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the debit, part one
by Joanna
ext. great wall of china - day
Xena and Gabrielle are painting their names on the great wall when a man stumbles toward them, bleeding and dying.
man
Xena...
Xena cradles him in her arms.
GABRIELLE
('not this again')
Now what?
XENA
(to man)
I'm Xena. Who sent you?
MAN
I... I'm a messenger. The Quiet One Who Shushes With First Finger sent me...
XENA
(knowingly)
The Librarian...
MAN
You must... go to the Land Of Rus...
The man dies.
GABRIELLE
Huh? No way, Xena! We just blew a year's worth of budget here in Chin. We don't have any left for more epics! One-set comedies, that's all we can handle.
XENA
Then we'll have to save on your salary and I'll go alone.
GABRIELLE
(sarcastic)
Oh, now there's a fine solution.
XENA
I'm sorry, Gabrielle, but I have to go. I owe a great deal to The Librarian and if she needs me...
GABRIELLE
Better tell me the whole torrid, horrifying story so that I can be disgusted and betray you.
XENA
Excuse me?
GABRIELLE
Sorry, just thinking ahead. So who's this Librarian?
cUT TO:
ext. russian steppes - day
Xena and Gabrielle are the only two people for miles, walking through the Russian steppes.
XENA
(mid-story)
...no, Gabrielle, this isn't about periodicals. It's about scrolls.
GABRIELLE
So what happened after you and this guy Dewey did the deed on top of the card catalogue?
XENA
That's when I met her. The Librarian. She was no stranger to numbers, but she wasn't obsessed with them, like Dewey. No, she was a different sort. Wild and free, putting fiction next to non, biographies with reference, the j's next to the w's -- nothing phased her. Structure, she said, was for the rest of the world. When you can get beyond logical organization, you can perform miracles. Then she zipped through the room two feet off the ground, tossing scrolls onto the shelves. Said it was easier than hauling a ladder around.
Suddenly, a cloud of dust can be seen in the distance. They watch as a weary traveler approaches. Xena strips off her clothes and jumps in a nearby mudhole. Finally, he pulls up his horse.
Traveler
Most nice greetings to you, Stranger.
GABRIELLE
Uh... howdy. Hang on a sec.
Gabrielle leans her head into the mud and attempts to pass air to Xena. Unfortunately, Xena is several feet away breathing through a hollow reed. Gabrielle finishes locking lips with a mud turtle and returns her attention to the traveler.
GABRIELLE (cont'd)
(to herself)
Must get that turtle's number...
(to traveler)
May I help you?
Traveler
I heard Xena had entered the Land of Rus.
GABRIELLE
Yeah. I'll sell her to you for thirty dinars.
Traveler
Excusing me?
GABRIELLE
Okay, twenty-five. But that's my best offer.
Traveler
Um... I be here to return bracer Quiet One Who Shushes With First Finger borrow ten winters ago. I am not needing to be buying her.
GABRIELLE
Oh. Okay, I'll pass it on.
The traveler hands Gabrielle the bracer and turns around. Xena slowly rises out of the mud, the hollow reed between her teeth, her blue eyes the only color on her filth-covered face.
GABRIELLE (cont'd)
(really scared)
Uh... Xena? I can explain...
Xena walks right up to Gabrielle, removes the reed and smiles.
XENA
Did you know that if you blow just right into these things they play a little tune? Listen!
Xena blows into her hollow reed, playing Proud Mary.
GABRIELLE
I take it you didn't hear what went on with the traveler?
XENA
No, I had mud in my ears. What did he want?
GABRIELLE
He came to give you this bracer. Said it was from that quiet person.
Xena looks at it, her expression intense.
GABRIELLE (cont'd)
What is it? What's wrong?
XENA
C'mon, we have to hurry.
Xena starts jogging ahead, while Gabrielle gathers up the warrior's discarded clothing.
GABRIELLE
(yelling)
Don't you want to get dressed first?
XENA
No time. I'll just be naked until half-way through part two. It's sweeps month.
Gabrielle checks the velcro that fastens her clothes to her body, sighing happily.
GABRIELLE
Thank the gods she's willing to do all the naked stuff. Gotta love that woman.
(checking out Xena from behind)
And gotta love those shoulders and that back!
(shouting)
I'll just wait here!
cut TO:
int. library - night
Xena slips silently through the stacks, library card in her mouth. She gets on all fours and creeps toward the front desk. Slowly she rises, the card held high when the librarian turns around and -- it's Gabrielle!
to be continued...
