Convert this page to Pilot DOC Format
First, I would like to thank Lucy and Renee for being my Prozac: )
Now, I'm probably going to get my hoon ass booted off this board but I can't resist a golden opportunity like this to parody...
[I can't call them "freaks" or "no-lifers" - I need something ridgy-didge to
To the Hard-core, Diehard Nutballs;
Thank you so much for your kind sentiments.
[Thank you so much for your insanity as long as it pays the dockets]
Providentially, your letters reached me on a very tough day when I needed
[In case you blokes haven't notice by now, "providence" and all of it's formations is my all-time favorite word, you see, I missed it on the SAT and now I've pledged my life to saying it as much as possible]
Donna's poem actually brought a wee tear to my eye.
[Either that or they parked Argo's caravan next to mine again]
I thank Lillian for collating your letters and obviously weeding out any
idiots (I find it hard to believe there weren't any - mind you there seems to
be some tacit coded of honor amongst our internetties).
[I've just used "collating" and "tacit" in the same sentence - DAMN - there goes half of the American audience!]
And send my love to Jetthead who passed the messages on.
[Make nice-nice with the freaks' leader]
I do not often go on the net unless my partner forces me to sit down for 2
seconds, but I am often charmed when I do.
[Charmed? Try SCARED WITLESS!]
I have passed a copy of your letters on to Renee who got a great kick out of
them and sends her love.
[In actuality, this is what happened...
Lucy banging on the door of Renee's dressing room
Lucy: Hey Nee Nee, open up, I've got some more posts from the loonies in your country!
Renee: Would you go away? - Don't you have some sugar cane to cut or sheep to shear? Dumb Aussie!
Lucy: For the last time, I'M NOT AN AUSSIE, you bloody Arkansan!
Renee: YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW
Lucy: Of course you Yanks don't know the first thing about geography, so I can't really blame you
Renee: We Yanks OWN the world, we don't NEED to know what country is what!
Lucy: Then don't ask me to figure out anymore metric conversions for you!
Renee: Just who do you think you are, one of the All Blacks?
Lucy: And just who do you think YOU are, Miss Texas?
Wouldn't you know we had to film the emotional death scene from "The Greater Good" right after this? That little dag deliberately had onion soup right before she kissed me!]
I am busy filming these days - currently we're shooting the 2nd Callisto ep
which is a blast and then we begin thew 3rd Callisto involving mind-transfer.
[Look, I know I've given too much away here but it's repeat season in the USA, they need something to hold on to besides their computers and psycho thoughts]
In one month, I come to the States for one week's publicity, then off to
Europe for a holiday. Yipee!
[Yes, another Big O.E. for me. - Americans don't know what that means and I don't care!]
[It's only a matter of time before they want my Confirmation name]
Xena: Warrior Princess
[At least I'm teaching them how to properly use a colon...OH LORD WHAT HAVE I DONE?]
[Now a MAJOR tourist destination thanks to ME ME ME ME ME!]
[Contrary to what you people think, it's NOT January here!]
Lizzygirl: The Three Dollar Bill