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by Xena Torres: Warrior Writer
ruffell@home.com
It was the night before Solstice, and all through the wood,
Not a creature was stirring, not evil, not good.
The fire was burning, keeping us warm,
While the sky remained clear, providing no storm.
The bard was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of breakfast danced in her head.
Her in her cloth, and I in my leather,
Had just settled down, dreaming of days much better.
When all of a sudden, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
I leapt from the ground to stand in the grass,
Ready for action should I need to kick ass.
The moon shone down providing little light,
The darkness engulfing the silence of night.
I opened my eyes an muttered, "Of course,"
When I saw the chariot drawn by a horse.
You think warlords would rest since Solstice was here,
Then again, maybe this chap was just drunken on beer.
I awoke Gabrielle with water in the face,
And she was quickly at my side, knowing the pace.
He was almost upon us, the warrior scum,
And to dare challenge me, proved he was dumb.
I could imagine him now, a butt-ugly man,
And he'd have such an odor, I'd kill for a fan.
I was growing annoyed at how slow this man came,
I wished he would hurry so we could end the game.
Gabrielle and I would stop him before he could utter a peep,
To then return to our beds for our well earned sleep.
Finally the moron had made it over to us,
And under my breath, I muttered a cuss.
I drew my sword and stood my ground,
When out stepped the driver, jolly and round.
I smacked myself in the head when I realized it was he,
He wasn't some moron here to fight me.
No, he was the man that handed out toys,
To all the villages, to the good girls and boys.
His eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
"Sintacles!" Gabrielle called, hugging our friend,
The toy maker whose life we did mend.
He stepped out of the chariot with a great, big, large sack,
And carried the weight like a horse with a pack.
I suggested a reindeer and not a chariot, but a sleigh,
In hopes it might keep the thoughts he was a warlord away.
He nodded his head, but then told us he had gifts for Gabby and I, Scrolls for the bard, and for me, parchment that could fly. Then he jumped back into his chariot, fast, For the time he could spend with us had past.
But I heard him call back, as he rode into the wood, "Merry Solstice to all, and Xena stay good!"
Xena never stops
To use our cooking tools.
Throwing our utensils
At a warlord's fools.
I know just who
To blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Solstice Eve
Is as plain as can be!
All I want for Solstice
Is my frying pan,
My frying pan,
See my frying pan!
Gee if I could only
Have my frying pan,
Then I could cook us
Solstice dinner!
It seems so long since I could make,
A meal much more then bread and cheese.
Gosh, oh gee, how happy I'd be,
If I could only cook this eel with ease!
All I want for Solstice
Is my frying pan,
My frying pan,
See my frying pan.
Gee, if I could only
Have my frying pan,
Then I could cook us
Solstice dinner!
When I was a warlord,
I fought both night and day,
But I prayed for a hand to guide me,
And a bard showed me the way.
Go tell it on Olympus,
Over the hills and everywhere.
Go tell it on Olympus,
That Xena changed her ways.
The bard made me a good soul,
Breaking through my wall,
And she leads me down the right path,
Not allowing me to fall.
Go tell it on Olympus,
Over the hills and everywhere.
Go tell it on Olympus,
That Xena changed her ways.
The first dear friend, the gods did say,
Was certain to save me from my life that day.
I saved her life, and she did the same,
So that night the young bard, into my life she came.
Dear friend, dear friend, dear friend, dear friend,
Born is the friendship that never will end.
In her face, I saw a star,
One with light that shone oh so far,
And to me, it gave great light,
Light that continued both day and night.
Dear friend, dear friend, dear friend, dear friend,
Born is the friendship that never did end.
And from the light of her face,
I was able to find my pace,
To find what she had, inside her own breast,
And to follow her teachings I would be my best.
Dear friend, dear friend, dear friend, dear friend,
Born in the friendship that never will end.
She taught me love and showed me the beauty of life,
Something that had once hurt me like a sharpened knife.
I felt peace inside for the first time in years,
And with the young bard, I could share all my tears.
Dear friend, dear friend, dear friend, dear friend,
Born is the friendship that never will end.
This bard drew strength from a power inside,
Something in me, that had long ago died,
And she walked with me to show me the way,
Not about to let me go once more astray.
Dear friend, dear friend, dear friend, dear friend,
Born is the friendship that never will end.
Here come the warriors!
Here come the warriors!
Right down the forest path!
They're riding on Argo,
Here to stop another psychopath.
Gabby is telling, Xena is yelling,
They're ready to do what's right.
No more warlord's taking your town,
'Cause the warriors are coming tonight!
Here come the warriors!
Here come the warriors!
Right down the forest lane!
They've got the power to help you out,
And they'll do it again and again.
Can't you hear Xena's warrior call,
She's a women full of might.
With staff and sword, they don't get bored,
The warriors are coming tonight.
Said the night wind, to the man on watch,
"Do you see what I see?
Coming now, man on watch,
Do you see what I see?
A warrior, a warrior moves quickly through the night,
A warrior full of anger and might.
A warrior full of anger and might."
Said the man on watch, to the guard that night,
"Do you hear what I hear?
She's coming here, guard tonight,
Do you hear what I hear?
A warrior call, a blood curdling yell,
I don't know about you, but I'm not feeling well.
I don't know about you, but I'm not feeling well."
Said the guard that night to the mighty warlord,
"Do you fear what I fear?
She's on her way, mighty warlord,
Do you fear what I fear?
The warrior is Xena, and she is on her way,
She will be here before it is day.
She will be here before it is day."
Said the warlord to his men in camp,
"Listen to what I say.
Listen up, men in camp!
Listen to what I say.
The Warrior Princess will be here by dawn,
Let us flee and let us be gone.
Let us flee and let us be gone."
Gabby the bard, was a jolly, happy soul,
With two emerald eyes and a button nose
And of course a lifetime goal.
Gabby the bard, told fairy tales they say,
She was made of hope and the warrior knows
How she came to life one day.
There must of been some magic
In the friendship that they made,
For when they were together,
They came to others age.
O' Gabby the bard,
Was as hopeful as she could be,
And she could spin a tale,
A magical tale that would capture you and me.
A la la, la la
A la la, la la
Look at Gabby go.
A la la, la la
A la la, la la
With face always aglow!
Gabby the bard, knew that inside everyone was good.
So she said, "Look inside,
For they hide,
And they'll be understood."
They went to the village,
Riding on Argo's back,
With Gabby telling stories everywhere,
Saying, "I sing of a Warrior Princess."
She told her tales of Xena,
The greatest warrior she knew,
And she only paused a moment,
When her face started turning blue.
Yet after a time,
Gabby had to hurry on her way,
But she waved good-bye, saying,
"Don't you cry,
I'll be back again some day."
A la la, la la
A la la, la la
Look at Gabby go.
A la la, la la
With face always aglow!
Come they told me,
A la la la la.
It was time to be free,
A la la la la.
To feel love once more,
A la la la la.
In feelings, no longer poor,
A la la la la,
La la la la,
La la la la!
So to give a hand,
A la la la la.
Won't break the law.
Then, I met a bard,
A la la la la.
I learned so much from her,
A la la la la.
I learned to treasure she,
A la la la la.
Now, I am truly free,
A la la la la,
La la la la,
La la la la!
My warrior skills,
A la la la la.
No longer a flaw
.
I would use them,
A la la la la.
To stop evil warlords,
A la la la la.
I'll use my skills for good,
A la la la la.
Use them to change the world,
A la la la la,
La la la la,
La la la la!
Gabby, agreed with me,
A la la la la.
No longer a flaw
.
O' Argo is ready to go,
And this will be quite the show.
You'll know that I haven't lied,
Let us ride! Let us ride! Let us ride!
Gabrielle doesn't wan to come,
I think she fears the horse some.
She'd rather that she died,
Let us ride! Let us ride! Let us ride!
I love to ride her through the breeze,
And all along the beach of sand.
Not to mention through the trees,
Anywhere across the land.
So come along, I'm inviting you,
Don't worry I know just what to do.
It's you and me, side by side,
Let us ride! Let us ride! Let us ride!
Silver and gold, silver and gold,
Everyone wishes for silver and gold.
How do you measure it's worth?
Just by the pleasure it gives here on Earth.
Silver and gold, silver and gold,
Means so much more when I see,
Xena's silver and gold chakram,
Breaking that warlord's knee.
WHAT BARD IS THIS?
(sung to "What Child Is This?")
What bard is this, at my side,
Telling tales of a journey?
Whom they greet, with dinars at her feet,
Hoping for a tale with glee.
Whom children flock to hear more tales,
Tell, tell the stories now,
You bard from Poteidaia!
So all you come and hear her now,
All her stories of wonder.
Tales that move you, like so few do,
Tales that shock you like claps of thunder.
Speak, speak the stories strong,
please Gabby continue on.
Please, please tell them all,
You bard from Poteidaia!
Xena yells,
Look behind you.
In the town,
She will find you.
You can't hide from her sight,
You're a dead man tonight.
Walking in a Xena wonderland.
Here she comes, she's Gabrielle.
What a bard, that Gabrielle.
She tells a love tale,
Her stories don't fail.
Walking in a Xena wonderland.
In the city Xenites start to gather,
Because here comes Lucy and Renee.
They'll say, "Are you ready?"
We'll say, "Yes ma'ams!
Ready to receive some autographs."
Later on,
It's time for the show.
The Xenites sure, don't move slow.
To face with great glee,
Xena on TV.
Walking in a Xena wonderland.
In the city Xenites start to gather,
For it's time for another XenaFest.
We'll have lots of fun with other Xenites,
And see who knows the most with a Xena test.
Here she is,
Ain't she meana?
Battle on, lovely Xena
.
We'll sing right along,
It's Xena's theme song.
Walking in a Xena wonderland.
Walking in a Xena wonderland.
Walking in a Xena wonderland.
Have yourself a merry little Solstice.
Decorate your tree.
Just make sure you don't steal
Your ornaments, from warriors you see.
Have yourself a merry little Solstice.
Listen to Gabrielle.
The bard knows amazing tales,
And if you ask her she will tell.
Here we are in the orphanage,
Gabrielle's telling her tale.
The children are listening, eyes full of wonder,
While Xena is drinking her ale.
They turned the king
And now they can stay there,
They'll enjoy the light.
Xena and Gabrielle came to their rescue
Like birds set in flight.
And they'll have themselves
A merry little Solstice night.
I'll be home for Solstice,
You know I'd never lie.
Please be glad to see me my friend,
Or it will be my end.
Solstice Eve will find me,
Fishing for dinner in streams.
I'll be home for Solstice,
If only in my dreams.
I wonder as I wander out here in the wood,
How Xena the warrior was not always good.
For poor warrior Xena was simply misunderstood.
I wonder as I wander out here in the wood.
When I first met Xena, she had saved us all,
My family and my village, as I recall.
I wanted to join the warrior so tall,
Yet she had built up a strong and powerful wall.
I tried and I tried to break my through,
However it was very hard for me to do,
Yet I found the hole and I got into,
The wall of the warrior, Xena, so true.
Young Amazon Princess,
Please help me on my way!
I need someone to teach me right,
The help I need today.
Just a hand is all I need,
Will you help me through?
Tell me please dear Amazon,
Will we stick like glue?
I didn't think I could be good,
Not when I was bad.
Hercules did prove me wrong,
I was simply sad.
For I had lost my brother,
And that, took my head.
I been so close to him,
Then suddenly he's dead.
So will you walk, with me bard,
And take me to the light?
Show me all the goodness now,
Give me inner might.
I will love and treasure you,
You will be my friend.
You and me dear Amazon,
Always to the end.
I saw three warlords come storming in,
On Solstice Day, on Solstice Day.
I saw three warlords come storming in,
On Solstice Day in the morning.
They wanted to ransack our town,
On Solstice Day, on Solstice Day.
They wanted to ransack our town,
On Solstice Day in the morning.
Xena and Gabby came to help us out,
On Solstice Day, on Solstice Day.
Xena and Gabby came to help us out,
On Solstice Day in the morning.
And they would keep us save again,
On Solstice Day, on Solstice Day.
And they would keep us save again,
On Solstice Day in the morning.
Away in a forest, no bed for a bed,
The little bard Gabby, laid down her sweet head.
The Gods on the mountain, looked down where she lay,
The little bard Gabby, asleep in the hay.
The warlords are calling, the young one awakes,
But little bard Gabby, no whining she makes.
I love thee bard Gabby, for you are my friend,
And please stay at my side till it is the end.
Deck the taverns with Xena's yells,
A la la la la la la la la!
Watch her bang their heads like bells,
A la la la la la la la la!
She will hit with fists of fury,
A la la la la la la la la!
Wearing a smile with no worry,
A la la la la la la la la!
Gabby's there at her side,
A la la la la la la la la!
Swinging her staff far and wide,
A la la la la la la la la!
Xena takes a drink of strong alcohol,
A la la la la la la la la!
And blows a fiery, deadly fireball,
A la la la la la la la la!
The men they run with butts aflame,
A la la la la la la la la!
And Xena and Gabby laugh at the game,
A la la la la la la la la!
The battle's over they have won,
A la la la la la la la la!
And they ride off into the sun,
A la la la la la la la la!
Hark! The Warrior Princess sing,
"I'll take care of that greedy King!
I'll make him stop his evil deeds,
And help him plant goodness seeds."
Be merry all, and drink your port;
She's the greatest warrior of the sort.
Listen to her words so wise,
"Do not be fooled by evil's disguise."
Hark! The Warrior Princess sing,
"I'll take care of any greedy king!
No one should control another's soul,
Especially not to achieve a greedy goal.
Beware my wrath if you are wrong,
And quiver if you hear my warrior song.
If a yell should blare from my lips,
A mighty kick will come from my hips.
It will connect with your jaw,
So don't you dare break the law."
Hark! The bard Gabby sing,
"I tell of Xena, beware her sting!
She was once evil, but now she's good.
She found her way, but is misunderstood.
I saw into her heart of gold.
With one look from her eyes, I was sold,
That she was truly on our side.
Her soul a rock, against the tide.
She asks no money for what she do,
For Xena is a warrior true."
Hark! The bard Gabby sing,
"Know the good my friend can bring."
Joy to all Greece! The warrior has come!
Let towns receive her help.
Let everyone know her yell,
While warlords scream and yelp
While warlords scream and yelp
(while warlords scream and yelp)
While warlords, warlords, scream and yelp.
She'll save the world from tyranny,
And even evil Gods.
She won't take lip from anyone,
And she is a mighty warrior
And she is a mighty warrior
(and she is a mighty warrior)
And she is a mighty Warrior Princess!
O' Gabby bard, O' Gabby bard,
How do you stay so pure with me?
O' Gabby bard, O' Gabby bard,
How do you stay so pure with me?
Through battles hard and deadly,
With blood that is so redly.
O' Gabby bard, O' Gabby bard,
How do you stay so pure with me?
O' Gabby bard, O' Gabby bard,
You stay with me when times are hard.
O' Gabby bard, O' Gabby bard,
You stay with me when times are hard.
You tell your tales you wonder bard.
You never keep your stories jarred.
O' Gabby bard, O' Gabby bard,
You stay with me when times are hard.
O' Gabby bard, O' Gabby bard,
Your inner light shines outwardly.
O' Gabby bard, O' Gabby bard,
Your inner light shines outwardly.
I cannot live without you friend,
This hard life causes me to bend.
O' Gabby bard, O' Gabby bard,
Your inner light shines outwardly.
Silent eve, still eve,
All is sad, both doth grieve.
She lost the man she loved with her heart.
Her innocent life has been ripped apart.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
Silent eve, still eve,
All is sad, both doth grieve.
I tried to calm her tortured soul,
But what had happened, took its toll.
How do I make my friend well?
How do I make my friend well?
Silent eve, still eve,
All is sad, both doth grieve.
I stopped his killer, the evil one,
But in her madness, she still won.
I wish my bard was well.
I wish my bard was well.
On the first day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
A Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the second day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the third day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Three sharpened swords,
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the fourth day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Four beaten warlords,
Three sharpened swords,
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the fifth day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Five Xena look-a-likes,
Four beaten warlords,
Three sharpened swords,
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the sixth day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Six horses running,
Five Xena look-a-likes,
Four beaten warlords,
Three sharpened swords,
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the seventh day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Seven eels a squirming,
Six horses running,
Five Xena look-a-likes,
Four beaten warlords,
Three sharpened swords,
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the eighth day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Eight flying parchments,
Seven eels a squirming,
Six horses running,
Five Xena look-a-likes,
Four beaten warlords,
Three sharpened swords,
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the ninth day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Nine whips a-lashing,
Eight flying parchments,
Seven eels a squirming,
Six horses running,
Five Xena look-a-likes,
Four beaten warlords,
Three sharpened swords,
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the tenth day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Ten bards reciting,
Nine whips a-lashing,
Eight flying parchments,
Seven eels a squirming,
Six horses running,
Five Xena look-a-likes,
Four beaten warlords,
Three sharpened swords,
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the eleventh day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Eleven chakrams whooshing,
Ten bards reciting,
Nine whips a-lashing,
Eight flying parchments,
Seven eels a squirming,
Six horses running,
Five Xena look-a-likes,
Four beaten warlords,
Three sharpened swords,
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
On the twelfth day of Solstice,
Xena and Gabby gave to me:
Twelve Amazons fighting,
Eleven chakrams whooshing,
Ten bards reciting,
Nine whips a-lashing,
Eight flying parchments,
Seven eels a squirming,
Six horses running,
Five Xena look-a-likes,
Four beaten warlords,
Three sharpened swords,
Two wooden sheep,
And a Warrior Princess fighting for free.
Dashing through the wood,
On Argo's back we go.
M'Lila wears her hood,
While Joxer runs in tow.
Stopping evil warlords,
>From making a big mess.
Sometimes smacking them with boards
Can work the very best!
O, Xena's yell, Xena's yell,
Heard through all of Greece.
She fights with Gabby at her side,
Keeping all the peace.
O, Xena's yell, Xena's yell,
Heard through all of Greece.
She fights with Gabby at her side,
Keeping all the peace.
A day or two ago,
Xena saw a sight,
Draco the warlord,
Had turned to doing right.
He had fallen for Gabrielle,
And wanted all her love,
So he gave up being evil,
To instead fly like a dove.
O, Xena's yell, Xena's yell,
Heard through all of Greece.
She fights with Gabby at her side,
Keeping all the peace.
O, Xena's yell, Xena's yell,
Heard through all of Greece.
She fights with Gabby at her side,
Keeping all the peace.
They went to see the Amazons,
Warrior women of might,
Seeing Xena stand amoung them,
Was really quite a sight!
Gabrielle's their Queen,
Because of right of caste.
She learned to fight from them,
Because Xena won't with her past.
O, Xena's yell, Xena's yell,
Heard through all of Greece.
She fights with Gabby at her side,
Keeping all the peace.
O, Xena's yell, Xena's yell,
Heard through all of Greece.
She fights with Gabby at her side,
Keeping all the peace.
So, Xena a warrior be,
Warrior Princess is her name.
Don't fight her in a tavern,
Or you will go aflame.
Xena kicks some butt,
And no man can beat her in a fight.
Although they try many times,
Only another woman did it right!
O, Xena's yell, Xena's yell,
Heard through all of Greece.
She fights with Gabby at her side,
Keeping all the peace.
O, Xena's yell, Xena's yell,
Heard through all of Greece.
She fights with Gabby at her side,
Keeping all the peace.
You better watch out.
You better be good.
Better behave,
And this is why you should.
The Warrior Princess is coming to town.
She polishing her weapons,
And checking them twice.
She knows if you're evil or nice.
The Warrior Princess is coming to town.
She knows when you are not around,
Or when you're at her back.
She knows how to take you out,
So you better cut her some slack.
O! You better watch out!
You better be good,
Better behave,
And this is why you should,
The Warrior Princess is coming to town.
The Warrior Princess is coming to town.
You know Hercules, Alexander, Atalanta and Ulysses.
The Amazons, Spartacus, Caesar and Achilles.
But do you recall,
The most famous warrior of all?
Xena the Warrior Princess,
(Princess)
Had something to prove to all.
(everybody)
And she could make your blood freeze,
(blood freeze)
With her mighty warrior call.
(A la la la la!)
All of the other warriors
(warriors)
Trembled at Xena's name.
(Xena!)
They didn't dare get in the way,
(in the way)
Of the Warrior Princess' fame.
(no sir!)
Then on dark and gloomy night,
Darphus turned astray.
And so the Warrior Princess,
Was forced to go away.
Then she became a good girl,
(good girl)
And all her former victums shouted out with glee
(Whoop-ee!)
Xena the Warrior Princess
(Princess)
You'll go down in history!
(more than Hercules!)
I'm dreaming of a new episode,
Just like before the reruns came.
Where adventures arise,
And the words are wise,
While stories are never lame.
I'm dreaming of a new episode,
Just like ones we had before.
With stories that leave us wanting more,
Stories that are great right to the core.
I'm dreaming of a new episode,
Just like ones we had before.
With stories that leave us wanting more,
Stories that are great right to the core.
We wish you a merry Solstice,
We wish you a merry Solstice,
We wish you a merry Solstice,
And a happy new season!
Good tidings we bring,
To you and your town,
Good tidings we bring,
And a happy new season!
Please bring us some bread and port,
Please bring us some bread and port,
Please bring us some bread and port,
Please bring them out here!
Good tidings we bring,
To you and your town,
Good tidings we bring,
And a happy new season!
We won't go until we get some,
We won't go until we get some,
We won't go until we get some,
Don't make us bash heads!
We wish you a merry Solstice,
We wish you a merry Solstice,
We wish you a merry Solstice,
And a happy new season!
