hurt you told me." Tomas said softly and with great concern to his friend.

Yes Tomas, I can be hurt. Even though I am immortal, I can still loose a limb or eye, then I would be like that forever Xena thought to herself as a shiver ran down her spine.

"Thank you dear friend, I will keep in touch and let you know what is happening." Xena said as she hung up the phone.

Xena turned off the 101 and onto the 405 heading south to LA X. She knew that her best chance in finding this guy would be to start by making a few calls to friends in Pakistan. She did not relish the idea of going there right now. There were too many people on edge there as a result of them developing the bomb and she knew that they would be hard pressed to give up any information to a stranger.

After making a few more calls, she pulled into the huge parking area of the airport. She parked her Bemmer in the long-term parking and grabbed her ever present, already packed bag out of the trunk and her laptop. She had gotten some more information from her friend Hajib on the latest sighting of Derrick and was now buying her one way ticket to Karachi, Pakistan.

During her long flight from LA to Karachi, Xena went over what she knew about this Derrick. She found out that he was indeed an independent terrorist, selling out to the highest bidder. But he had grown restless lately with the fact that he was so good at escaping the law and had now become associated with a group of extremists bent on world dominance and destruction. Although she believed that he was still in it for the money. This guy doesn’t seem like he has much of a concern for anything but cold, hard cash Xena thought. He had been seen in Pakistan about three weeks ago with a well-known arms dealer and was assumed to have acquired a nuclear device at that time.

He had sent a messenger to Interpol with a note that simply stated that if the world governments did not put 5 billion US dollars in a Swiss account soon, he would blow up a major world city and start World War III. The messenger committed suicide before he could be questioned. There was no dead line stated on the note, only the word "soon" for the payment to be made.

This guy is bent. If I don’t find him fast there won’t be anything left of the world we know Xena thought then let her thoughts trail off... like there has been nothing left for me since Gabrielle died.

Leaning back in her large first class seat, she looked out the window at the peacefulness of the stars and began to remember back to the time of her greatest sorrow, that of Gabrielle’s death.

Part 2